Christmas party with a newborn

skibunny59

Hi Ladies,

Every year my parents host a big Christmas eve party at their house for the family.  It's been a tradition since I was a kid and I always look forward to getting together with  my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.  Problem is, I am due with baby #2 on Dec. 4th.  It's all family but it's a fairly large gathering (25 people) but my parents do live close by so I'm thinking about it.  Am I crazy for thinking about going or should I just stay home?

2chatter

I am not a fan of "pass the newborn" as a party game. I would go if I could nurse then put the sleeping baby in a bouncer or something in a quiet, adjacent room (ILs here have a second open living room that no one congregates in on Christmas eve, from which I could easily see a bouncer from the main area). If the ILs or other relatives have bad newborn boundaries I would skip it.

MommyAtty

I would go in a heartbeat. You enjoy it, everyone is going to want to see the baby, and you'll be about 3 weeks in so likely dying to get out of your house. And it's not far. Go! Have a great time!

MommyAtty

The Moby is a great idea if you want to keep people's hands off the baby. I still do that with DS at 5 mos. People think baby-wearing is so difficult that no one wants to put you out by making you re-put on the baby. Little do they know it takes me under 15 seconds to get DS into or out of his Ergo.

SunAndRain

Go! Get a moby wrap to keep baby close and you'll look fashionable enough too

(Baby will sleep in moby, you can nurse in it too, and it'll keep the pass the baby under your control)

Slb22

I'd go, especially because if you need to leave you live close by

Leap08

I'd go. DD2's birthday is Dec 4. We did a lot of holiday stuff when she was a newborn. I wore her almost everywhere and never had issues.

Mustardseed2007

I agree with everything said about-go, make people wash their hands, baby wear etc.

This Is 100x better than people coming to your house or something bc when you have had enough you can just leave. This is especially true since you're close by. 

shannm

I'd go. But I had DS in Home Depot 4 days old.

jtmomma13

PrivacyWanted said:

I'd go.  I'd enforce a hands wash immediately before touching the baby rule, and/or mostly wear the newborn in a moby. But I'd go

This. I agree with everyone saying to wear the baby. It keeps people's hands away. Set up a private space for the baby in a bedroom - that way you can put the babe down. You should enjoy yourself!

ccam

I would go and plan on wearing the baby... actually I am due 11/24 and am going to do the same thing for Christmas.

shannm

amy052006 said:

shannm said:

I'd go. But I had DS in Home Depot 4 days old.

See this is different to me. We went to target on the way home from the hospital. But no one at target held/breathed on/slobber on my kid either. I'd actually be way less corcerned about the store than a room full of relatives that want to hold my kid and spread winter grossness.

I understand. I was just trying to qualify my statement as one coming from a pretty laid back person.

sugarbear0524

I would go.  It doesn't have to be a "pass the baby" event. You and your DH are the parents and you can control who holds the baby. You'll have to get used to making the rules for your own children. You may make someone mad, but you don't have to avoid the event or hide in another room. Just say, "There's a lot of germs going around this winter!" Then change the subject and move on.

I know prior family tradition plays in to these things, i.e. "We always pass around new babies!" but you have to be strong enough to do what you think is best for your baby regardless of what has been done in the past. I had my son at age 40 and by then my sister already had 3. She pretty much had set the expectations but I did things differently. My (and DH's) baby, our choice.

Beevol

I would play it by ear. You never know when the baby will actually come (she could be two weeks at christmas or 6 weeks, which are very different beasts!) and you never know how you will feel. 

Around 4 weeks with DD, I probably would have been up for it and put her in the moby. No one has good baby etiquette and once you hand your infant to one person, they'll pass her off to the next person without asking and you can no longer enforce handwashing/have you had your flu shot yet sorts of rules (and that's not counting the great aunt who decides to give her a "taste" of food - people are ridiculous). But at 2 weeks? I was still a topless/breastfeeding constantly, crying for no reason whatsoever, exhausted mess and it would have been horrible. 

Since your parents live near by, you have the luxury of deciding later, after s/he's born. 

lilies&orchids

Another vote for plan to go! I would hate to miss the Christmas party that we have in our family. As for the age of the baby, my aunt hosted a family get together when DS2 was 3 weeks old, but I was fine with everyone holding him, no one was sick (disclaimer: that was summer, not cold/flu season). Like others said, you can always change your mind after baby gets here.

NicoleWI

Lurking from SAHM, but I had babies born 12/10 and 12/12. I also worried about this b/c I am a total germaphobe with newborns, but we went to our main family parties (Christmas Eve with my family and Christmas Day with DH's family). We did skip a less-crucial huge round-robin event, but that was no big deal. 

People were really good about not holding the baby. I think I may have said something in advance to our moms, asking them to kind of spread the word that we were trying to make sure the baby didn't get exposed to too many things. Actually, I think both ended up sleeping in their car seats for a good part of the party, which was awesome. I made people wash their hands, too. Also, our immediate family and the grandparents all had flu shots and whooping cough boosters.

NADA-H

we normally host a meet the baby sort of party when the baby is a week old (it's in our cultural tradition it has it's own customs and music too!). not everyone holds or/and carries the baby and I pulled my baby when I needed to nurse her, a few of my close family held her and then she was in her bassinet in the guest bedroom with a closed door and I kept the monitor with me.

we were at my parents house and there were 30 people plus at that party and all went great. Saved me the hassle of people wanting to pop in every now and then to see the baby and I needed to see people

umma4babes

I think it would depend on the people gathered at the party and your comfort level with them. My family pretty much leaves the baby alone if she is sleeping. They are also good about washing hands/not going near the baby if they are sick. If I anticipate "pass the baby" or holding a sleeping baby, I would say no.

RachelandEduardo

Go and definitely baby wear. It deters people from asking to hold LO. I used to do this all the time at parties and in social settings with family or for my husbands job. Works like a charm

bumpuser10331514

I would 100% LOVE this. Everyone would get to see the baby without me having to clean my house or make food. It'd likely be the first time I got to dress up a little (i.e., make myself presentable) since having the baby. And lots of people to watch kid #1. Regarding the "pass the baby" game, I'm always for that so long as everyone washes their hands first. You also get to leave when you want to, b/c the baby is always a "get out family gatherings free" pass.

MickeyM04

I would probably need to know more.  Since this is baby #2, is your older child in daycare/preschool etc?  I was super laid back about taking DD out places at a younger age, and exposing her to more people/places, because DS is in DC and was literally sick when I brought DD home from the hospital (he was actually sick on and off most of my maternity leave).  Our house was probably way germier than anywhere else we took DD, not to mention she had her big brother who was constantly sneezing/snotting/coughing/fevering all over her.  So I wasn't generally worried about her being around germs since she was around germs 24/7 in her own house.  

That being said, if my older child had a nanny/was generally healthy/not exposed to a lot of illness, I probably would have exerted more control over things and limited DD's contact with others/the outside world at just a few weeks of age, because that's how I am.  But that wasn't the case; we had an older child who was in DC and sick all the time so if it were me, I would definitely go but yes, enforce hand washing/hand sanitizer prior to touching baby.