hey yall. DH and i are in the process of adopting a baby due in january- he would be our 1st child. we have had 2 people offer to throw us a shower (my sister and his mom- my sister and family all live in a different town that DH's family). the whole idea kind of worries me, as there is so much uncertainty surrounding adoption. while things seem to be going smoothly for the time being, anything could happen. the expectant mother may change her mind come january. there's no way to plan for that kind of thing. DH and i are horrified at the thought of people gathering to shower us with gifts, and then there being no baby to celebrate (probably an irrational thought from a scared and nervous adoptive couple). anyway, would it be rude to decline this type of thing? we haven't even told anyone apart from close family about the adoption, since we want to be guarded and realistic about the fact that the baby is not yet ours. would you suggest possibly a meet the baby type party for after he is home? DH's mom is being rather insistent on throwing us something, since the family has stood by us through all our infertility battle and are very excited for us now. i really don't want to hurt her feelings, and i know she can't possibly understand our feelings. she's already kinda miffed at us for not shouting things from the rooftops about how excited we are. don't get me wrong, we are over the moon! we just are being cautious and careful with our feelings, ya know?
ok sorry for this long winded post. if this was a "tl;dr" situation, to recap- i guess my main questions are would you just bite the bullet and let them throw a traditional shower? would it be better to do a meet the baby type thing? have you ever been to an adoption baby shower? are showers for adoptive moms tacky? i have so much to learn, and i know you ladies will know! thanks in advance for any advice!
trying for #1 since May 2012... we're adopting! bringing home baby boy in january 2015!
Re: adoption shower? help.
BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12
Congratulations on your adoption
I think you've got some great advice here, and wanted to add, congrats on your adoption.
This is SUCH exciting news and so lovely.
If it was ME I would wait until the baby was at our house and THEN have the shower. What about a February party? See if the hostesses can plan for February in case there are delays. You could also ask the people at the adoption agency or service what they recommend.
BFP #2: m/c at 7w, February, 2014
BFP #3: It's a BOY! Please be our rainbow! Due February, 2015
*everyone always welcome*