Does this seem right to you? (Updated)

KikiCohen · October 2014

I had my confirmation appt this morning with a nurse at my OB's office. She was rude and I left my appt very upset.

First, she went through my pregnancy history/health history with me. I had a m m/c with my first pregnancy and developed IUGR (and thus was a high risk pregnancy) with DS. Then she had me take a test. She came back with my results and told me that it was "faint" but positive. Cue the freak out. I told her that I have irregular and longer cycles and I chart so I should be 4 weeks 3 days today and asked if the test should be darker. She rudely informed me that I was 4 weeks 5 days based on LMP (which isn't even right, btw) and that tests couldn't tell me HOW pregnant I was. So no reassurance at all. And she gave me a condescending smirk and asked if this was my first pregnancy. NO. WE JUST WENT OVER MY HISTORY.

I had a list of questions for her such as when I would be referred to MFM for monitoring and she just kept saying "I can't answer that". So you couldn't find out??? Then I asked about getting my flu shot and she said "absolutely not, not until 12 weeks". Okay, that's fine, but the way she said it was ridiculous.

Then she told me that I won't be scheduled for an u/s for 3 weeks. I asked about earlier monitoring, even betas and she completely dismissed me. I don't know what to do. I have NEVER had a bad experience with anyone at this office. Do you think my history warrants being seen earlier or I am just nuts?

Update: I have called and left two messages for the office manager. I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt and thinking she might be out of the office. I will wait till Monday to call again. I spoke to a physician's assistant about my immediate concerns of the u/s not being soon enough. I have seen her in the office for multiple visits and trust her judgement. She wants me to wait until the u/s that I have scheduled, just to watch for any spotting, etc.

LaRomana09 · October 2014

I'm sorry you had such a bad experience. I would call and ask to speak to someone else about getting betas, and I would also speak to a doctor about the flu shot question because I don't trust that nurse's response. My doctor told me it is fine to get the flu shot at any time during pregnancy, and with it already being flu season, I wouldn't want to wait another 2 months for a flu shot.

E&B0811 · October 2014

I'd call the office immediately. Ask to speak to either the person in charge of the nurses, your ob or the office manager. Each ob has different practices so it's hard to say what is "normal". That said, if you aren't comfortable with the way you are being cared for - particularly in light of this rude nurse - it's 100% appropriate to raise it.

rox825 · October 2014

I'd also call back and leave a message requesting a call back from a dr, and request monitoring from them. I don't think it's unreasonable at all. Sorry you had a bad experience.

Mel&John2013 · October 2014

That experience seems strange and I definitely wouldn't be ok with it. I'd call back and make an appointment to sit down with the doctor. That way the doctor can answer your questions, and you can let them know there was an issue with one of the nurses.

KikiCohen · October 2014

I called and left a message with the office manager. Thanks for the support! I'll let you know what I find out.

carlsonbaby2014 · October 2014

E&B0811 said:

I'd call the office immediately. Ask to speak to either the person in charge of the nurses, your ob or the office manager. Each ob has different practices so it's hard to say what is "normal". That said, if you aren't comfortable with the way you are being cared for - particularly in light of this rude nurse - it's 100% appropriate to raise it.

This 100%.

I'm so sorry you had to deal with such a rude nurse ((((hugs)))). I'm a firm believer in being an advocate for yourself even in midst of people who are supposed to have your back and be supportive with exceptional bedside manner. She obviously fell short and I think the best thing to do is to raise awareness of what happened so that it does not happen again - to you or anyone else. AND it's super important you feel like you've had a thorough appointment and have all your questions answered to your satisfaction - it's what you're paying them for!

BookishMomma · October 2014

I feel like we loss moms should carry a manifesto around that we hand to any medical professionals we deal with. In bold letters at the top it should say, "READ THIS BEFORE SPEAKING."

chicagojackie · October 2014

Loss mom or not that nurse shouldn't have talked to ANYONE that way. Patients that have concerns should be brought to the doctor or to an APN or to someone else NOT stonewalled or crapped on by some nurse. I'm sure your doctor would not be happy that you were unhappy and probably has no idea.

Let us know what the practice manager says. Hang in there. Stick up for yourself and your baby.

Mom2anAngel2 · October 2014

How obnoxious! I'm sorry you had a bad appointment. My office won't do flu shots until 2nd tri either.

I would call and ask to speak to the doctor about early monitoring and possible MFM referral. I would explain that bases on loss history you would just like done reassurance that everything is being addressed.

Mom2anAngel2 · October 2014

How obnoxious! I'm sorry you had a bad appointment. My office won't do flu shots until 2nd tri either.

I would call and ask to speak to the doctor about early monitoring and possible MFM referral. I would explain that bases on loss history you would just like done reassurance that everything is being addressed.

Mom2anAngel2 · October 2014

How obnoxious! I'm sorry you had a bad appointment. My office won't do flu shots until 2nd tri either.

I would call and ask to speak to the doctor about early monitoring and possible MFM referral. I would explain that bases on loss history you would just like done reassurance that everything is being addressed.

jesswein9 · October 2014

Sorry about your experience. That is not ok for anyone to be treated that way. I'm shocked by the nurses recommendation on waiting for 12 weeks for a flu shot. I work in a hospital and they highly encourage pregnant women to get the flu shot as soon as they can.

luciddreamer106 · October 2014

I'm sorry that you had such a bad experience and I'm glad you called. She sounds like a real jerk and shouldn't be talking to anyone like that. Update us and let us know when you hear back.

NoeliaV · October 2014

My short answer is no, that does not seem right to me.

I'm sorry for the way you were treated and I hope you get a respectable response.

beemaya83 · October 2014

What a biatch!!!!! That's weird, my doc said I can take the flu shot anytime and I'm only 5w6days. Seriously, talk to your doctor about all your concerns!

chicagojackie · October 2014

Also: info about the flu vaccine in pregnant women

https://www.cdc.gov/flu/protect/vaccine/qa_vacpregnant.htm

I think the reason some docs wait until 2nd tri is so that your passive immunity to the baby lasts for the whole six months after it is born--so that your child is old enough to be vaccinated vs. flu (must be six months to start the pediatric two-series vs. flu). That is just a guess though based on logistics.

misternmiss · October 2014

I'm so sorry you had such a bad experience. I'm glad you called and am eager to hear what kind of response you get.
I also agree with @carlsonbaby2014‌ that it is so important to be your own advocate. If you don't like the care your being given, if you're not getting the answers you need, speak up!