UO

Ahlome08

Let's get this started...

Ahlome08

My UO: I don't mind being the only one who wakes up in the MOTN to tend to LO. I also, SAH, but since I don't work outside of taking care of LO, that is in the job description. Plus, I love how DH realizes now how important and demanding caring for a child is, that if I haven't gotten much done in a day, he knows it's probably because I've been taking care of the baby.

Ahlome08

Also, I know I will get flamed for this one, but as unfortunate as they are, I see natural disasters as nature's way of keeping the population in check.

Everyusernameistaken

Ahlome08 said:

My UO: I don't mind being the only one who wakes up in the MOTN to tend to LO. I also, SAH, but since I don't work outside of taking care of LO, that is in the job description. Plus, I love how DH realizes now how important and demanding caring for a child is, that if I haven't gotten much done in a day, he knows it's probably because I've been taking care of the baby.

Maybe my UO is that I don't feel bad about my H helping put at night, even though I SAH
DH works outside the home 9-5 but from my perspective we're both parents 24 hours a day. Taking care of a toddler and NB from 9-5 is just as exhausting as working in an office, IMO. That being said, in the MOTN H changes LO's diaper (5 minutes every couple hours) and I BF (30-40 minutes every couple hours) so I don't think its an undue hardship .
(Also I think it depends on H's job, for example. my friend's h is a big rig driver so it would be dangerous for him to be sleep deprived).

Ahlome08

@Everyusernameistaken‌ if I had a toddler to deal with as well, I would prob feel the same as you. Lol

kmbk27

I think candy corn is delicious.

Ivorytower2

Many of the lactation consultants I've encountered remind me of Disney characters on speed.

jht14

@Ivorytower2‌ this is so true. The LC at our local hospital had a very high pitched voice and was running around everywhere never slowing down.

kearls227

I'll apologize ahead of time. My UO stems from recently seeing posts on Facebook from coworkers complaining about the mandated flu vaccine by our employer. I understand that it is taking away a choice from you but it really is to protect our patients (work in health care). Apparently this years multi dose vial also contains the preservative thimerosal which contains Mercury, so pregnant women should not get it and need the single dose syringe. People are freaking about the mercury, but I'm pretty sure there is more Mercury in seafood than this dose of vaccine. Is it terrible that I just want to say to some of these people "stfu and just fucking get it!" UNLESS of course you have a medical or religious reason not to.

Also the vaccine is a dead virus and I don't care what you say it is impossible that it would give you the flu. Some people may develop mild flu like symptoms but you do not get the flu.

I for one certainly am getting the flu vaccine at my PP check up next week and DH will be getting his. Do I want a LO coming down with the flu? That's a hard no.

End rant.

Again, I know this can be a very touchy subject with some, so again, I apologize. Lol - not meaning to start a debate just needed to get that off my chest!

emmylu30

kmbk27 said:

I think candy corn is delicious.

You should try candy corn and peanuts eaten together. I've found if you eat 2 peanuts and 1 candy corn together it tastes like a payday candy bar.

Edit: found not find.

mrsdanielleM2010

Ahlome08 said:

Also, I know I will get flamed for this one, but as unfortunate as they are, I see natural disasters as nature's way of keeping the population in check.

Ouch, Malthus! You're just one step away from the nutcases who attribute 9/11 and Katrina to God punishing us for tolerating homosexuality. Please don't cross the line to full blown crazy @Ahlome08‌!

mrsdanielleM2010

Yuristar said:

I believe that any social visits to new parents should be accompanied with food brought by the visitor. Also they shouldn't last more than 2 hours, or not be upset if baby and momma have to disappear for 45 minutes to feed...

NOT unpopular.

str13

mrsdanielleM2010 said:

Yuristar said:

I believe that any social visits to new parents should be accompanied with food brought by the visitor. Also they shouldn't last more than 2 hours, or not be upset if baby and momma have to disappear for 45 minutes to feed...

NOT unpopular.

I have a much stricter policy on visiting new moms!! And you better damn well call because I probably don't have pants on.

Eta: I also might hide from you when you stop by. And I thought I'd be a spy when I was little so I have lots of stealth training!

redtoes13

I'm an English teacher. There are days when I have to restrain myself from using people's Facebook statuses as grammar lessons. As in, what NOT to do and how punctuation and spelling matter.

Everyusernameistaken

redtoes13 said:

I'm an English teacher. There are days when I have to restrain myself from using people's Facebook statuses as grammar lessons. As in, what NOT to do and how punctuation and spelling matter.

I actually think this is a brilliant idea.

Everyusernameistaken

str13 said:

mrsdanielleM2010 said:

Yuristar said:

I believe that any social visits to new parents should be accompanied with food brought by the visitor. Also they shouldn't last more than 2 hours, or not be upset if baby and momma have to disappear for 45 minutes to feed...

NOT unpopular.

I have a much stricter policy on visiting new moms!! And you better damn well call because I probably don't have pants on.

Eta: I also might hide from you when you stop by. And I thought I'd be a spy when I was little so I have lots of stealth training!

I used to hide from my ILS with LO #1...I'd always be "showering" or "napping" when they came over.

kmbk27

NinjaZia said:

but really, when pretty much everyone has experienced early term miscarriages, get the hell over it. It's just not the same as losing a baby and it makes my FB friends look like attention whores.

I do not have words for this. I lost my first BABY due to a MMC at 12 weeks. 7 years later, I'm here to tell you, there is no getting over it, just moving on and always, always remembering my angel. This is incredibly fucking hurtful.

peanutbuttervibes

We've been over this, you can't tell people how to grieve...

Everyusernameistaken

There is already so much stigma around how we grieve our losses...when I lost a pregnancy at 5 weeks part of my grieving process was feeling guilty, like I didn't "deserve" to grieve. A lot of this came up yesterday for me (no I didn't post on social media) and your comment perfectly illustrates the ways in which we are made to feel that,way.
I appreciate your apology though, we all say things without thinking sometimes.

Everyusernameistaken

Also, calling people "attention whores" for being open about their early losses really contributes to the stigma and silence that already surrounds early pregnancy loss.
Ok, off soapbox.

Everyusernameistaken

NinjaZia said:

@Everyusernameistaken‌ You bring up great points. Honestly this is probably more about me than anything else - I DO still feel uncomfortable talking about my losses because I feel that there are so many women who have been through something worse. I have never told anyone other than family and close friends about my MCs and I would be terrified that talking publicly about it makes me look like an attention whore. I'm probably projecting my own issues with grieving on others.

I understand. Thank you for clarifying. No hard feelings. I've been thinking about this a lot lately though.

jht14

I'm not always comfortable talking about my miscarriage. I was 8 weeks pregnant when there no longer was a heartbeat. I was devastated. Even though as I type this I'm holding my beautiful daughter, I still am sad about the baby I lost. I also still feel incredibly guilty about it. I know it wasn't my fault but that doesn't make it any easier.

That miscarriage has changed everything. I was terrified the entire time I was pregnant that something would happen to my DD. As an only child, I want her to have siblings. I absolutely loved being pregnant but it gives me anxiety to think about trying to get pregnant and actually being pregnant.

I'm not sure if any of that makes any sense or is even matters but I'm so irritated that I'm rambling. Please don't tell people how to feel/grieve.

conradraging

I'm not going to say much because everyone else covered it, but I had my d&c a year ago this month and I really can't handle that UO without sobbing. I love all you fellow ladies who experienced losses at ANY point tremendously, and our grief does matter. *hugs* girls.

brittneyandadam

I don't want to beat a dead horse...but my 2 cents: A loss is a loss. You're allowed to grieve however you'd like, do not feel guilty about it.

And honestly, I've never had an early term loss but was at risk due to my chromosomal abnormality (a 30-50% chance)...I would have been absolutely devastated if I lost little miss early, especially after everything we went through to get pregnant..I would have gone BSC on anyone if they would have said that the loss didn't matter as much.

TL;DR: You don't know anyone's full story. If someone is grieving, you should be there for them and not judge b/c you have no clue what's behind them.

doglover31

As someone who has had 2 early miscarriages, I don't think my pain should be diminished because I wasn't farther along. I loved both of those babies and had big dreams for both of them. I'm so happy to have my DS now, but that doesn't take away the memory of what happened and the pain from that. In fact DS was born 2 years to the day that we found out our first babies heart had stopped beating. So that day is one of the best of my life, but also one of the worst moments of my life happened on that day.

mrsdanielleM2010

@ninjazia I'm not going to rip you because you've already apologized, AND I didn't post on my fb yesterday, but I want to add my experience to give you more perspective.

After my first early mc, I said "I guess these things happen." After the second, I was really upset. After the third, when my obgyn said "this just happens, no big deal, I switched ob's.

After the fourth, I had lap surgery to remove endometriosis and after the fifth we finally figured it out and started supplementing progesterone.

All of my losses were early - before 8 weeks in every case. I never even needed a D&C.

The little boy I'm nursing right now is the first child I get to hold in my arms, but I live everyday hoping to meet my other children some day. They are real, they matter, and I am their only legacy on this Earth.

bumpuser10199668

I'm fucking pissed you tried to pull a smoke and mirrors by talking about teal pumpkins @NinjaZia‌

I understand you apologized but I guess I'm the only one who doesn't believe you. The women here are much nicer than I am

mrsdanielleM2010

GingerGiraffe said:

NinjaZia said:

@mrsdanielleM2010‌ Thank you for sharing that. I too had to supplement progesterone this pregnancy. I had two MCs, one was at 12 weeks and one was at 6 weeks. I was in the ER for both for hemorrhaging. I was completely alone for both because DH was traveling for work and I didn't want to bother my friends or family. I've never talked to anyone about them because I've never felt that it mattered - it seemed everyone around me were having MCs so I didn't feel right grieving mine when I was holding everyone else's hands as they went through theirs. It's hard to give myself permission to grieve, even though I had heard the heartbeat of the first MC and had names picked out. My heart goes out to everyone who's gone through this, at any stage.

I find it really sad that you've gone through the pain of two miscarriages and still said all that about other women. You know the pain and heartache it causes and you still felt it was okay to judge.


I think I need to leave this thread.

Agreed 100%. And I'll add @ninjazia you obviously haven't been here long enough, because this board has been over and over this bullshit about pain Olympics. You should have quit with the apology.

brittneyandadam

crystalangel79 said:

sparklegrump said:

Everyusernameistaken said:

redtoes13 said:

I'm an English teacher. There are days when I have to restrain myself from using people's Facebook statuses as grammar lessons. As in, what NOT to do and how punctuation and spelling matter.

I actually think this is a brilliant idea.

I read somewhere that teachers are using football players'/celebs' statuses as examples, good and bad. I love the idea.

FB lessons are awesome. I assign my students a WWII leader and they have to create a fb page for them (on paper... I had a template). They had to figure out who his friends would be (allies), do check in statuses and timeline posts about what they do, etc. Super fun

Um, coolest assignment ever.

str13

brittneyandadam said:

crystalangel79 said:

sparklegrump said:

Everyusernameistaken said:

redtoes13 said:

I'm an English teacher. There are days when I have to restrain myself from using people's Facebook statuses as grammar lessons. As in, what NOT to do and how punctuation and spelling matter.

I actually think this is a brilliant idea.

I read somewhere that teachers are using football players'/celebs' statuses as examples, good and bad. I love the idea.

FB lessons are awesome. I assign my students a WWII leader and they have to create a fb page for them (on paper... I had a template). They had to figure out who his friends would be (allies), do check in statuses and timeline posts about what they do, etc. Super fun

Um, coolest assignment ever.

For real! It's stuff like this that kids actually remember. Instead of all the things they feel forced to do! It sounds like a fun assignment, I bet they love it.

kaleb87

I know this has been covered, and I am glad you apoIogized but wow. I am shaken and can't even decide where to start.
I have experienced both an early miscarriage and a late term miscarriage. Guess what, they both still hurt, and even to this day with 2 amazing children I still grieve. I have my days where I still cry. I have my days where I am so lost in thought wondering what if.
My babies that I lost may have never taken a breathe on the outside but they did have heartbeats, and were a living being that passed. No matter when a miscarriage occurs, you still have to know that was a living being, and the family has every right to grieve, and more so remenber that child.
Finally, the one thing that really jumped out was you wrote get over it because almost everyone has one. That is incredibly sad to me. I would not wish a miscarriage on my worst enemy. It is sad that an early miscarriage is viewed this way. It may just be an early miscarriage but there are some women that never have anything more than an early miscarriage.
I just want to close this by saying I feel I am beyond blessed to have found a doctor that took the time to go over every test no matter how small to determine why and has since helped me to carry and deliver two healthy babies. There are so many that don't have a doctor willing to not give up. Please take everything these women have said on here as a lesson, and a rememberance of all the unfortunate losses.

CUBBIESMAMA3

I personally haven't had an MC, but I have very close friends and family that have. Hugs to all you ladies and your families who have gone through it. I'm so sorry that y'all had to experience that. You're all in my T&P.

emmylu30

Hugs to all of you that have experienced losses. I appreciate that there is an awareness day so it hopefully will remove some of the stigma related to losses and allow for women to share their experiences which may help with their healing process.

As far as my UO: I despise baby talk. It is like nails down the chalkboard when anyone does it to my kids.

amom2four

crystalangel79 said:

sparklegrump said:

Everyusernameistaken said:

redtoes13 said:

I'm an English teacher. There are days when I have to restrain myself from using people's Facebook statuses as grammar lessons. As in, what NOT to do and how punctuation and spelling matter.

I actually think this is a brilliant idea.

I read somewhere that teachers are using football players'/celebs' statuses as examples, good and bad. I love the idea.

FB lessons are awesome. I assign my students a WWII leader and they have to create a fb page for them (on paper... I had a template). They had to figure out who his friends would be (allies), do check in statuses and timeline posts about what they do, etc. Then they "visit" other peoples pages an leave comments/posts. Like FdR tells Churchill that he is glad to help with the lend lease act. Or Churchill would tell Mussolini something nasty Super fun

My sister teaches HS LA and does a fb page assignment for one of the books they read. I read some hilarious posts from those kids. I love that this kind of variety is available now! Keeps kids more interested in school!

Ahlome08

@mrsdanielleM2010‌ no, I don't believe God "punishes" us for anything. I just believe in the circle of life. I also don't believe that people in these disasters deserve to die, just that it's kind of the world's way of balancing things out, as far as there being a lot of people. Strictly to go with how many people there are, not what they do.

Also, hugs to anyone who has ever had to experience any type of loss, period. I can't imagine what you all have had to go through, but my heart goes out to you all.

Ciardasully

I am glad I missed this thread today. I had an early MC right before Thanksgiving. I got pregnant with LO right away and I was so scared it was going to happen again. While I am thrilled I have LO, I still cry about the child I lost. Losses suck no matter what.

JanisBaby14

shauna813 said:

@emmylu30 I despised baby talk until I had one. Now words like "baba" and "binkie" exist in my vocabulary :P

This. I have said some weird things in baby talk to DS. My husband is way worse ... Which is really weird. He's a 6'5", ex-hockey player ... But the biggest softy in the world now that DS is here.

jht14

@crystalangel79‌ there is a flu shot that people with egg allergies can get. I'm not sure the name of it but my friend's daughter is allergic to eggs and she gets it.

JanisBaby14

It's Friday but I have a good one: I hate the Walking Dead ... I can even say I've seen all of seasons one and two and just don't get the hype. And really hate when new seasons start and end because of all the facebook posts about it that I don't care about ... *hides*

kearls227

@crystalangel79‌ boy if your SIL insists she can't have the vaccine and was told not to be around children this winter, wouldn't it be nice if SHE skipped thanksgiving dinner so you could enjoy with family? Hahaha just sayin...

CUBBIESMAMA3

My UO is that I don't get the zombie hype either. I think zombies are gross. So I agree with @JanisBaby14‌ and @kaitlinr87‌