Crying at night, no matter what

1sttimemomma2013

We nap during the day, we cry at bedtime. We don't nap, we cry at bedtime. We try earlier, later, we cry at bedtime. We try a routine and no routine. We cry at bedtime. Not just cry, we wail! I'm open to suggestions...

Edit: I should mention this has nothing to do with trying to transition her into a crib. She literally starts crying once she realizes it's bedtime.

KBowen715

Teeth. Thereacommin'.

1sttimemomma2013

I guess I should have clarified, it's just at the beginning of bedtime. Almost like she's overtired but not sure?

spinsoffresonance

So does she cry a couple minutes and Puts herself To sleep or she just keeps crying and crying and crying?

Some kids need to cry to release tension in order to be able to fall asleep. This explains it well
https://askmoxie.org/blog/2006/06/babies_and_cio.html

1sttimemomma2013

Sometimes it's up to 30 minutes. Nothing I do can soothe her. She won't even nurse during this time.

1sttimemomma2013

I should also mention we do not do cry it out. Basically no matter what order we do night time routine, she starts to realize that it's night time and that we will be going to sleep soon. She still sleeps in our room, btw.

lavendergiraffes

Mine fights sleep like no other - has since she was born. Sometimes it's easier and she doesn't fight as much but mostly she fights. It doesn't matter if she is over/under tired or right on time. She wants to be awake and exploring even if she is fussy cause she's tired. No advice but I feel you. I'm sick of fighting her.

And I'm with you, I don't cry it out. I have a feeling with her it would escalate into screaming hysterics that we would take forever to come back from so it's just not happening.

Gigglefest

Feeling your pain. Our guy has cried up to two hours at a time if he is left to CIO, and that is insane/ not going to work. It literally rings in my head. At bed time, an hour of soothing will give us sometimes no more than 20 mins of rest, which us also not a great ROI. So I hold him from 7-11while DH studies. Put him down, cries about 30 min. Back up from 1-3 when DH holds him and they sleep. I hold fom 4-6, then we are uo for the day. We do the same exact bedtime routine every night, but it doesn't work anymore, and we end up holding him. No matter if naps were taken or not. As soon as we put him in the crib, he is back up. I am not back at work yet so we can deal, but i am sooooooooo worried about when I return! So I feel your pain, and will watch this thread for any help people can offer us.

QOTR

We went through a couple weeks of that, but the screaming would last up to two hours. It often ended up with me laying on the floor nursing him to sleep out of desperation and exhaustion on both our parts. It finally occurred to me to cut straight to the end and we've been peacefully nursing to sleep each night now. I make sure he's in a deep sleep and move him to his crib. I know I'm probably creating a nasty habit but I was desperate for him to get the sleep he needs and I can't say I miss the hours of crying.

Gigglefest

@QOTR‌: we nurse to sleep as well. I wait until at least 20 mins past when he unlatches to try to move, but as soon as he his the crib he is up. I feel like I have tried everything : different holding positions, moving to flat on my lap, putting butt down first then head, long pauses in between each movement, no pauses etc/lol/kill me please! Any specific tips from transitioning from arms to crib?

ns1

@gigglefest when I put DS down asleep, the one thing I found pretty effective for keeping him asleep during the transition from my arms was to place my hand firmly on his chest once he was in the crib. I would gradually lift my hand or apply more pressure as needed until my hand was no longer on him and I could to the stealthy ninja escape. Good luck.

thefussybunch

lavendergiraffes said:

Mine fights sleep like no other - has since she was born. Sometimes it's easier and she doesn't fight as much but mostly she fights. It doesn't matter if she is over/under tired or right on time. She wants to be awake and exploring even if she is fussy cause she's tired. No advice but I feel you. I'm sick of fighting her.

And I'm with you, I don't cry it out. I have a feeling with her it would escalate into screaming hysterics that we would take forever to come back from so it's just not happening.

This is us exactly. Once the clock strikes 7p, DD starts her fussing. She is 5mos, but has done this since birth. I have absolutely no "me time" at night at all. DD fusses from about 7p-9ish every night and still wakes every two hours at night to nurse. I'm exhausted. You're definitely not alone in this!

1sttimemomma2013

Typical night:
Nurse, play, nurse, books, nurse, bath. Right after bath once we start getting pjs on... Crying starts. She will not nurse, rocking doesn't seem to help, singing does not seem to help. So she cries then sometimes she'll nurse to sleep, othe times she falls asleep. She's not crying when I'm trying to put her down.
Also, I have tried varying the schedule above.
I thought she was cold after bath but nope. I thought maybe we should skip the bath, still same result. I've tried different pjs. I've tried getting dressed different places, still the same. Once she's asleep I do hold her for a while because I'm not ready to go to bed at 630-730 at night. Then around 900 we go to bed. I do hold her for all her naps though, she will not sleep anywhere else for them.

Junebug060609

ns1 said:

@gigglefest when I put DS down asleep, the one thing I found pretty effective for keeping him asleep during the transition from my arms was to place my hand firmly on his chest once he was in the crib. I would gradually lift my hand or apply more pressure as needed until my hand was no longer on him and I could to the stealthy ninja escape. Good luck.

This. Also flannel sheets. Sometimes the cool cotton wakes them. The hand thing is like magic though. Sometimes a firm hand on the chest and one on the pelvis (my girl likes to kick herself awake) and they stay down.

KBowen715

lavendergiraffes said:

Mine fights sleep like no other - has since she was born. Sometimes it's easier and she doesn't fight as much but mostly she fights. It doesn't matter if she is over/under tired or right on time. She wants to be awake and exploring even if she is fussy cause she's tired. No advice but I feel you. I'm sick of fighting her.

And I'm with you, I don't cry it out. I have a feeling with her it would escalate into screaming hysterics that we would take forever to come back from so it's just not happening.

This was my oldest. When I eventually let him CIO, it turned into a 15 hour screaming freenzy. He never trusted me when I laid him down after that. I'm fine with CIO, but I believe it depends largely on the child.

QOTR

@gigglefest, I agree with others that a hand on the chest after transition seems to help.   I've also recently discovered that my hand on his cheek is some type of magic calming device.   I use the heel of my hand to hold the pacifier in his mouth and wrap my fingers around his cheek and he settles right down.  

For MOTN feedings, I still use a breastfeeding pillow and he'll almost always go back to the crib.   But for naps and getting him down for the first sleep of the night, I've been nursing in side-lying position on the floor.   Since he's not "in my arms", it's easier to slip away from him.   Another tip I've read, but not tried is to warm the crib with warm towels or a warm rice sack to ease the transition from your warm body to the cold crib. 

hbird0723

@Gigglefest‌ I have found that laying her in the crib on her side just like I was holding her and bouncing the bed a little with my hand has helped a lot.

She has started really fighting me way ore than before on sleep as well but I've found that exactly 2 hours is our magic number. I know you said it doesn't seem to matter though. Do you give a bath? I have found that a bath every night has helped settle her and massage with lotion. When she does just scream no matter what I usually just lay her in the crib and say goodnight and walk out for 5 or 10 minutes mostly to collect myself then I try again and usually she will then go to sleep it's almost like she thinks I'd rather go to sleep this way than on my own.

Edit: just saw you do give a bath. Hmm maybe the massage?

hbird0723

@Gigglefest‌ Oh also at night I've found she goes into a deep sleep faster than during the day then into a light sleep so I actually have too be quicker putting her down. Have you noticed that with your LO?

hbird0723

@thefussybunch‌ I read about this because ours used to do this from 6-8 and I finally started throwing her in the bath right at 6 or a little before and then the rest if our routine and it stopped that fussy period I also read that starting the routine an hour before that period and having them sleeping before it starts has worked on some babies as well. I'm sure you've tried all that but just thought is mention it.

1sttimemomma2013

I have tried a lot of variation but it just seems she knows it's bedtime and doesn't want it to start maybe? I just didn't know if I was alone in this crying business. I started giving her a bath at 530 in the afternoon and she still started crying the minute we put on the diaper. Thankfully when we took her to play it stopped but I just can't figure this girl out!

spinsoffresonance

DD1 went through a similar phase at this age. Never wanted to go to bed, didn't want to miss any excitement. What worked for us was doing 30min of quiet time before starting the bedtime routine. We dimmed all the lights, put away all the noise making toys and stopped roughhousing. Basically make the hour leading up to bedtime as uninteresting as possible so LO doesn't feel like she's missing out in anything by going to sleep. We also implemented a very consistent bedtime routine. You have to stick to a new routine for at least one week before seeing results but it worked great for us after that.

thefussybunch

Hbird05 said:

@thefussybunch‌ I read about this because ours used to do this from 6-8 and I finally started throwing her in the bath right at 6 or a little before and then the rest if our routine and it stopped that fussy period I also read that starting the routine an hour before that period and having them sleeping before it starts has worked on some babies as well. I'm sure you've tried all that but just thought is mention it.

Thank you @Hbird05! I usually give her a bath at 6:30p, but now I will try to Make it earlier and see if that helps. Totally worth a shot! I really appreciate it!

hbird0723

@thefussybunch‌ I hope it works for you! Let me know how it goes!

haylo33

We struggle with naps and moving him into his crib. At night, he usually stays asleep. During the day, we have been putting him down on his side and have better luck. Baby won't nap long no matter what we do. I wonder if flannel sheets would help as someone stated above. :-?

NorthernGal248

Whenever L starts freaking out about bedtime I turn on this little light that puts stars all over one corner of the room. She ends up staring at and getting drowsy. I also use a noise maker, but it's usually to help keep her asleep while we are still doing things in the house. Good luck!

Gigglefest

Thank you, ladies! Little guy must have read my post, lol, because tonight he went down perfectly and has not budged since 6:50. Going to try all your suggestions though!