Well I have scrolled along this page many times, have ready many of your concerns, fears and triumphs and have chosen to stay in my small corner with my husband.
My husband and I started our adoption process in March and finally this past week, we are finally officially waiting for a birth mom to choose us. We went through a private agency and for the most part, we love them! We have visited them several times and even though the process has been long, we are quite relieved for it to be out of our hands. At the same time, I am terrified, emotional, sensitive and...feel pregnant (im not)...I really feel like I am losing my mind at times! I try and explain this to those around me and even those friends who are carrying babies at the moment, I feel like I am just as hormonal as they are these days. The reality of being a parent is hitting me and the realities of ALL that is out of my control is taxing. I am very blessed to have a loving husband and supportive family (at least my side), his side is very distant from the process - they don't ask, we usually have to tell them and sort of fish for their excitement. I think to myself, if I was pregnant, they would for sure be calling to see how we are doing. No body except most of you...understand that this hard in it's own way. I want to be treated as if I am pregnant (I KNOW that is so silly!) but I want the Oohs, Ahhs, How are you feeling phone calls! Am I really losing it or asking too much?
Speaking about my agency, the times we have met with them have been great again but I feel like contact is super short and almost comes across cold when I respond or update them. I will write a paragraph of excitement and will get back a "Okay _______________"! So I am defeated, there is no support groups around here, I reached out to a therapist but they do not specialize in adoption. So here I am, hoping for one person to hear me and truly understand where I am coming from.
I just keep getting these waves of complete excitement that we could get the call right NOW... and then I pop my own bubble with that "What if this never happens or we wait years?" I expected to feel these feelings, just a maybe later in the process! Any advice from those waiting or have adopted, please