The battles you don't choose...

CML11

Ok here's my attempt at starting some conversation lol

We all know the famous saying...choose your battles. So I want to hear the battles you let slide.
My DH insists on buying the ginormous butter that's like 64 ounces (it's just 2 of us mind you) and fill up the smaller container. They both have to be refrigerated so this seems crazy to me, but it's not a battle I choose. Lol

lcwed

DD is determined to rock the socks with sandal look. I Refuse to argue with a screaming toddler and just remind myself toddlers do not wind up on Glamour Magazine's Dos and Don'ts page.

meredithcarole

DH cannot for the life of him remember to take the trash or recycling to the curb so I always end up doing it at midnight when I get home (*side note, this was literally moment that was the straw that broke the camel's back for one of my friends a few years ago.  After having to take the trash out at midnight when she had worked a 13 hour day she came inside and told her H she wanted a divorce).  H has really stepped up his game helping around the house in other ways since my loss so I don't harp about this small thing.

wvarn

My DH wants to leave sorted laundry in the hallway beside the laundry room.  Our laundry room is fair sized and her really has room in there to  keep it.  I usually pick it up and move it back into laundry room.  I am so thankful that he is doing laundry and helping, but it drives me crazy to come down the hall and it be full of piles of laundry. I choose to ignore it and move it back every time.  We take turns doing laundry and house work. If I'm working he does most of it and if he is working and it's my day off I do it.  So I try not to be to picky.

vh2014

DH leaves the washed pans on the stove and lrts them air dry instead of dying them and putting them away. I hate washing greasy dishes so i just let it go unless company is coming, then I put them away. ..he and DS have not grasped the idea of sucking them by size so if they put them away is a mess anyway. I'd rather just do it myself so it's neat.

wannabmama23

I don't know what DH does in the shower...but there's usually a small pond of water around the tub. I swear he must stand outside the shower and spray himself...I just dry it up and sigh.

tmorash

This is something I am working on. I tend to see small battles as symbolic of larger issues (I'm sure I'm not alone in this - someone back me up!), so I have a hard time not fighting even the battles that on their own are really not worth fighting.

But -- I'm getting better! The BF is a stellar dish washer, so I don't mind in the least if I do a little more of the cooking (and we're often cooking together anyway, which is awesome).

@vh2014 We have that same issue in my house, but again -- he's doing the dishes, so I try to keep my mouth shut.

I must confess, I've only been living with my BF for about five months (am I a crazy person for TTC already?)...so I have many peeves yet to uncover, I'm sure...

wannabmama23

@tmorash‌ I'm the opposite I pretty much never fight about anything...which isn't always good, either, because then something really bubbles up it can be a major blowup. My DH is soooo sensitive, I often just feel like it's not worth bringing anything up unless it is a big deal.

MelissaMiso

***child mentioned***

I refuse to battle with my 2 year old about food. Never have, never will. I don't want her to end up with food issues (I'm scared enough she going to end up with the ones I'm battling with). If she's not hungry I don't tell her she has to eat (my brother and SIL do that with my nephew and it drives me nuts).

After years of trying, I've given up on the "DH can you please shut the drawer/closet/door/cabinet you've opened" battle. I just shut things now.

tmorash

@wannabmama23 I can see how that might be trouble too, but oh how I wish I were more like that! I really am improving. I just hate that I must often seem like that obnoxious overreacting stereotype, when in reality what I'm reacting to is what I see as the larger unspoken issue hiding behind whatever stupid little thing I appear to be upset about.

I think my BF would say the same thing you said, about me. He is a pretty patient guy, and hardly ever gets upset unless I do first.

As with all things, communicating honestly (instead of gettng all worked up until a blow-out is inevitable) is probably the key. I'm getting there.

WinoGrrl

My DH is a border-line / slightly recovering hoarder (mostly kidding). So I've learned to celebrate whenever he willingly and independently throws something away or volunteers that we don't need it. When he wants to keep two of something I let it slide (assuming it isn't huge or super expensive) because at least it is just 2 and not 3,4,10,20 of something.

I also learned that he is no good at figuring out what needs to be done around the house. If I tell him to do something, it gets done but then I feel like a huge nag and wish he would just do it on his own. So- I hung up a calendar and write tasks or put post-it notes on days for the things that need to be done. He can then go to the calendar and pull off whatever task he wants to do that day and get it done without me explicitly telling him to do it. This was getting to be a big problem for us and the calendar thing seems to be working really well. It also helps us plan out the week/end and figure when we have time to bum around and play video games and when we have to get a move-on to get everything done.

vh2014

@wannabmama23‌ we have the pool of water issue too. I've given up on that too. I keep 2 bath mats so I can switch if it's wet when i go in. I tried to hint to him to dry off before he steps out a long time ago but it didn't sink in... I can live with it and at least the floor gets mopped there. Lol

WinoGrrl

@wannabmama23 and @vh2014  I'm totally the pool of water culprit in our house. I think it happens because I leave the shower curtain open a crack to cool down the steam (I like REALLY hot showers) and it drips out? I always try to mop it up myself though. oops.

vh2014

@WinoGrrl‌ I've done that. ..I'm a hot shower girl too. His issue is taking to much water out on his body. If he would shake it off (I know sounds like a dog lol) we'd be good but oh well. ..

KirstenAlecia

This would be a great question for the hubby. He is the naggy wife i our relationship. lol

I pretty much go with the flow. However with my lovely daughter who is almost 18 who constantly talks about moving on her own with friends ands stuff....when i explain to her its best to stay home and save money and that the job she will get straight out of HS is not going to be enough to support her even with roommates........well I'm seeing that this is one she may have to learn on her own.

Radiantly

My husband is amazingly neat and thoughtful which the first thing I noticed when I came to his (now our) apt for the first time. I mean, he even had a little white fabric lined basket under the bathroom sink!

Extreme minor thing is that he doesn't sweep the cat litter enough. I used to do it 2 or 3 x a day because it's right between our bathroom and bedroom doors. (In a NYC apt). But since wee been TTC, I'm supposed to avoid touching cat litter so he's been doing it. And without complaint. So I'm just jumping over the scattered litter when he doesn't sweep as much LOL.

Davie813

WinoGrrl said:

My DH is a border-line / slightly recovering hoarder (mostly kidding). So I've learned to celebrate whenever he willingly and independently throws something away or volunteers that we don't need it. When he wants to keep two of something I let it slide (assuming it isn't huge or super expensive) because at least it is just 2 and not 3,4,10,20 of something.

Ugh, mine too.  Plus, he's constantly bringing home free stuff from work that we don't have room for and generally don't use.  He's so proud of his finds, though, that I don't have the heart to say anything.

The other thing is that he's way more clean, conscientious, and germophpobic than I am.  I usually put up with the extra time these tendencies take him to do things, but not always....

kindershlitz

Squeezing the toothpaste from the center and not the end. Every day I fix it. Lol.

verdongirl

Dragons. When I met DH, he was a geeky, single English teacher who had a secret collection of dragons that clashed with my mid-century hipster aesthetic. He kept 1 and the rest were "relocated" to his classroom.

I haven't been able to make a dinner with mushrooms or olives in 4 years. When I eat out, I order extra to compensate for my losses to accommodate DH during mealtime. Lol...

We keep it real. We don't fight toooo much. He's a sensitive soul who is incredibly hard working and considerate.

Now, my sister... I just can't even. Ps: Ain't NOBODY got time for hoarding. No sireee.

vh2014

@kindershlitz‌ me too! I love this thread. It's so fun to see everyone idiosyncrasies are not that different from your own. Thank you all for sharing and thanks to @cml11 for starting it.

Austrogermokee

I used to bug DH about his eating habits - he always loaded up a huge portion his plate with meat and starch then a teeny helping of veggies. It's an unhealthy, not to mention expensive, way to eat. Now I fix him a plate and bring it out to him. I feel like Suzie Homemaker, but it means I can have leftovers for lunch the next day. Oh, and DH will eat my restaurant leftovers without asking first, or eat the last of something without seeing if I want any. Drives me nutty. I gave up on reminding him that I need to eat, too, and now I just hide food I want in the veggie crisper.

bearfootz

DH slurps his coffee.  I think slurping is the most annoying sound in the world to the point where it makes me want to scream. I'll admit that I don't always let that battle go.

 

lcwed

@bearfootz I'm the flip side.  Your DH's habit is my bad habit that drives my DH nuts.  I have a tendancy to slurp and crunch.  DH always gives me a look of exasperation when I do it while we eat.

Austrogermokee

DH is a noisy eater, too. He'll plop down right next to me on the couch and crunch and smack his way through a bag of chips, and be surprised when I get up and leave the room. I don't get it - why do some people just never learn how to NOT sound like they're slurping gravel when they eat?

Nikolie93

I am sitting here and trying to think of what I let slide but I've come to the conclusion that I choose ALL battles lol

 

CML11

@b0710‌ my DH does the same thing with his clothes. I don't mind doing his laundry along with mine, but I've told him I will only wash what is in the hamper (his doesn't even have a lid, but he misses when he tosses it from across the room). At times the hamper has been empty with a pile around it!

I once knew a woman who would pick up the dirty pile, but fold it and put it back with his clean clothes! Ha! I haven't gone that far yet!