Ttc-scared to test

teaghanmarek

I think from an outsiders point of view, that is what it looks like. If you want more people to be involved and like coming here, maybe some of us should think before we speak. There are ways to be honest without being rude. I think you all know that. Weather you are new here or not, this place is meant for everyone. I have seen so many respond to feedback by lashing out, which is not productive or meaningful. From a newbies point of view it was rude. And your response back (not from all of you, but some) was equally as rude. I have been reading posts here for months. And yes I have seen some great things, great answers, great support. But equally harsh things. As for telling you what to do, I'm not. I am simply giving you my observation and letting you know what it looks like from this side. Of course the world is not full of rainbows and butterflies, you have no idea my background or struggles. Maybe because we live in a word of harsh realities, sometimes it is nice to go somewhere and feel that others understand and will support you in your journey. Why is it when someone challenges you, the response consists of name calling and telling that person to leave? How is that at all helpful or supportive?

KingLED

teaghanmarek said:

I think from an outsiders point of view, that is what it looks like. If you want more people to be involved and like coming here, maybe some of us should think before we speak. There are ways to be honest without being rude. I think you all know that. Weather you are new here or not, this place is meant for everyone. I have seen so many respond to feedback by lashing out, which is not productive or meaningful. From a newbies point of view it was rude. And your response back (not from all of you, but some) was equally as rude. I have been reading posts here for months. And yes I have seen some great things, great answers, great support. But equally harsh things. As for telling you what to do, I'm not. I am simply giving you my observation and letting you know what it looks like from this side. Of course the world is not full of rainbows and butterflies, you have no idea my background or struggles. Maybe because we live in a word of harsh realities, sometimes it is nice to go somewhere and feel that others understand and will support you in your journey. Why is it when someone challenges you, the response consists of name calling and telling that person to leave? How is that at all helpful or supportive?

icaughtfire

teaghanmarek said:

Wow, quite honestly I was shocked by the number of rude and disrespectful comments to this girls post. Being new to TTC I thought I would come here to understand the struggle of TTC and be surrounded by people who understood and felt as frustrated as I was. This post does not show support and guidance but lashing out. I think those of you who responded with "dumb question, dumb answer" or "get over it" should take a break. Those replies are not helpful or what the community should be about. Also, referring people to the newbie page is not that helpful either. I have been their multiple times to multiple newbie pages and there are a lot of things to know and learn. How about instead of being sarcastic and mean, we can be supportive an act as a support system; especially to those who have been there before, dreading the not positive result. I thought coming here would be helpful and help raise my spirits but really it was such a downer to read these responses. Why have a site for support, if you are not going to be supportive? 

Best of luck my dear! I hope that it did come back as positive. 

So what exactly would be supportive?

"OP, I know you've taken zero time to learn anything about your body, much less the first post on the board that says READ BEFORE YOU POST. You're also a complete stranger to me, but by golly I sure hope your test is totally positive. I'm sure you're late because you're totally pregnant. Don't worry about taking a test, I know peeing on sticks is SO scary. If you ever had sex at any time, it's completely possible you could be pregnant. Please hang around a few days and we'll discuss all your symptoms to death and squee over the possibilities. We'll build you up until you're ready to face that scary pee stick. YOU CAN DO IT!!!11!!"

Is that more in line with what you were thinking? Because we don't do that here and I can assure you that your little lecture won't change that fact. If you don't agree with the way we act here, by all means see yourself out.

thewickedfairy

teaghanmarek said:

I think from an outsiders point of view, that is what it looks like. If you want more people to be involved and like coming here, maybe some of us should think before we speak. There are ways to be honest without being rude. I think you all know that. Weather you are new here or not, this place is meant for everyone. I have seen so many respond to feedback by lashing out, which is not productive or meaningful. From a newbies point of view it was rude. And your response back (not from all of you, but some) was equally as rude. I have been reading posts here for months. And yes I have seen some great things, great answers, great support. But equally harsh things. As for telling you what to do, I'm not. I am simply giving you my observation and letting you know what it looks like from this side. Of course the world is not full of rainbows and butterflies, you have no idea my background or struggles. Maybe because we live in a word of harsh realities, sometimes it is nice to go somewhere and feel that others understand and will support you in your journey. Why is it when someone challenges you, the response consists of name calling and telling that person to leave? How is that at all helpful or supportive?

Where was there name calling? OP is the one that started calling people assholes.

teaghanmarek

If you do not want to listen then don't. I am not making your eyes read each post.

Isn't that what the community is supposed to be about? Supporting people who are all facing the same struggle? Why would you not care about a new person coming to the board when that is the point of the board in the first place? That is why we come here. New people looking for others who understand and will help support them. It is just a sad thing to see such a great resource being used in a negative way. Whether I am new here or have been here years, why does that matter? I don't know you from Joe Shmoe but I am coming here anyways. I was trying to get you to see that to a newbie who is already frustrated, upset, and scared...coming to a place to talk about it is not easy. I am not sure why you think being overly enthusiastic or positive in any way is what I am talking about but instead holding back on comments like "it was dumb", "you have zero comprehension skills" and "leave" may not be the best response.

As for the insults...Look back at the response to my posts and you will see that I was told I have zero comprehension skills....not to mention the response to leave. And all the immature pictures?

I didn't want this to become a fight, I just wanted you know know that from the outside looking in, it does not make this board look like a safe place to post.

icaughtfire

teaghanmarek said:

If you do not want to listen then don't. I am not making your eyes read each post.

Isn't that what the community is supposed to be about? Supporting people who are all facing the same struggle? Why would you not care about a new person coming to the board when that is the point of the board in the first place? That is why we come here. New people looking for others who understand and will help support them. It is just a sad thing to see such a great resource being used in a negative way. Whether I am new here or have been here years, why does that matter? I don't know you from Joe Shmoe but I am coming here anyways. I was trying to get you to see that to a newbie who is already frustrated, upset, and scared...coming to a place to talk about it is not easy. I am not sure why you think being overly enthusiastic or positive in any way is what I am talking about but instead holding back on comments like "it was dumb", "you have zero comprehension skills" and "leave" may not be the best response.

As for the insults...Look back at the response to my posts and you will see that I was told I have zero comprehension skills....not to mention the response to leave. And all the immature pictures?

I didn't want this to become a fight, I just wanted you know know that from the outside looking in, it does not make this board look like a safe place to post.

Okay, thanks for the info. Bye.

teaghanmarek

I posted because I noticed it is a few of you trying to run the show. It was not always this way and is really sad that the boards have become nothing but your playground. I did not come here at all to stir the pot but look at what I found when I did. Yes, I have been a part of this site for 3 years. I wanted to see if there was a decent person that still posts and there were a few. (look I can make words bold too!) The sad thing is this used to be a place that people could go to for advice and not be criticized. Quite honestly I haven't posted because it isn't a safe place to post. If you didn't care, why do you continue to write back? Obviously I struck a nerve. Why do I post now? Because it drives me crazy to think you can sit behind your computer screen and bash people without batting an eyelash. Like I said, you have GREAT advise when you feel like giving it, and other times some of you can be just plain mean. I have every right to post my opinion just as you do. Maybe I should become more active in my posts on TheBump. I don't think positive feedback hurts at all.

Salsera29

@teaghanmarek you sound a lot like me...when I teach my kindergarten classes. You can chastise people here all day long, but you are not going to change anything. You're not the first person to pull the "can't we all just get along" card and unfortunately you won't be the last. This obviously isn't the board for you so I suggest you stop wasting your time.

Mysh

@teaghanmarek‌ -- Social skills, learn them. They apply online too.

Salsera29

osesecret said:

Salsera29 said:

@teaghanmarek you sound a lot like me...when I teach my kindergarten classes. You can chastise people here all day long, but you are not going to change anything. You're not the first person to pull the "can't we all just get along" card and unfortunately you won't be the last. This obviously isn't the board for you so I suggest you stop wasting your time.

Well she is an elementary school teacher. Teaghan, you need a better username.

Yeah all snark aside, @teaghanmarek you have a very unique name and really should change your user name for security purposes.

virginiaorjohn

teaghanmarek said:

If you do not want to listen then don't. I am not making your eyes read each post.

Isn't that what the community is supposed to be about? Supporting people who are all facing the same struggle? Why would you not care about a new person coming to the board when that is the point of the board in the first place? That is why we come here. New people looking for others who understand and will help support them. It is just a sad thing to see such a great resource being used in a negative way. Whether I am new here or have been here years, why does that matter? I don't know you from Joe Shmoe but I am coming here anyways. I was trying to get you to see that to a newbie who is already frustrated, upset, and scared...coming to a place to talk about it is not easy. I am not sure why you think being overly enthusiastic or positive in any way is what I am talking about but instead holding back on comments like "it was dumb", "you have zero comprehension skills" and "leave" may not be the best response.

As for the insults...Look back at the response to my posts and you will see that I was told I have zero comprehension skills....not to mention the response to leave. And all the immature pictures?

I didn't want this to become a fight, I just wanted you know know that from the outside looking in, it does not make this board look like a safe place to post.

The thing is, this is a great resource and the only people who are using it in a negative way are those who use this forum like their personal Google. If new members took the time to lurk for more than 5 minutes, read a few posts, and skim the newbie blog (which is clearly marked, so don't play that card) then we wouldn't get 99% of the questions we get on a weekly basis that incite our "immature pictures" and "rude comments."

And the members who do lurk and read the blog get nothing but support when they intro, and receive nothing but great advice when they ask questions. So you see, if you lurked for another 3 days -- let alone the 3 years you claim -- you'd understand why we get upset when people don't take the time to educate themselves about this forum, let alone the science behind their bodies and cycles.