I'm really trying not to be bitter

O2girl

really I am trying. I know we have a TP thread, but I'm not really wanting to TP anyone. I am just really noticing that I'm becoming the bitter person I try not to be......

So here's the scoop.... PG mentioned.....not mine

I closed my FB account after my first loss because I was tired of dealing with stupid bullshit everytime I logged in (baby announcements, etcetera). I did keep my Instagram because really the only people I have on it are super close to me and not having babies. Fuck me if I didn't make the mistake of adding my friend from my early twenties this morning because well, I love the guy. I felt it was absolutely not going to bite me in the ass.....wrong. He posted a pic of a baby nursery this afternoon tagged "baby's room nearly done." I haven't talked to the guy in a year and this is what I see in a passive post on Instagram?

Ugh!!!!! Why does the world hate me? Why does my body hate me? Stupid uterus! I need a new one.

Sorry ladies...... I'm a disaster lately....I wish I had something positive to share... I'm just fresh out of positive thoughts and am being super needy. Bad bumpie right here.

MyFirstRaspberry

Can I be angry with you? I hope he used ugly ass colors for the room or a stupid theme so you can secretly make fun of him.

O2girl

MyFirstRaspberry said:

Can I be angry with you? I hope he used ugly ass colors for the room or a stupid theme so you can secretly make fun of him.

The colors are AWFUL and the design is cheesy...... That did make me giggle for a second. I have plenty of room on my bitter island ........ And I have vodka so you are welcome to get your tan and drink on with me

O2girl

furrypaws said:

Oh hun. I'm sorry. I actually had to unfollow some people on Instagram. I have also had to not accept some people wanting to follow me.

I also closed my FB. Too much happy bullshit.

I want to jump through the interwebs and give you a BIG SQUISHY HUG!!!

Xoxo

I will take the hugs for sure!! Xo

MSU_Girl1202

I'm so sorry hun. Life sucks right now. That's just a fact. I will definitely join you in the bitter-ness. Everywhere I look, people are either having babies, talking about their babies or posting pictures of their babies. It just feels like your heart is being wrung out every time you see it.
Sending big ((hugs)) your way and lots of empathy. I totally know where you're coming from. I wish I had something positive or uplifting to say, but I've also been in the bitterness hole lately.

O2girl

@furrypaws‌
Come to bitter island!!! And I LOVE lemons!!!! We can make lemon drops and lemon bars! And lemon meringue pie...... And lemon cake..... Mmmmmmm

O2girl

MSU_Girl1202 said:

I'm so sorry hun. Life sucks right now. That's just a fact. I will definitely join you in the bitter-ness. Everywhere I look, people are either having babies, talking about their babies or posting pictures of their babies. It just feels like your heart is being wrung out every time you see it.
Sending big ((hugs)) your way and lots of empathy. I totally know where you're coming from. I wish I had something positive or uplifting to say, but I've also been in the bitterness hole lately.

Big (((((hugs))))) lovey. Xoxo

PinkCamino

What do you mean by passive post?

ctk181

I'm sorry! I know exactly how you feel. I feel like I've had nothing but baby and pregnancy announcements on my FB feed since my loss. I've banned myself from logging on for a while for the sake of my mental health. Luckily I never had Instagram so I don't have that to deal with. Big ((hugs)) to you!

rslh10

So many ((hugs)). I'm sorry you're feeling bitter. More ((hugs)) for the hell of it!

O2girl

PinkCamino said:

What do you mean by passive post?

I just mean that it wasn't done with intentions to cause pain. I may have used the wrong word; however I only meant that the post wasn't malicious

O2girl

HoldingOutHope said:

Big (((hugs))). I belong on Bitter Island with you as well. I'm packing my bags now, and will bring massive quantities of my homemade limoncello, which will satisfy the vodka and lemon cravings.

Holy moly LIMONCELLO...... Mmmmmmmmmmm did I mention I you? Ya I did earlier!

O2girl

VesperLynch said:

Ugh. I'm sorry you got blindsided like that. And I'm glad that the colors are awful. I hope you feel better soon for your sake, but you have my full support in feeling as bitter as needed in the meantime. Weird internet (((hugs))) from here as well.

Mmm, lemon....lemon pound cake. And a nice fresh squeeze of lemon into my Side Car!

Bring the lemon pound cake!

meredithcarole

Sorry O2girl Life just sucks sometimes. (((Hugs)))

daystardreams

I'm right in the same boat with you today. I unfriended anyone with children or that were pregnant that I didn't sincerely care about yet my friends and family keep me updated on the things they see announced on facebook all the time and I just want to scream! I understand and it sucks. (((hugs)))

O2girl

rslh10 said:

So many ((hugs)). I'm sorry you're feeling bitter. More ((hugs)) for the hell of it!

And I will take more hugs for the hell of it! Ooooh hug fest!!!!

O2girl

daystardreams said:

I'm right in the same boat with you today. I unfriended anyone with children or that were pregnant that I didn't sincerely care about yet my friends and family keep me updated on the things they see announced on facebook all the time and I just want to scream! I understand and it sucks. (((hugs)))

Man! I would TP anyone who updated me on baby crap on any social media I wasn't on because of this shit! (((((Hugs))))) to you for having to deal with that!!

liznj2775

Yes! I am so happy I am not the only one. I have cut off Facebook viewing since my June MC. Everybody seems to have these perfect lives with beautiful children and adoring spouses going on fantastic vacations, etc. Only recently have I crept back on FB, just in time to see one of my really good friends announce the sex of their upcoming baby. Ugh. I feel like such a miserable bitter negative nasty biatch, but ugh, I can't help it! I have 'unfollowed' half of my friends already. I can't unfollow any more!

FutureMrsWright2012

No reason to feel bad at all....I am right there with you... I work with kids, and I am daily faced with the fact that there are some pretty terrible people out there with children... yet my H and I who have our shit together can't seem to get this thing figured out that so many people seem to take for advantage. I'm about ready to delete FB, but so far I'm just "unfollowing" anyone with kids that feel the need to post every 5 minutes about how difficult their life is with children. Because we have received so much support from family and friends on FB, it would be hard to delete it altogether. 

I'm glad to hear that you were able to get a laugh out of your friend's nursery decorating at least. I'm not on Instagram, but is there a way to "unfollow" people? This way, you're still friends with him but can look at his pics on your terms?

O2girl

FutureMrsWright2012 said:

No reason to feel bad at all....I am right there with you... I work with kids, and I am daily faced with the fact that there are some pretty terrible people out there with children... yet my H and I who have our shit together can't seem to get this thing figured out that so many people seem to take for advantage. I'm about ready to delete FB, but so far I'm just "unfollowing" anyone with kids that feel the need to post every 5 minutes about how difficult their life is with children. Because we have received so much support from family and friends on FB, it would be hard to delete it altogether. 

I'm glad to hear that you were able to get a laugh out of your friend's nursery decorating at least. I'm not on Instagram, but is there a way to "unfollow" people? This way, you're still friends with him but can look at his pics on your terms?

Sadly I just started following him today when he requested....... Total blindside. Grrrrr. The last we spoke I was going to be doing another transfer and he was so excited for us....... He literally has zero idea that we lost that pregnancy. I just don't want him to know it hurts to see his excitement. I do know now that after my losses I will never post on social media about any success I may have with procreation because I wouldn't want to inadvertently cause this pain. Just another thing loss and IF has stolen from me

O2girl

liznj2775 said:

Yes! I am so happy I am not the only one. I have cut off Facebook viewing since my June MC. Everybody seems to have these perfect lives with beautiful children and adoring spouses going on fantastic vacations, etc. Only recently have I crept back on FB, just in time to see one of my really good friends announce the sex of their upcoming baby. Ugh. I feel like such a miserable bitter negative nasty biatch, but ugh, I can't help it! I have 'unfollowed' half of my friends already. I can't unfollow any more!

((((Hugs)))) come to bitter island and drink limoncello with us

O2girl

crimpgirl said:

so sorry you had to see that when you were trying so hard to avoid it

Sending you hugs

Can I join in on bitter island too? I have a citrus allergy so more lemon for the rest of you!!!

Of course! We have plain vodka for you!! Drink up

FutureMrsWright2012

@O2girl... Hugs to you and sorry about the blindside and stupid f'ing IF... It really really really sucks.

O2girl

ashtog said:

((Hugs)) to you sweetheart, I'm sorry you were caught off guard with that one. Can I join bitter island? I'll bring brownies and spiced rum

Gah!!!! Brownies and spiced rum..... Yum!

LittleMrsW

Huge ((Hugs)) to you!
I'm on the next flight out to bitter island. I'm sneaking apple pie moonshine on, don't tell...

O2girl

LittleMrsW said:

Huge ((Hugs)) to you!
I'm on the next flight out to bitter island. I'm sneaking apple pie moonshine on, don't tell...

I know nothing! Get your ass out here

O2girl

Bitter island-- it's a lovely place

jjbmstinco

Oh sweetie.  I don't blame you one bit for not being positive.  ((hugs)) I know it isn't much right now but we are here to support you!  I hate that you have to go through this!!

natalie115

(((Hugs)))

alm288

I'm sorry that you got blindsided. (((Hugs))) This journey has not changed me for the better. It's definitely made me more jealous and bitter. I'll bring sunshine and margaritas!

flyoffeve

I am sorry that you got blindsided. It sucks. I have been right there as well lately, biting heads off of people I work with. They complain about stupid stuff and I just can't hear it. Definitely bitter here.

Never joined any social site. But, I can't even look at the news without seeing what we don't want to see.

Can I bring Sprite just in case anyone needs a stomach settler?

O2girl

wickedsugar said:

Been there, done that, wrote the book. ((Hugs))

Sorry sweetie. ((((Hugs))))

O2girl

PowerOfBacon said:

I'd love to join you on the island party, what can I bring?  I made awesome apple cider sangria this weekend?

 

In all seriousness though, I read a post a couple of weeks ago, and it really just goes right to the heart of some of the feelings I've been having and I think lots of people are having.  Warning, loss mentioned in the post.

https://www.blogher.com/i-cant-share-your-joy

 

(crossing my fingers that the link shows up, for some reason I'm having a bitch of time posting links).

Thanks for sharing the link.
And apple sangria sounds super yummy!!

dawnstar898

May I hang out on bitter island too?  I know exactly how you feel!  If I see one more photo on Facebook of a uterus with a little peanut floating around in it I'm going to throw my computer.  It sucks, some of these people I am somewhat friends with and do care about, but when I see a post like that my first reaction (in my head)  is ugh, fuck you!  It's horrible, but it is what it is.  Obviously my anger is me not having had a baby yet, and I know deep down in my emotions somewhere I am happy for these people.  If it's someone I truly do care for, I quickly like the post then block it from my timeline.  I am literally the last person I know who has not had a kid yet (probably not true)    Big huge (((hugs))) all around
Ok someone pass me the limoncello!

Rocks526

Can I join bitter island?  Sorry that you got blindsided.  Not only have I had FB announcements, friends have posted pics of the maternity section of a department store.  When I see pictures and announcements I just try hide the post, it still sucks seeing it.  Take all the time you need on bitter island.  (((Hugs)))

TheAerialist

Looks like I missed the boat to bitter island today, but it's ok, I swam there by myself already, set up a tiki hut and started brewing my own rum. I hide anyone with a pregnancy or a "gender" (sex) announcement. Previously born babies are ok in my book, but I don't need your weekly belly pics or your ultrasounds TYVM.

O2girl

Everyone on this thread made me feel so much better! You are all AWESOME! Thank you for sharing your thoughts, showing me I'm not alone, making me feel sane, and making a difficult situation much more bearable! Xoxo

dawnstar898

McSarah1104 said:

Looks like I missed the boat to bitter island today, but it's ok, I swam there by myself already, set up a tiki hut and started brewing my own rum. I hide anyone with a pregnancy or a "gender" (sex) announcement. Previously born babies are ok in my book, but I don't need your weekly belly pics or your ultrasounds TYVM.

Yes!

ashlee113085

((hugs)) I know how that feels. Can I join you on bitter island? I have about 10 fb friends now due to the whole baby boom that seems to happen when you're least expecting it. I have unfriended almost everyone. I can bring blankets, cupcakes (because I'm obsessed), and pumpkin ale!