Need some advise.. please

natashaDK

Dear all,

I need some advise for me and my future baby.

I am a Danish citizen living and working in Ireland (1 yr 7 mths). The daddy-to-be is Irish. He is a good guy but lately he has been making comments about how he only wants to move in "part-time", how he will be there (for me and the baby) when he chooses too.

He looks at me like I am a stranger, he doesn't want to have sex with me and he is no longer interested in participating in antenatal classes, doctors appointments etc.

We have been dating on-off for the last year and 7 months (yes I moved to Ireland for him), I know he sees an other woman on-off too. Before I got pregnant I didn't really care to much about this - I mean, we were "just" having fun.
The pregnancy was not planned - yet we have been talking about babies ever since we met.

Thought he is a good guy, he does the occasional drugs and has no money to financially support me and the baby.  

Now I am 7 mths pregnant and I only have my partner here in Ireland to support me - I can't move later (not with a little baby).
When I found out I was pregnant, I gave him the opportunity to walk away / let me know if he only wanted to be part time dad or to engage in a real relationship with me (and no other woman) - He chose to become a full time daddy/boyfriend, and we started planning everything. He told me he wasn't seeing this other woman and he was really excited, and then a couple of months ago I found out they were planning a family together as well - she needs UVF treatment and they went to Estonia together to do the testing.  

So I don't know what to do now?
Should I take the chance and stay in Ireland, hope for him to come around, and mature to be a parent and a partner,
Or should I go back to Denmark were I have my family and friends who can help me?

I understand that going back to Denmark will limit my partners access to the baby, but I would be willing to pay for his flight every now and then.

Please help me...

MinnesotaMomma91

Everything becwheat said. Hes obviously not ready to be a father, and your better off going home to where youll have real support from your friends and family

20thirteen

I'm going to go with the PP here.  This guy is clearly leading you by the heart strings and it's not going to change until you decide to change the situation.  If you are better off back in Denmark with your friends and family, I think you should move back to Denmark.  The only thing that would hold you back is this guy.  There is nothing else for you in Ireland outside of this one guy and, clearly, he's too immature to handle the relationship with you.  He thinks he can get away with starting two families.  Pardon my language, but FUCK THAT SHIT.  He can't have your cake and her cake and ALL THE CAKE in Ireland (not sure if you know the expression "have your cake and eat it, too").

Also, yes, check up on the laws before you leave, but you need to leave.  If you wait until after you have the baby, you might "kidnap" the child and then he could possibly take the child away from you.