Please change your dirty clothes before holding my baby!

KOwen87

I am in need of some advice. My mom works as a housekeeper in a hospital and when she gets home she immediately wants to hold my 5 month old. The problem is that she doesn't change out of her dirty scrubs first. I feel like this is something she should know better than to do and I shouldn't have to say anything to her. She gets highly offended every single time I call her out on this kind of thing no matter how nicely I ask so I need advice on how to ask her to please clean up before holding my baby. There are sooo many germs at a hospital and I know her uniform is crawling with them. I know she'll just get mad and say something along the lines of "Well if you don't want me to hold him then I won't." She is ridiculous about getting her feeling hurt, help! 

jannzone

i totally wasnt preparedfor the lack of what i think is common sense among my relatives when it comes to my baby! honestly most of my family on both sides hv consistently done things with my LO  that Im like AAGGH!!! please start using your brain here! i love them dont get me wrong, it just drives me crazy. I know it doesnt really help but for me i just need to put aside the stock i put in what others think and just risk being seen as "rude". bottom line-u need to say what u want and if ppl are offended so be it, your childs welfare is more important. 

nicolewhelan

I can totally relate. DH's sister is a HEAVY smoker, (and pot smoker). At DH's police graduation, I could smell her at the table we were seated at...and there was someone sitting in between us! I wanted to vomit! I told FIL and DH that when she comes to visit she has to have on clean clothes and cannot have any cigarette smoke on her at all. They both agreed. I didn't smell anything when she came over to visit the first time thank goodness! I don't want to be handed back my baby and have to go give them a bath because they reek of smoke! gross! 

Everyusernameistaken

I'm normally not one to be super anal about germs but that is GROSS... hospitals are the germiest places imaginable and I imagine that your mom is on the front lines as a housekeeper. I think it's ok to insist even if it hurts her feelings. Make it non-negotiable...She'll come around eventually.

KatWAG

I am a firm believer in your baby, your rules. If your mom gets all butt hurt about changing her clothes then she must not want to hold your LO that badly.

jfletcher3113

If this were my mom, I wouldn't care about hurting her feelings because that's just gross. If she gets offended, let her. She'll eventually let it go and come around if she wants to snuggle with your LO. 

My dad did not hold my son at all for weeks when LO was around a month old. I asked my dad to wash his hands, he didn't want to so ... he didn't get to hold him. That was his call. He made some snide comments, but I just ignored him. 

Maladroit

I'm a nurse and I won't even hold my own DS until I've showered and changed out of my scrubs.  Yuck! Stand your ground.

bumpuser260585

Try to talk to her at a time other than when she walks in the door. Wait until LO is in bed and tell her your concerns. Be honest.

My mom smokes and I had to have this conversation with her when DS1 was born. Yeah, she was upset at first but since I approached her like an adult and explained why she needed to change she was fine.

Yaymama

Isn't it gross how many people don't want to wash their hands or make a fuss about it!!! Until I had my baby I never realized how many people are like this!!! Hygiene people come on!!

abrazz

DH, Grandpa, and I are all nurses/CRNA and none of us hold the baby in the scrubs we wore that day.  I have shoes I leave at work and only wear when I'm there (I actually completely change at work since I'm in surgery).  A housekeeper will be around everything including MRSA and C-diff.  I would change if I were her.  At least bring a change of clothes so she didn't accidently give your family an unwanted gift.

KOwen87

Thank you all for your advice. It ended as I thought it would with a huge fight but after a few weeks she came around and she changes her clothes as soon as she gets home now. I just stood my ground on it and she finally got over herself. Ridiculous it has to be that way but some people are so stubborn. She won't take off her dirty shoes before walking across the floor though so I just don't let him on the bare floor. Makes it very hard now that he's learning to crawl but I take him to his other grandmas for that and I have a pad and blankets to lay down on the floor. Moving soon so we won't have to worry about that anymore thank goodness! 

jaime52005

I'm a dental assistant I always come home and change first...and I always make my in laws wash hands first (smokers )/and my brother in law gets snarky every single time