How do you deal with bumps at work?

welly01

There is a girl at work that is pregnant and due 1 week before I was.  Now every time I see her, its a reminder that I'm not pregnant.  What makes it worse is that she is friends with the guy that sits next to me and very loudly and frequently discusses her pregnancy with him (weird, right?).  I just want to tell her to STFU and quit being such an AW.  Every time there's food in the office and she has some, she proclaims its "for the baby" or "what baby wants, what baby gets".

Ugh, several times this week its just put me into a bad mood seeing/listening to her.  I've gotten a good pair of ear buds and usually have my music turned up, but there's been a couple of times I haven't had them in when she comes by.

I know this will be a long, painful road and I may have months or years of TTC ahead of me.  How do you keep from being constantly pissed off and/or depressed all the time?

yellowcat10

For me it depends on the Bump.  This woman sounds horrible, but not every pg woman behaves this way.  We had a baby boom recently where I am.  Some I am friends with and so I sucked it up and talked to them.  They were nice enough to not talk about being pg unless I asked. Another woman who already annoys me behaved like your coworker and so I avoided that one like the plague,  Others may have different ways of coping, I think it really depends on how far along on the journey you are and who the bump is.

MrsG80inTN

I'm sorry this has put you in a bad spot :-(  My coworker was PG during my first loss and it was hard.  She knew about my losses though and wound up being pretty relaxed about it.  For me, I've chosen to be open about my losses in general (that's not for everyone though), and this has helped me because I feel like people are more cognizant about it around me and if they get cray cray I can pull them aside and be like "Hey, please don't gripe about being pregnant becuase many of us ache for that privilege"... 

AnnaInman

I'm so sorry you are having to deal with someone like this. Maybe if it continues to get worse just pull her aside and explain nicely about what you just went through and how you know she is excited and she should be but it's hurting you because of your loss. Ask her to please be more discreet around you. I hope she calms down, I couldn't imagine. I get so sad every time I see a newborn on facebook or the store. Sending you big hugs!!

negritosmami

i was gonna type what @annainman wrote. so ditto that. im so sorry you have to deal with that. That would be sooo annoying..what baby wants baby gets though!!id probably be like oh please!!but yea if shes reasonable at all..i think she will tone it done some if you tell her what you've been thru and are still going thru! best of luck to you.

meredithcarole

I think you've been given some good advice. I am sorry you are dealing with this. (((Hugs)))

mflowers929

I'm sorry you're going through that :-( I'm pretty lucky that I work in a small environment with mostly older ladies. We're like a family though, so they all know about my loss because they went through it with me. There is one girl whose pregnant, but she lost quite a few babies before this one, so she's quite sensitive to my needs. I'm really not sure what I'd do if I had to deal with that situation.

uromys

All have said it well. @MrsG80inTNI myself may need to make a mental note for later.

((hugs)) I'm sorry you're going through that. I know it's hard.

ctk181

I'm sorry you are dealing with this. I have a similar situation at work with a girl who is due a week before what would have been my EDD. It sucks so bad to watch her pregnancy progress and think that is where I should be in mine. I have had many ugly cries during my commutes home over it. My co-worker does not know about my loss but she is not quite as obnoxious as yours, so when she does talk about it I can usually tune her out. I personally don't feel comfortable talking to people at work about my loss (with the exception of a few friends) but I think PPs have given some good advice if you do feel comfortable talking with her about it. Otherwise, all you can do is just pop your ear buds in to tune her out or walk away when she comes over. ((Hugs)) 

Nikolie93

I can't imagine dealing with it everyday at work. The closest I have come was my engineer but it was his wife that just had the baby so I didn't have to deal with the bump. I'm sorry you have to go through that and I agree with the others, maybe just take her aside and talk to her about it.

dawnstar898

(((hugs))) I'm so sorry you have to deal with that.  I've had to deal with two pregnant co-workers during/since both of my losses.  Everyone at work knew about my losses but as time passed, I'm sure it was further and further in the back of their minds.  Both the women I work with though are very down to earth and were never obnoxious about it.  I tried to share in their joy (or at least fake it) when I could, and just walk away when I couldn't.  Not going to lie, I had to dig so deep sometimes.  I had to tell myself to just suck it up and deal a lot.  I try to remember that hopefully someday I will be in their shoes and I would want people to be happy for me and share in my excitement.

ImJessesGirl

Please don't hate me for my following response...

I really really hate it when I see the pregnant teenagers at work (I teach high school). I can't help but think, wow, she got pregnant and is getting a baby, but I don't.... oooook.

I usually just try to ignore it as none of them are in my class. We have a couple pregnant teachers, but their classrooms are, thankfully, nowhere near mine.

Sorry for you having to deal with that. I know it has got to be really rough.

Nikolie93

@ImJessesGirl‌ I think that thinking can be normal. I feel the same way when I see friends I know get pregnant by accident and don't really want a child

ImJessesGirl

I, personally, will never understand when people say they "accidentally" got pregnant. I'm pretty sure we all know how babies are made... so when you choose to engage in certain activities that are known to cause babies, it is possible. It's not an "accident".... That's just my thinking. @Nikolie93 I have a friend who has gotten pregnant "accidentally" twice. Like, wtf....

Nikolie93

Yeah, MH's sister just had her 3rd baby... "by accident". *sigh*

welly01

Thank you for all the support.  I'm feeling better today.  I hope this week will be better.  As much as my loss sucked, I don't want it affecting my mood at work or just my happiness in general.  I definitely don't want to talk to her about my loss.  I have a feeling that she would react in a way that would be the opposite of helpful in this situation.  I'm going to suck it up and make sure I'm wearing my ear buds all. the. time.

crdesrosiers

I can understand what you are feeling.  There are a few girls that I work with who are currently PG and I am happy for them but at the same time I have a feeling of resentment towards them.  It's not their fault, I know, but it still bothers me that they could conceive and have a healthy baby while I couldn't.  I try not to dwell on the bad, but it's hard to not wish I was them.  I clearly still have some emotion towards my situation...