In law family drama!! Long Vent!

Helmink0804

Agh!!! To make a very long story short here is a little background: back at the beginning of July I put a post on my DHs goddaughters FB page about what a gentlemen her bf was by opening her cardoor. My BIL decided to comment on it saying he only did it to get in her pants- it's her first bf and she was only 17 at the time. Did I like his comment- no I thought it was a dick thing to say- but I didn't delete it- she must of. At the end of July my BIL had a corn-hole tournament event at his house and everyone was cool with everyone. A week later was my MILs bday party and my BIL and his wife were a little cold towards us- the next day I am taken off his FB, Twitter, and his wife took me off Facebook. Turns out it's bc he thinks I deleted his dick comment- which I didn't, I even texted him that night saying she must not of liked his comment and deleted it. I've always been close with my BIL and couldn't figure out why he took me off FB- so when my DH asked him why and he said that it kind of pissed off my DH and he might not of said nice things about my BILs wife- once a cheater always a cheater- I liked you better when you guys were separated- not nice things.

Well it's now mid-October and things still aren't good between us- BIL never came to LOs Bapstism- we weren't invited to our nephews bday party- neither was my other SIL who isn't involved in this.

Well now my FIL is canceling Christmas at their house bc of all this shit happening and I feel really bad bc it's LOs first Christmas and I was excited for ALL family celebrations with it- not just my side.

Get this too- I guess now we can no longer ask my MIL to babysit since my FIL doesn't want her to be taken advantage of! I'm sorry I thought you would like seeing your granddaughter since you don't see her all the time!

Ugh!! Sorry for the long vent!

biscuitsgirl2007

Sorry you're dealing with that. I think some inlaws exist just to make life harder. Maybe something can be resolved by Christmas but, yeah, that's not a nice comment towards a 17yo. I would've deleted it with no apology.

tbiscuit18

I'm sorry you're dealing with all of this family drama. It makes things so complicated. If it's your husband's family it seems like it would be best if he deals with it. How does he feel about the situation? I guess take your lead from him on how he'd like to handle things. MH's family has a significantly strained relationship and while I would love to see it mended, it's not my family. I had to step back and just let DH figure out what he wants. 

I really feel like social media is the antagonizer of many unintended family dramas. 

Helmink0804

We always got along. We would get together with my BIL outside of family functions all the time! The summer we got married and him and his wife weren't together him and the kids were over EVERY WEEKEND! We had a brother/sister relationship.

My BIL and his wife became friends with a reall good friend of mine and his gf and I guess my BILs wife didn't want to share and tried ruining our friendship with my friend and his gf.

We had no problem with being around them and passing ourselves with it, but I guess my BIL and wife can't do that.

With my MIL babysitting she's maybe has done it a handful of times within the 3.5 months I've been back to work- I don't think that's taking advantage of someone.

I'm just so sick of this. It's gotten to the point now where my BIL told my DH if he sees him he's gonna punch his face in to where he'll have to hauled off by cops! How lovely is that!

I say they should just have Christmas and the ones who want to be there and be mature will show up! My FIL and MIL have 13 grandchildren why ruin christmas for all them!

I can't help but feel it's somewhat my fault. If I didn't post that harmless post on FB this would of never be happening. I've apologized to my DH saying its my fault and he's told me it's not that it's his brother over reacting. I feel like my FIL blames me.

Helmink0804

I've told my DH to apologize and he said he will once my BIL apologizes. My BIL and his wife sat around at the nephews party we weren't invited too and just talked shit about us and have been talking shit about us to my friends.

Helmink0804

That's how my husband feels. We don't sit around talking shit about them. My BIL and his wife started all this family drama. My BILs wife went up to my SILs husband and asked him who'll be getting divorced first: my BIL and her or my SIL and her husband! Who does that?!

IBackBevo

This sounds so childish. Your bil needs to gtfu.

Helmink0804

It is so childish!
He's the last person I ever thought would get mad over anything with FB. All through planning our wedding is when BIL and his wife were going through their issues and anytime I posted something on FB about the wedding he was always posting something negative about it! He even told my DH not to get married!! My Aunt and an old childhood friend got on his case one time bc of all the negativity he was doing! When we announced on FB that we were expecting a friend of mine congratulated me and welcomed to motherhood- my BIL comment to her saying she's already in motherhood she has a stepson and ruined the happy post!

Helmink0804

I agree that just needs to be left alone- but it's hard when every time DH goes to his parents house his dad tells him to apologize. His dad is gonna put a wedge between him and my DH. DH tells him I will once he apologizes to us.

momthatlifts

Wow. He didn't go to your kids baptism all because he thinks you deleted a very disrespectful and gross comment off facebook? His comment was childish and so is he

Helmink0804

Nope! That hurt a lot- what did his not even 5 month old niece do to him to make him not want to go to her Bapstism?! He could of went to the church part set in the back and left afterwards- they didn't have to go back to our house for the luncheon. He didn't even send a card or a text to acknowledge it! He of told my MIL to acknowledge it on his behalf! My brother from FL called the morning of to wish us luck and to say he wish he could be there and congrats to Brooke on being baptized!

Helmink0804

We're fine with distancing ourselves from my BIL but I no longer feel comfortable around his parents and no longer feel comfortable asking them to babysit ever!

yvanehtnioj

How would he have even known the comment was deleted? What did he do, go back to check for likes & kudos and get all butthurt? He shouldn't even be investing that much time & effort into FB comments. This is beyond stupid on their part. World War 3 over a Facebook comment. I can't even. I have Mad Men gifs for this:

mymommyplace

Life is too short my dear to dwell and lose time enjoying ppl that want to be with you and your family. I'm sorry you're going through this but front the sound of it there's nothing much more that can be done. You can't fix something that someone else doesn't want fixed. Trust me I speak from experience. Enjoy the holidays with those worth the time.

Helmink0804

I'm trying not to dwell- it's just hard. I just hope FIL comes around and doesn't cancel Christmas. I don't want to have to explain all this when she's older! I'm pretty sure my FIL isn't happy since it's my bday today and I didn't get a happy bday text from him like I did last year.