When to drop the nap altogether?

ktpaladino

Hello guys! It's been several months since I've been on this board...I've had my hands full lately. Anyways, I'm sorry if this gets asked for this age range a lot, but how do you know it's time to get rid of nap time totally? My son is now 2.5. He used to take a 1-2 hour afternoon nap around 11 am. Now he's not going down until 1:00 most days, and sleeping an a average of 3-3.5 hours! So he's getting up around 5 and then I can't get him to bed until 9 or 10 at night when he's usually always up at 6:00 no matter what time he goes down. A few moms in his school group said that they don't do naps anymore and it made me wonder if I should try it. He's very cranky by like 3:00 if he hasn't napped yet. But maybe I can put him down for a nice early bedtime if he doesn't nap? I am torn. I feel like this experiment could be a disaster! I'd love to hear from anyone that has had success cutting naps out altogether. A family member suggested waking him and not letting him sleep past 3:00 but whenever I've had to wake him up in the past, he's a total bear for the remainder of the day. Arg. Any suggestions and experiences...send them my way please! TIA!

greyt00

I'd drop the nap and move bedtime up.  DS1 was fighting naps very bad when just a little younger than yours.  I think his bedtime was 8:30 PM while napping.  Not sure why it was so late, I think we were just afraid he would wake up earlier if we put him in bed earlier, even though most people say that's not what happens.  With his nap, at the time, it seemed like enough sleep. Anyway, with nap gone, we moved it up to 8 PM and then 7:45 PM.  My son has ASD, though, and is just not a sleeper. 

I agree with not waking him from a nap -- that was always a disaster for us.  The fact that he is sleeping for 3+ hours makes me think he still needs the nap, but it is late in the day so I understand that problem.  When DS1 was dropping his nap it was like that, too.  No naps some days and 3 hours other times.  We got tired of fighting and gave up.  It will probably be rough for a few days, at least, but in time I'm sure he will get used to the new schedule.  I'd move bedtime up by 10-15 minutes each day until you think you've got it right.  Even if he's exhausted, moving bedtime drastically on one day may not be the best thing.  

I learned my lesson about bedtimes.... DS2 is 2 years 2 months and usually naps 2 hours, sometimes a little less.  His bedtime is staying at 7:30 PM at all costs.  He will drop that nap eventually and need the sleep. 

ashiscute

I wake my kids from their nap every day around 330 unless they went down later and then I get them by 4.  They both have a bedtime of 8pm during the week.  Sometimes 830 on weekends.  

DD is 3.5 and DS just turned 2 and they both still nap every day.  I feel like I could have DD skip her nap and just move her bedtime BUT she is happier when she naps.  I just take her upstairs and let her play or whatever until she falls asleep.  Then I get her at 330.  

Every kid is different but I would not give up a nap at this age.  I'd rather have the nap with a later bedtime personally.

ktpaladino

The thing is, he NEVER fights me when I try to put him down. I jst wait for his tired cues which seem to be around one and he goes down like an angel!

JENandJEH

I wouldn't drop the nap, I would just start waking him up after 2ish hours by making noises around the house so that he kind of wakes up on his own without you in the room.  DS2 sleeps with the door closed so we just open it and go about our business and he typically wakes up within 10 minutes.  It sounds as if he still needs the nap and that getting rid of it may just make him more tired and cranky.  My youngest is around the same age and he still sleeps 2-3 hours in the afternoon.  I put him down for nap around 12:30 and he's up by 3 or 3:30 then to bed between 7-7:30.  He usually wakes up for the day around 6:30 or 7am.  

ktpaladino

JENandJEH said:

I wouldn't drop the nap, I would just start waking him up after 2ish hours by making noises around the house so that he kind of wakes up on his own without you in the room.  DS2 sleeps with the door closed so we just open it and go about our business and he typically wakes up within 10 minutes.  It sounds as if he still needs the nap and that getting rid of it may just make him more tired and cranky.  My youngest is around the same age and he still sleeps 2-3 hours in the afternoon.  I put him down for nap around 12:30 and he's up by 3 or 3:30 then to bed between 7-7:30.  He usually wakes up for the day around 6:30 or 7am.  

This is pretty much us, except for the fact that if I put him in bed at 7:30, he won't be sleeping until 9:30 or 10:00. He just doesn't seem tired. I don't know what to do

ktpaladino

I'm going to try to open his door, turn lights on, make noise around 3 and see if he wakes on his own tomorrow

michelle7482

My 2.5 year old used to go down from 1-4 everyday since she was 1.5 and go to bed at 8:30-9. When I took her pacifier away last month she refused to nap anymore so her bedtime is now 7:15-8. Some days she NEEDS a nap and is a crank pants but I can't force her to sleep so this is our new normal. She was 31 months when the naps stopped.

Beevol

I'm with @JENandJEH - he's not fighting the nap and clearly needs it otherwise he wouldn't be sleeping so long, but if it's too much, letting him wake up earlier naturally (as opposed to going in an waking him up) might be a good thing to test out. 

You didn't mention when his usual bed time is, and I'm curious, on those days that he takes 4 hours naps - is it that you do the bedtime ritual at the same time and he just fights it or is it that he just isn't tired and you don't start the bedtime ritual until later? I'm not sure which way would be better, but if it's one, maybe you can try the other (like starting bedtime at 8 instead of 7 and seeing if he goes with it OR starting bedtime at 7 like usual and letting him fuss). 

ktpaladino

Update! So yesterday I put him down at 1 and opened his door to gently wake him at 3:00. He was in bed at 8:30 and asleep by 9:00. So I think I'm going to try to inch his nap to 12:30 over the course of this week and wake him at 2:30 in hopes that I can put him in bed at 8 and he'll go down easy by 8:30.

@Beevol‌, the days he has the 4 hour naps, I would always keep bath at 7:30 and still have him in bed by his normal bedtime, 8:00, but he was just not tired. He was up and down asking to pee, for water, for a snack, turn his nightlight back on etc. so he wouldn't actually fall asleep till 10...some nights even 10:30! It was killing me! The experiment seemed to work well yesterday so hopefully we can continue that.

Beevol

@ktpaladino So glad to hear that things are working! 

Sometimes I feel like being a mom is like being a scientist in a weird psychology research project - tweeking and tinkering with a schedule for optimum results. 

DawnJM25

DD just turned 3 and is starting to fight naps, but she is tired in the afternoons and she's a hot mess by dinner time if she hasn't napped.  For those reasons I don't want to entirely drop the nap yet.  When we can, we go to the park or something like that in the morning to wear her out. She typically goes down around 1 and will sleep 1.5-2 hours when she naps.  I know some 3.5-4 year olds who still nap, so I think it's possible, but every kid is different.  Nighttime is 8PM-6AM (give or take 15 min or so) with or without a nap.  I agree with PP- waking from a nap is a disaster for us.  I'll take what I can get, even if she goes down late I let her sleep.