Big Changes or No Changes

It seems like for the past four years, we have had nothing but roadblocks. Now, the first real opportunity is presenting itself. I am trying not to get me hopes up, but at the same time to make sure we are prepared for this change if it comes. We have found, through the provincial foster system, a sibling group of three who are ready to be adopted. We have put our name in to get more information and see if they approve us as a match, but I haven't heard anything yet. 

As I am sure you are all keenly aware, adopting three kids all at once is going to be a BIG DEAL. What advice would you have for me (if this does work out)? Since they are older (7,5,2) what special considerations would they need? I don't want to "make" them call us Mom and Dad, but I want them to know that they can. What would you say to them about that so that you aren't putting any pressure on them? Any other tricky situations that you can forsee?

Re: Big Changes or No Changes

  • I think you are starting out with the right flexible.  For all the information you get about these kiddos and their histories, you'll just need to roll with the punches.  One day they may be stand-offish with you and the other completely affectionate/ attentive.  They are going to be going through a wide-range of emotions that most adults can't cope with.  They may try to test you with horrible behaviors trying to see if you'll stick with them.  They are just trying to protect themselves.

    The love you get though will be immeasurable!!  GL!


  • We are working out the sleeping/space arrangements now, but that's a little tricky because we don't know for sure if it will happen. We have two or three options that we could use, with varying degrees of expense and hassle. But, we do have the finances and resources to pull all of them off with minimal risk.

    I am very pleased with the statistics that show that sibling groups have an easier time adjusting, simply because they have each other for comfort and support. But I also want to make sure I am not letting myself rely on statistics alone.
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  • I have had students in foster/ foster to adopt situations and they called their adoptive/foster parents Mama and Papa or Mama (First name) and Papa (First Name)... In one of the situations, it evolved to Mom and Dad.

    Hope This Helps. Good luck!


    "Even miracles take a little time"

  • Wow, this is a very big deal! I hope that these kids are able to find their way to you if you're meant to be their parents! My heart breaks for them just thinking what they must have gone through, and I can't imagine the blessing that you'd be to them. I'm guessing that your province provides some resources to help you all acclimate? I know I sound like a broken record, but individual and family counseling pops into my mind immediately.
    Birthmom to A, 1/8- the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

    A Journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. -Lao-Tzu

  • I am going to be asking about resources when we go in to meet with the social worker, and we will definitely be using any and all resources that they will give us. We want to make sure that if we get to do this, that we do it properly.
    CarolinaGirl2014[Deleted User]irismorning[Deleted User]
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