Frustrated : 2 recurrent miscarriages

nkmeunier

Hello -  My husband and I have miscarried twice since June.  Our first miscarriage was dubbed a chemical pregnancy after a day of intense cramping, bleeding and a trip to the ER.  A vaginal u/s indicated no sac but my hormone levels were extremely high so had to come back in two days to check again and eliminate an ectopic pregnancy.  Luckily, there was no ectopic pregnancy but still devastating.

We tried again after one menstrual cycle and became pregnant again.  This time I actually made it to my first ultrasound without any problems but the tech could not find a heartbeat.  Again, we were devastated.  Our doctor had hope it was just too early to detect the heartbeat so ordered blood work to check HcG levels and another ultrasound in two weeks.  The LONGEST two weeks of my life.  We didn't receive the news we hoped.  No growth from two weeks earlier and still no heartbeat.  My doctor was confident there was no chance.  We decided to do a D&C that afternoon instead of a natural miscarriage as I had already gone through that a few months earlier. 

I try to tell myself that this wasn't my plan, but things happen for a reason.  This may just not be the right time.  We are currently building our dream house ourselves.  My husband is consumed in working on the house, classes and work.  I worry about him and everything else.  I started 50 mg of Zoloft the beginning of the summer while going through the building process.  Since the first miscarriage, I increased to 100 mg for a month and saw a therapist then went back to 50 mg and was doing great.  I have decided to go back to 100 mg and see my therapist again just to talk things through. 

I'm thinking of you all going through the same frustrations.

PinkCamino

I'm so sorry for your losses and that you find yourself here. I'm no expert when it comes to early losses but your first loss being labeled a CP seems a little off. As far as I know CPs are not generally accompanied by extremely high levels of HCG. WIth my CP I was barely able to turn a test positive and ultimately my period came 2 days late. If I were you I would ask your doctor some questions, how high were the levels? What do you quantify as "Extremely high"?

Have you read the posts that are stuck at the top of the board? They do an amazing job of explaining the board culture. Although you may feel that saying things like "it's not the right time" or "that things happen for a reason" please understand that those types of statements can be daggers to the heart for some of the ladies here (myself included).

I'm sorry that you find yourself here but please know this is an amazing community with some many wonderful ladies.

ctk181

I'm so sorry for your losses.

meredithcarole

I am very sorry for your losses.  There is absolutely no rhyme or reason to why any of this happens.  I am glad you are seeing your therapist.  This is an extremely difficult road to walk and it is great that you are able to ask for help.  We are a very tight knit, supportive community here and all of us know how it feels.  Welcome.  

[Deleted User]

I'm sorry for your losses. ((hugs)) welcome to the board. 

[Deleted User]

I'm so sorry for your loss. ((hugs)) welcome to the board

nikiswimr

I'm sorry for your losses.

peregrinefalconx

I'm sorry to hear of your losses. It is hard, and so is remodeling a house/building a new one at the same time! Don't play that one down...I've been in your situation and emotions are already amplified when a house is torn apart/you're trying to make time to do the work and for each other. I've had 2 miscarriages under similar circumstances--a husband screaming about the siding being put up incorrectly, with a crew of guys in the yard, as we are leaving for the hospital to have a DNC. Dig deep and you can do it. You'll find your way...we each find comfort in different ways of viewing miscarriages. Good luck! and be gentle with yourself, finding ways to relax the best you can.

mrspipp

I'm so sorry for your losses, and that you find yourself here. Your experience is so similar to my own, and my heart goes out to you. 

To echo others'  - with my CP, my levels were never high, and returned to zero after only a few days. Following up with your doctor on your beta numbers may be helpful moving forward. 

jms627

So very sorry for your losses - hope you find some comfort here!

Km380

I'm sorry for your losses. I'm glad you are seeing a therapist and recognizing what you need. Make sure you and YH keep communication open and honest as you get through this. Welcome to the board

aenelson

I'm sorry for your losses. It's an emotional roller coaster without a doubt. Know that we are here for you, as we have all been through it. It's an absolutely heartbreaking thing to have to go through.

GeorgiaDottie

I am so sorry for your losses and the roller coaster you are on right now; hopefully you can take some time for yourself and some time with your DH that helps you take yoru mind off things, even just for a little bit (although I know how hard that is.) I think the therapist is a great outlet and wish you lots of luck.

imakeeff0rts

I'm so sorry for your losses. I'm glad that you're seeing a therapist amd doing what you need to do to heal.

ellebelle2384

I'm so sorry for your losses.  Welcome to the board.

jjbmstinco

I am so sorry for your losses.  Welcome to the board.

alm288

I'm so sorry for your losses. It's great that you are seeing a therapist and working through your feelings and losses. Take care of yourself. Welcome.

nkmeunier

Hello, all - Thank you for your posts.  I apologize for the insensitive statement @PinkCamino and @Fightersince83.  That was not my intention.  Please accept my apology.

Thank you to everyone else for your support. 

PinkCamino

nkmeunier said:

Hello, all - Thank you for your posts.  I apologize for the insensitive statement @PinkCamino and @Fightersince83.  That was not my intention.  Please accept my apology.

Thank you to everyone else for your support. 

Thank you for understanding.