Intro **living child mentioned**

ChanelA

I guess its time to introduce myself, I've been lurking for the past week and was question whether I should introduce myself solely because me and husband don't really know where we stand when it comes to TTC.

I'm 24 and DH is 29 we have an almost 5 year old DD, I removed my mirena in July and got my BFP at the beginning of September. At our first appointment I was suppose to be 7weeks and 4 days, all that was seen was a yolk sac. The PA told me not to worry that everything looked fine but deep down I knew it wasn't. Fast forward 8 days later and their was no change. My doctor diagnosed me with a blighted ovum and I had my D&C the following week. Right before my D&C I had an ultrasound that showed the same thing. This has been extremely hard on me and my marriage, I am devastated and feel like DH isn't sad enough (I guess this is his way of coping). So now I find myself here and trying to find ways to move forward, DH doesn't want to try again till at least August, I'm so bitter and practically angry all the time. My SIL is doing her IVF transfer this week and although I'm so happy for her she hasn't showed any empathy what so ever. All she does is talk about how "she will be pregnant next week" honestly I want to crawl under a rock! I'm so angry that it seems like everyone else is due in May 2015 and now I'm sad that I might not be trying for another 10 months....

Anyone waiting a year to TTC again? I guess I am TTA for now....

ChanelA

ktlovess said:

Welcome and sorry for your loss. I had a loss in August of 2013 and we are still TTA since we are not on the same page. To be honest, part of the reason is because my husband is still grieving and is sad... He avoids the topic like the plague. It is possible that your husband is upset, and his way to deal with it is to put of thinking about it for a year. With my husband, he was so busy keeping me together that he didn't have time to be sad immediately after our loss.
You are still grieving as well. I also thought that I would be better if we just jumped right back to TTC. But, since we didn't, and although it sucks, I can see now that i was is no way ready. I still don't know if I am. I honestly don't know if my husband and I ever will be.
Give yourself time. ((Hugs)) and I'm sorry for your loss.

Thank you! I guess its good to know that this is normal, I find myself debating whether I'm ready or should wait. Some mornings I'm okay with waiting and other mornings I feel like the only way to feel better is to try right away. I hope this gets better...

ctk181

Welcome. I'm so sorry for your loss.

rslh10

I'm so sorry for your loss. Welcome to the board. I really think @ktlovess gave you some really great advice. Take all the time you (or your DH) need, and take care of yourself.  ((hugs))

ChanelA

Thank you ladies, its good to find comfort in this group. Btw all these hilarious siggies are really brightening up my morning lol )

ChanelA

Thank you, I really have to try this approach. Sometimes I feel like I set myself up TTC knowing this whole outcome was possible. I hope she is understanding but if not I will just keep my distance until I come to terms with my loss... 

ChanelA

ashtog said:

oops- I forgot to add that I run  a checkin posted every tuesday am for anyone who had an edd or loss in May. we would love to have you if you feel like checking it out. {{hugs}}

Thank you so much, I definitely will be checking it out.

welly01

I'm so sorry for your loss.  I can totally understand being upset about how your DH is feeling.  My DH didn't really seem upset at all and kept saying things like there's nothing we could have done and its for the best.  We really haven't had a deep, meaningful conversation about it.  However, he's told three different male friends/family members about it, so I think he is upset about it he just can't put it into words with me.

No advice really, just wanted to welcome you and share your frustration.

Cheetara2

Sorry for your loss. Welcome!

[Deleted User]

Welcome to the board. ((hugs)) I'm so sorry for your loss. 

LittleMrsW

I"m sorry for your loss, welcome to the board.

FutureMrsWright2012

Sorry for your loss, but welcome to the board. In my case, we're putting off TTC until the spring/summer at the earliest, but that's primarily because we're OOP for IVF.

alm288

I'm very sorry for your loss. I hope you find the support you are looking for here. Welcome