Can I join you ladies?

gingerygirl

It's been over a month now since my precious girl was born at 23 weeks. I still think about her every day. I try to act and be okay. I got a new job that I love. We moved into our own house. Our first house. We are becoming more and more financially stable. Things are looking up for us.
And then night comes and every detail of that day replays in my head. How do I make it stop? It's driving me mad. All the the what ifs and blames that I don't want to think about haunt me. What do I do?

BrittianyM

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I am so very sorry for the loss of your sweet baby girl. Sending thoughts and prayers your way. We are all here for you whenever you need us.

stefuge

I am so sorry for your loss of your sweet baby girl. Be gentle with yourself. Take it moment by moment, day by day. It will get less painful, less shocking, it just takes time. Do you have someone you can talk to - a counselor or friend who will listen? Or maybe a local grief support group? We are here whenever you need us, but it also helps to be able to talk about it to someone in real life too, just to get out what you are feeling. You will continue to think about your little girl every day, all day, probably for the rest of your life, and as time passes, it will be less painful. If you feel comfortable sharing, we would love to know your little girls name and hear her story. ((Hugs))

Mel&John2013

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I'm so sorry for the loss of your little girl.

All you can do is be kind to yourself and allow yourself to grieve. You don't have to feel guilty about it or feel you have to act "normal". Just one day at a time.

Manada

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I too often reply the details in my head of our babies' birth, and the days immediately before it over and over.    Just one day at a time is a bit of a cliche, but it's true --- just keep plodding along, and the days just pass by.   Sometimes I'm shocked to realize we have survived the past 4 months, but we have.

You're not alone, the baby loss club sucks to be a part of, but it has helped me tremendously to find others who know this pain.   We are all thinking of you and your lost little one too.

ikrystal

**ticker warning**

I am so sorry for your loss. It has been 9 months since we lost our twins, and I still think about the day I delivered them almost daily.  You are definitely not alone.  I hope you find a lot of support on this board.  

AshersMom11

I am so sorry for your loss. At 5 months out I still have good days and bad days, but the the bad days are becoming less frequent. The pain of losing a child isn't something I'll ever "get over" but I am learning to live with it. Give yourself some time and be kind to yourself. This is a great place to find support from those who can understand what you are going through.

CheesyPeas

I'm so sorry for your loss.  It's been about 3.5 months since we lost our little girl at 24 weeks, and I still relive those moments pretty regularly and think of her constantly.  For me, the thoughts of her haven't lessened, and I'm completely fine with that since over time I can think of her while remaining composed most of the time.  I feel sadness when I think of her but not the same despair I did in the beginning.

msunshine123

I am so sorry for the loss of you little girl. It hurts so much to loose a child. Night time and any time during the day when I was left with my thoughts was so hard at first. The pain does lessen with time. Please be patient and kind with yourself. You would have done everything and anything for your precious daughter if you could have, but it was out of your control. You are in my thoughts. ((hugs))

shandorfml2

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So sorry for the loss of your sweet girl. At a month out, I think I was at my worst point, and things started to slowly get better. It probably took 3 months for me to function somewhat normally. I am 19 months out and still have flashbacks, particularly at nighttime, of her birth. Not all the time, but it does happen. Take it easy on yourself. I echo what PPs said, therapy has been really helpful for me and I still attend. I also have a local support group that is very helpful

Littleowl913

I'm so sorry for your loss. I cannot offer any advice because I'm in the same boat as you. It was one month yesterday that we lost our baby boy Ronin. It's still rough when I'm by myself and I let my mind wander but I keep reminding myself that with time, it will get better.

gingerygirl

Thank you so much for your support. If you'll hear it, here is her story:
Two days before it happened I went to the doctor for a check up. I had an ultrasound. Everything looked great. Strong heartbeat, on the bigger side for 23 weeks, kicking and squirming all over the place. The next day I was on my feet all day at work. I started feeling a full ache in my lower back but I passed it off as stress from being on my feet. Four o'clock the next morning I woke up feeling the contractions. When I got to the hospital, they gave me the medicine to stop it. It didn't work. She was born at 10:25am. I was in labor for only 6.5 hours. Aside from being very fast and very early, it was a normal labor. No complications at all. She was born alive but her lungs were too underdeveloped. She lived for two precious hours. We named her Emma Rose. She was the most beautiful little girl I have ever seen.

lexusolsen

Im so sorry for the loss of Emma Rose. I love her name. We will be seven months out tomorrow. Journaling, seeing a therapist, participating on this board, joining a support group, and projects have really helped me to heal. My therapist pointed out that I'm doing all the right things but the timing is beyond my control. There's only so much you can do to help yourself get to the acceptance stage. Let yourself feel the many emotions you are experiencing, be kind to yourself, and reach out to those around you. I'll be thinking of you.