Meal Time

bossmom11

So I noticed this was a semi common theme on the "Grind Your Gears" board and thought to expand.

Does your DH/SO love your home cooking, care that you cook, love to eat out, etc? Do you eat together as a family or not so much? 

Right now I waiting for DH to finish a game on his computer. I told him almost an hour ago that his favorite dinner would be done in 20 minutes. It is not like I just ordered pizza or threw a frozen meal into the skillet, shepherds pie takes some effort and he is still playing his computer game. Am I overreacting or is this rude? I wanted to have a nice family dinner before we put LO down and he doesn't care. Playing his computer game is more important because if he quits mid game he gets points taken off or smthg. I made a comment about how he should have picked a shorter game or not started another and he snapped at me about not being able to go back in time.

Anyway vent over...

krose0713

We eat together every night ( when we are both home). We order in or go out once or twice on the weekends usually. DH has never not come to the table when dinner wAs ready, and I would be really angry if the reason he didn't was a game. I cook most often bc I get home from work earlier, but he usually helps or finishes up when he gets home. I was pretty shocked by the story of the DH asking to order in after dinner had been made for him. I can't even picture someone being so rude.

Burrberrymum

The only time we ever eat together is on his days off which is once or twice a week. Otherwise he's gone by the time we wake up and home around 9-10pm. He doesn't eat anything I make for the most part.. But if I made his favorite meal after him asking for it I would be really upset if an hour went by and he still wasn't done his game.

He prefers to order food, even after I cooked a nice meal. I hate it.

Eta: On his days off when we do eat together it's usually fast food or take out. He works in a kitchen so he rarely wants to cook when he's home and always wants something quick.

VitaLuna

I would not be able to tolerate a H that played computer/video games that interfered with our life. That computer would be at the bottom of the ravine behind our house along with his serving of dinner if H did that to me.

On nights when we're both home, we eat together. We do need to get better about sitting down to eat. E always eats what I make. Sometimes if he doesn't like it, he'll eat a little and then eat something else like a sandwich later in the evening.,

jlp0528

DH is like @fiveohfive‌ 's. He's the cook and likes to be in charge in the kitchen. He travels a lot throughout the year but when he's home he will cook usually and I help, unless I plan and prep something new. We all eat together.

I would be annoyed as heck if that was my h at dinner time. That's some of the only time we all get together!

Tally879

H and I eat together every night, with me either cooking or picking something up on the way home.  Occassionally H will be playing video games or something and I'll just bring his plate down to him and catch up on the tv shows I like.  It's only once or twice a month so it doesn't bother me.  I enjoy a little alone time every once in awhile.  But I rarely make any meal thats impressive, most of the time dinner takes about a 1/2 hour and isn't inventive.  But H likes my cooking.

Af1004

DH likes my cooking pretty well. Sometimes he'll comment about something needing more seasoning or being over cooked. He doesn't play video games but sometimes he'll tell me to get dinner going then when it's ready he's suddenly busy and I have to put it on hold but it's always something that has to be done not playing. We often eat dinner in front of the tv though instead of at the table.

michelle7482

We eat dinner every night together. He's always home before 6. He does like my cooking a lot. I do a combo of full home cooked meals and also quick meals during the week and he always eats what I make. If he didn't eat what I make there is no way in hell I would be cooking half of the meals that I cook

RedDDD

We eat together every night....BUT having said that, it usually means who ever picked kids up from DC is getting some sort of toddler type meal together for the kids to eat and then DH and I fix our own meals (thats a lazy night) or that person is cooking a meal that we all eat but the kids eat at 5:30 and then we get out food together and eat.  DD is in her high chair and DS is standing at the coffee table with his plate because he is a grazer and wont sit at a table.  We are in a bad habit of eating in front of the TV but with two toddlers its such a shit show Im just glad everyone eats something!

michelle7482

@RedDDD‌ don't feel bad your house sounds exactly like my house!

ajaan113

DH cooks. He cooks dinner 3 - 4 times a week. We eat leftovers. He'll even cook breakfast on weekends. DH likes to cook. One night we usually get take out. I can cook. Okay I can follow a recipe. However when I cook I don't care if the food has any taste or not. I do like to bake. I like make desserts.

Jupiter62

I would be irate. He can't eat because his face in buried in a video game?? I would have thrown his dinner out the window. When he finally shuts his computer off, "I tossed your food in the bushes. Sorry, I can't go back in time."

bossmom11

pigtailsandpinafores said:

We always try to eat dinner together. DH is super picky about liking his food prepared a certain way, and it changes from day to day depnding on his mood. After many fights, I finally told him that he needed to be appreciative of my cooking, or make it himself. Now he does the majority of the cooking and we are both happy. DH is also a gamer, so that is also a repetitive fight in our marriage. There have been many times that I have told him we need to leave at a certain time, or dinner will be ready at a certain time, or guests will be arriving at a certain time, and then he tries to pull the whole "I though it would only take 10 minutes, not an hour, and I can't just stop because my friends are depending on me." My first tip is to calmly talk about it and let him know how you feel. I usually tell DH that it is rude to treat anyone that way, and that it is hurtful to me when I put a lot of work into something special for him and he doesn't bother to show up on time. He wouldn't treat his friends or his boss that way, as his wife I deserve to be treated better than them, not worse. Being angry, stewing about it, or making passive agressive remarks will only make it worse, talk to him honestly about it. Also, if I expect him to make effort to show up and do something that I think is important and enjoy, it's only fair for me to treat him with the same courtesy. Start playing games with him. Not only will it mean a lot to him but it shows him that you are making the effort to do things that matter to him as well. Plus, then you have insider knowledge when it comes to which games you can walk away from without penalties I only play video games that I can pause or stop at any time in order to meet DD's needs, and I encourage him to play those ones during times when he needs to be done at a specific time.

DH has been a gamer for a long time and in college I did play with him. He did WoW for that time. Then after we graduated it has been Tera and LoL mostly. LoL I have played and got bored/frustrated when I kept getting paired up with bad teammates. Which games do you play?Anyway I agree with everything you said. This is the first time in a while that he has done this so I was completely taken aback. I ended up eating and then working on chores. DH later came and apologized for hurting my feelings. I think you hit the nail on the head with this and thanks for your thoughts!....

"I usually tell DH that it is rude to treat anyone that way, and that it is hurtful to me when I put a lot of work into something special for him and he doesn't bother to show up on time. He wouldn't treat his friends or his boss that way, as his wife I deserve to be treated better than them, not worse."

bossmom11

Jupiter62 said:

I would be irate. He can't eat because his face in buried in a video game?? I would have thrown his dinner out the window. When he finally shuts his computer off, "I tossed your food in the bushes. Sorry, I can't go back in time."

Hahahaha! I love it. To be honest I almost sent LO over to accidentally pull the power cord....

bossmom11

pigtailsandpinafores said:

pigtailsandpinafores said:

We always try to eat dinner together. DH is super picky about liking his food prepared a certain way, and it changes from day to day depnding on his mood. After many fights, I finally told him that he needed to be appreciative of my cooking, or make it himself. Now he does the majority of the cooking and we are both happy. DH is also a gamer, so that is also a repetitive fight in our marriage. There have been many times that I have told him we need to leave at a certain time, or dinner will be ready at a certain time, or guests will be arriving at a certain time, and then he tries to pull the whole "I though it would only take 10 minutes, not an hour, and I can't just stop because my friends are depending on me." My first tip is to calmly talk about it and let him know how you feel. I usually tell DH that it is rude to treat anyone that way, and that it is hurtful to me when I put a lot of work into something special for him and he doesn't bother to show up on time. He wouldn't treat his friends or his boss that way, as his wife I deserve to be treated better than them, not worse. Being angry, stewing about it, or making passive agressive remarks will only make it worse, talk to him honestly about it. Also, if I expect him to make effort to show up and do something that I think is important and enjoy, it's only fair for me to treat him with the same courtesy. Start playing games with him. Not only will it mean a lot to him but it shows him that you are making the effort to do things that matter to him as well. Plus, then you have insider knowledge when it comes to which games you can walk away from without penalties I only play video games that I can pause or stop at any time in order to meet DD's needs, and I encourage him to play those ones during times when he needs to be done at a specific time.

DH has been a gamer for a long time and in college I did play with him. He did WoW for that time. Then after we graduated it has been Tera and LoL mostly. LoL I have played and got bored/frustrated when I kept getting paired up with bad teammates. Which games do you play?Anyway I agree with everything you said. This is the first time in a while that he has done this so I was completely taken aback. I ended up eating and then working on chores. DH later came and apologized for hurting my feelings. I think you hit the nail on the head with this and thanks for your thoughts!....

"I usually tell DH that it is rude to treat anyone that way, and that it is hurtful to me when I put a lot of work into something special for him and he doesn't bother to show up on time. He wouldn't treat his friends or his boss that way, as his wife I deserve to be treated better than them, not worse."

WoW and LoL are both games I hate because of the commitment required. Diablo is the first game that DH got for me, I have tried a few others but always go back to it's because it's my favorite. You can play with friends or groups if you want, or you can play alone. I prefer to play alone or with just DH most of the time. You can pause or stop the game at any time and it doesn't hurt you. You can get super involved and it can be quite complex, but it is also structured pretty simply so that a casual player like me can enjoy it and be good at it without having to invest too much time and effort. It's a great game and perfect for a couple like us where DH needs a very complicated and challenging game and I want something simple. I'm glad your DH apologized and it sounds like you handled it well. We have to remember that we love these guys, we chose them to be our life partner and the father of our LO's. Sometimes it just takes a little faith in your relationship to remember that at the end of the day, he loves you and wouldn't intentionally hurt you, even if he screwed up and accidentally did so in a bad moment.

I wish I could get him to switch off LoL but his core group of friends back home that he never gets to see play it so he uses it to hang out with them. I totally get wanting to hang out with friends and he uses it to wind down as well. I think his super busy week and stress caused the "oops" on Sunday. Thanks again and I am going to look into Diablo!

lilqt3929

We always eat dinner together at the table. Before LO we would eat dinner together but not always at the table, sometimes in front of the tv so that we could watch the evening news. Now, its always at the table with LO eating with us but usually she eats something different then us since she's so picky. I typically am the cook in our house now since I am a SAHM but DH has no problem helping if he sees I need a hand or if we're grilling. It's a lot easier for me to plan out what to make and start prepping the meal during naptime so that it is ready shortly after DH gets home from work and he appreciates that since he's usually really hungry when he gets home. I find eating shortly after he gets home is the best since its done and out of the way and DH cant get distracted with anything before dinnertime.

bossmom11

CurlingRocks said:

OP, your DH was definitely rude!  My DH would not hear the end of that from me.  Always trying to work through things together, though, is there a way you could get the best of both worlds, like make the special meal at lunchtime instead of dinner on Sunday, so he can still play games with his friends in the evening or maybe do it another day?

My H loves my cooking and appreciates that I do it.  He does cook sometimes, but he just isn't as into it as I am.  If he wants to do something else during a meal time, he usually talks to me about it in advance, like if the football game he cares most about is on at that time, and he wants to watch it instead of eating at the table.  I usually accommodate him because he doesn't make requests like that often.  Likewise, if I have a special dinner planned, I let him know in advance, so he knows I have high expectations.  I would be so heartbroken if he didn't like my cooking.  Really.  It is one of my favorite things to do, cook and bake, so I would be very sad if it weren't important to him or my kids.

ETA: OP, love your siggy pics!

DH loves my cooking too so it is a good way for me to do something for him. Sundays are usually our free day so I thought his gaming could be worked around after I gave him a heads up. Maybe if I make it a weekly Sunday night is a nice get your butt to the table dinner it would work better. Thanks for the idea!

Thanks I like my siggy pics too

bossmom11

pigtailsandpinafores said:

@soccermom11 my DH is the same, he uses games to wind down after work and also to hang out with his friends. His friends play multiple games, so he can usually be flexible and switch to whichever game he wants to play. If you do try Diablo, feel free to PM me if you want to connect

Okay thanks!!!