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TTC After a Loss
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XP: BFN. Not a shocker

O2girlO2girl member
in TTC After a Loss
it still sucks though. A little part of me was hoping that the RE would call and say it was a super low beta but let's retest in a couple days. Obviously that is an irrational thought process, but it was played out in my head.

Now I have to wait until the 27th for my WTF appt because my RE is going out of town. So now I enter another version of the 2ww. Waiting is the name of the game in ivf.......and I'm used to it now.

By the point of the WTF appt I will have turned 38...... Probably getting too old for this shit. I'm kinda bummed about that. I wish I had more time.

My RE did let me know that he is upset about this because the embryo looked so good and promising. Reality-- I can make embryos, my uterus just kills them.

This process has taken a lot out of me. It has broken me in a sense. I used to have hope; that is quickly diminishing. I remember coming into this as ignorant as a child, thinking I should have no issues because look at my sister -- she has 5 after all. Nothing could have prepared me for repeated failures. Nothing could have prepared me for the losses. None of this is fair. And I am beyond frustrated. It hurts my soul to know that I'm actually getting used to the failures so much that I barely cried this time. I'm angry. I'm angry with my body. I feel like a failure. My self esteem has been affected by these failures. I am forever changed.

I just wish this would happen.
Me: 38
DX:  Adenomyosis, Compounded MTHFR, PAI-1 4G variant

DH: 34
MFI due to Testicular Cancer

Married March 2012 <3
IVF w/ICSI #1
10 little polar bears
FET #1 with 2 polar bears ~Nov 6, 2013 BFN :(
FET # 2 with 2 more polar bears ~March 19, 2014 BFP!!!
Beta 1= 276
Beta 2= 662
4/19/14 ~ baby A became an angel
5/02/14 ~ baby B became an angel
5/3/14 ~ D&C
FET #3 with 1 male polar bear ~October 3, 2014
October 13, 2014 ~ BFN
Fur Children:  Memphis 3y, Dutch 3y, Marcel 2y, Meadow 1y



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January 2015 Siggy Challenge TTCAL
Animals Interacting with Snow

image


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Re: XP: BFN. Not a shocker

  • PinkCaminoPinkCamino member
    I'm so sorry ((((hugs))))
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  • mflowers929mflowers929 member
    *big hugs* I'm so so sorry sweetie. I wish there was something to say to make it better :-(
    Momma to 3 angels and two amazing children
    F born June 2018
    W born September 2020
    #3 due November 2022
    Report Reply
  • eliidaeliida member
    I'm so so sorry. ((hugs))
    Report Reply
  • RachaeleighRachaeleigh member
    Damn. So sorry

    4 Losses (2003, 2008, Apr 2012, & Oct 2012)
    All RPL and IF testing with multiple REs = normal

    5 IUIs = BFN

    All AL are welcome
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

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  • Km380Km380 member
    I'm so sorry (((hugs)))

    PgAL welcome


    Married 6/11/2011

    Me & Hubby: 34

    TTC journey started 12/2012

    BFP #1 6/5/2013, MC confirmed 6/26/2013 @ 7 wks

    BFP#2 8/25/2013 MC confirmed 10/16/2013 @ 12 wks (D&C 10/18)

    Diagnosis: unexplained RPL, unexplained IF.

    Also have hypothyroidism

    Started TTC again 12/2013

     

    IUI#1:Clomid CD 3-7, Trigger'ed CD 12. IUI CD 14. BFN

    IUI #2:Letrozole CD 3 - 7, Follistim CD 9, Trigger CD 10, IUI CD12. BFN

    Current plan: IVF with PGD. Antagonist - Vivelle Protocal. Stim start 12/1. ER 12/14.

    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/502498

    image imageimage

    image


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  • skategirl128skategirl128 member
    I'm so sorry! Big hugs sent your way!
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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  • LizBlueLizBlue member
    I'm so sorry @O2girl‌ I wish there was anything I could say to you that would help. But I know there's not. I'm just sending hugs and love. I'm here if you need an ear or a shoulder.
    ----
    *I am no longer regularly posting on TB because of the fucked up debacle of Jan 2015 when administrators banned long-term members and mods with no notice and completely dismantled a community full of women who cared about each other.  If you see me posting it's only to give support to a poster who needs it or to post something important enough that I need to say.  I am no longer responding to  anything other than issues that affect people who I care about*
    37 years old, MH is 42
    TTC since 2010; Dx Unexplained Infertility; possible male factor 
    August 2012 through June 2013:  6 IUIs with clomid and trigger shot, all BFNs
    7/2013, Pregnant! Unmedicated--we were on a treatment break
    8/20/13 no heart beat; 8/23/13 d&c
    3/15/14 IVF #1:  Lupron/Follistim/Menopur; ER 3/10 resulting in four transfer grade blastocysts, transferred one pretty blast and froze the remaining three. BFN. 
    Natural FET in May cancelled because the universe hates me my hormones were not cooperating.
    6/24/14 FET #1: transferred two pretty embryos; BFN   
    8/28/14 FET #2: BFP, ended in Chemical pregnancy

    Done with medical intervention and getting used to the idea of CFNBC.  




    All welcome
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    I'm so sorry.   IF sucks and IF with losses sucks even more.   Big (((HUGS)))
    Report Reply
  • FrenchteachermamaFrenchteachermama member
    I hate this for you.  I'm here if you need me.  ((hugs))



    imageimageimage
    image
    My FF Chart:
    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/490dd7
    TTC #3 since June 2013
    BFP #1 7/21/2013--EDD 3/30/14--D&C 9/24/13
    BFP #2 1/28/14--MC 2/7/14
    IUI #1 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
    IUI #2 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
    IUI #3 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
    IVF #1, Stimmed for 12 days, ER 8/22/14, 9 retrieved, 7M, 7F!!  Freeze all due to fluid in uterus.
    FET end of October 2014 cancelled due to fluid in uterus due to possible c-scar defect
    Surgery scheduled 12/12/14 to fix possible isthmocele
    3/26/15 transferred one 8 cell grade 4 embryo and one 6 cell grade 3 embryo = slow rising betas for 2+ weeks = ectopic MTX shot 4/29/15
    Repeat c-scar surgery June 2015
    2nd and last IVF cycle August 2015, stimmed for 12 days, 2 egg retrieved, both mature and both fertilized.  Transferred both 8-cell embryos on Day 3, beta 9/5/15 = BFFN
    MOVING TO ADOPTION!  


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  • nikiswimrnikiswimr member
    I'm so sorry. ((hugs))
    Me: 32 DH: 32
    Met: 4/25/2004, Married 8/14/2010
    Off BC 1/2013 TTC (actively) since 5/2013
    5/2014 started testing with RE, me:  HSG normal, normal AMH, no cysts; DH: great sperm
    Unexplained IF + unexplained anovulation (post-pill vs hypothalamic)

    7/2014 Clomid (monitored) + TI: BFN
    8/2014 Clomid (monitored) + TI: BFP #1: 9/12/2014, EDD 5/22/2015, MMC 10/11/2014 8w1d
    11/2014 Clomid + Novarel + IUI 12/5/14: BFFN
    12/2014 Comid + Novarel + IUI 1/3/15: ???

    **PgAL/PAL welcome**

    Report Reply
  • ctk181ctk181 member
    I'm so sorry. :(
    Married: 4/28/12
    BFP: 7/2/14 ;  1st US 7/21/14 Baby measuring 7w5d, HB of 138;  Discovered MMC 8/18/14 at 11w2d, baby measuring 8w5d, no hb ; 8/19/14 D&C
    image

    TTCAL December siggy challenge - Autocorrect Fails

    image

    | <a href="http://www.fertilityfriend.com" style="font-size:smaller;" >Ovulation Tracker</My Chart

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  • MSU_Girl1202MSU_Girl1202 member
    I'm so sorry sweetie. I hate this so so much. I know there's nothing that can make it better, but feel free to PM me if you want to talk / vent. xo
    Married 07/2006, TTC since 2010
    08/2011: Clomid 50mg, IUI --> BFN  ,
    10/2011: Clomid 100mg, IUI --> BFN
    04/13: Clomid, IUI BFP --> MC at 6w1d
    05/13: Femara 2.5mg, IUI --> BFN  , 08/13: Femara 2.5mg --> BFN
    03/14: Femara 5mg, IUI --> 1 follicle @ 27d --> BFP! EDD 12/02/14--> blighted ovum, missed MC 6w6d --> D&C
    4/23: D&C...starting over again, with a little part of my heart broken off
    5/31: Femara 7.5mg --> cancelled cycle, no follies
    7/14: Femara 5mg + brevelle + menopur + IUI --> converted to IVF, ER 7/28 --> ET cancelled due to severe OHSS.
    9/20/14:  Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP--> EDD 6/6/15 --> MC at 5w3d      
    10/16/14: Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFN
    2/6/15: Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP --> MC at 5w4d
    3/20/16: PGS-tested Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP, Living Child born 12/1/15
    6/6/17: Fresh IVF Cycle --> Severe OHSS, 5 PGS-tested embryos frozen
    2/23/18: PGS-tested FET --> BFN
    3/30/18: Cancelled cycle due to lining 4.2mm
    6/21/18: PGS-tested FET --> BFN
    Report Reply
  • jjbmstincojjbmstinco member
    ((hugs)) I am so sorry love. 

    December 4                     image

    Married-1/2012
    TTC-8/2013   BFP-4/18/14  EDD: 12/29/12 MC-5/17/14 @ 7w4d
    BFP #2-11/13/14  EDD: 7/26/14  Beta #1: 11/14/13 (135 progesterone: 19.5)   Beta #2" 11/17/14 (733 ) 
    Hoping for good news!

    Everyone Welcome

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  • meredithcarolemeredithcarole member
    I'm so sorry.
    TTCAL January Siggy Challenge: Animals in the Snow

    image

      
    About Me: 

    AMA 35 :  DH 33
    BFP#1 1/26/14 (EDD: 10/7/14).  MMC 3/10/14 D&C 3/14/14
    RE Consult 11/3/14 - AMH 2.25 "great" . FSH 7.10 . Low Vitamin D
    Myomectomy 12/17/14.  Benched until March.

    image

    My Ovulation Chart
    Report Reply
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    I'm so sorry. ((hugs))
    Report Reply
  • foodie12rnfoodie12rn member
    ((((Hugs))))
    Me: 28, DH: 33
    Married 10.12.11
     BFP #1: 5.30.12- Giannna, born 1.27.13
    BFP #2: 9.18.14- due 6.1.15 -- natural m/c @ 5w6d 
    BFP #3 11.2.14- due 7.16.14 -- mmc, d&c @ 10w1d

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic  image 


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  • kittymeowbarkkittymeowbark member
    I am so so sorry. This process is so draining and so unfair. Lots of hugs!!
    Yelena + Rubere Married: 05/13/2011
    TTC since 2012
    BFP#1~  EDD: 06/21/2014  ~  TFMR --Holoprosencephaly 
    Said goodbye on 2/10/2014 at 21 weeks. We miss our baby girl "J"
    My Chart image
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    image
    imageimage
    imageimageimage      
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  • rubysirubysi member
    I am so sorry.


    image

    image
                ***TTCAL January siggy challenge ***
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  • alm288alm288 member
    I'm so sorry :( This process sucks and is unfair! I was also completely ignorant when we started TTC and feel like my personality has changed (not for the better). I wish I could say something or do something to make it better. ((((Hugs))))
    TTC: Since July 2013
    BFP #1: EDD 05/27/2014 (D&C 10/17/2014)
    Report Reply
  • uromysuromys member

    I'm so sorry! (((HUGS)))

    DH & I are both 28    Together: 12 years    Married: 09/24/2011

    BFP#1: January '12 - DD1 09/16/2012

    Preterm labor 31 weeks. Monitored for Hellp and diagnosed with oligohydramnios July '12

    BFP #2: 06/25 - EDD 03/05/15 MMC confirmed 8/1 - D&E 8/4 retained tissue discovered 8/20

    BFP #3 11/24 - 12/15 Heartbeat detected - DD2 07/29/15

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  • buggirl72buggirl72 member
    I am so sorry ((((hugs)))).

    The day the Bump died - Jasper is wise
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
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  • tigerlynx31413tigerlynx31413 member
    I'm so sorry! Hugs!

    BFP #1 7/6/2012, EDD 3/13/2013, Delivered 3/14/2013

    BFP #2 1/7/2014: EDD:9/14 MC: 1/9/2014 (confirmed via blood work)

    BFP #3 7/5/2014: EDD 3/11/2015 MC: 7/15/2014

    BFP #4 11/7/2014: EDD 7/17/2015~~Please be my RAINBOW!

    My Chart

    image image image

    All are Welcome!

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  • ashlee113085ashlee113085 member
    ((hugs)) I am so sorry. 



    image

    image

    My Ovulation Chart
    Report Reply
  • rmpar29rmpar29 member
    I'm so very sorry.  ((((HUGS)))
    TTC #3 since 8/2012 image
    DX Endometriosis 2/2002 (lost left tube due to a cyst), PCOS     6/2010
     BFP - 10/18/2012, EDD - 6/26/2013, Baby Girl lost at 22 weeks (T21), D&E 2/15/2013
    BFP - 4/23/2014, EDD - 1/2/2015 Twin Boys lost at 12 weeks, M/C 6/25/2014
    My chart here  All ALers welcome!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    June 3Missing Our January Snowflake
    Report Reply
  • rslh10rslh10 member
    ((hugs)) I am so so sorry. 
    image
    Hubs & I -29 • Met 5/18/04 • Married 5/8/10
    BFP #1 DS 2/7/11 (Born @ 34 wks via ECS due to Pre-e) TTC #2 since Aug '13
    DX Low AMH (.58) March '14 • FSH-7.5 • E2-35.5 (Nov '14)
    SA- Great numbers • SIS- Clear (Nov '14)
     Cycle 1- Clomid CD3-7 & Trigger-BFP • EDD 1/12/15 
    Ectopic @ 5w6d • Methotrexate Shot 5/18/14
    Cycle 2,3,4- Clomid CD3-7 & Trigger-- BFN
    Cycle 5- Letrozole CD3-7 & Trigger BFFN
    image
    • Everyone Welcome •
    TTCAL January Siggy Challenge • Animal Snow Interactions
    image


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  • BookishMommaBookishMomma member
    I'm so sorry, O2. It doubly sucks that you have to wait another 2 weeks to have your next appointment. ((hugs))
    image
    image
    DX: I'm a Recurrent Loser
    Me (35) + DH (37) - Married Sept. 2007
    BFP #1 - DS born 7/11/11
    BFP#2 11/13/13 - EDD 7/29/14 - M/C at 5w3d
    BFP #3 12/28/13 - EDD 9/7/14 - M/C at 4w6d
    BFP#4 3/27/14 -  EDD 12/5/14 - Girl lost to 45X at 8w6d - D&C 
    BFP#5 10/15/14 - EDD 6/30/15 - M/C at 7w2d
    BFP #6 1/5/15 - EDD 9.16.14 [CLICKY for progress]
    In search of a image


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  • Tablefor5Tablefor5 member
    I'm so sorry ...biggest of ((HUGS))
    Report Reply
  • mrskelly731mrskelly731 member
    :( I'm so sorry. ((hugs))
    Husband and Wife 2010
    DD 12.2010
    TTC #2 Since Aug 2012
    DX PCOS 7.25.13
    Started Metformin 7.2013
    DH SA results 6.19.14 - Too few normal sperm
    8.13.14 - SURPRISE BFP - EDD 3/30/14 Based on LMP
    MMC 9/24/14, D&C 9/25/14 13w3d, Measured at 7w4d
     
    3.14.15 BFP #3 - EDD 11/11/15 based on LMP
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  • flyoffeveflyoffeve member

    (Hugs) I am so sorry.

     

    And another (Hugs).

    Me: 31 DH: 36
    Dated Since ‘02, Married in ‘06
    BFP#1 05/16/06, EDD01/16/07, MC 06/12/06 at 8 weeks
    BFP #2 08/14/14, EDD 04/22/15, MC 09/17/14 at 9 weeks

    image 

     My Chart

    Report Reply
  • bunnybun4bunnybun4 member
    I am so, so sorry...my heart is breaking for you right now.  big ((hugs))

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    8/12-Suprise BFP- Sweet Bunny Born Sleeping 11/21/12 (19 weeks)

    -5/7/13- MMC (8 Weeks)

    11/6/13- BO discovered at 7 weeks- natural MC 11/25/13

    8/14- Surpise IF dx...low AMH (.24)- moving on to IVF

    IVF #1- 11/14- 6R5M4F=2 perfect frosties

    12/19/14- FET of 2 embabies = BFP!!!  One Little Bean EDD: 9/3/15

    Everyone Welcome.

    Report Reply
  • MrsPhD83MrsPhD83 member
    I'm so sorry :( ((hugs))
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Me: 31, DH: 30, Married July 2013
    TTC since March 2014
    BFP#1  5.17.14, EDD 1.26.15, MMC (measuring 6w3d at 8w3d), D&C 6.26.14
    BFP#2  9.19.14, EDD 5.29.15, AF on 9.23.14 CP
    BFP#3  12.17.14, EDD 8.25.15, AF on 12.21.14 CP#2

    Current plan: TTC while waiting for RPL results to come back
    Stalk my ute
    Report Reply
  • Rocks526Rocks526 member
    Losses suck and to add IF the mix, it only makes it worse. I wish I had words for you, but I can only offer (((hugs))).
    Report Reply
  • hullabalouhullabalou member
    I am so sorry :( ((hugs))
    Married 6/2013, TTC 9/2013.
    ***TW***
    MC 12/2013, Blighted Ovum 04/2014, CP 06/2014
    Began RPL testing 07/2014
    BFP #4 10/26/2014; Theo born 07/2015
    BFP #5 06/17/2017, EDD 02/28/18


    BabyFruit Ticker
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  • O2girlO2girl member
    All the love brought tears to my eyes and comfort to my heart. Thank you each and everyone of you ladies for being so amazing. Xo
    Me: 38
    DX:  Adenomyosis, Compounded MTHFR, PAI-1 4G variant

    DH: 34
    MFI due to Testicular Cancer

    Married March 2012 <3
    IVF w/ICSI #1
    10 little polar bears
    FET #1 with 2 polar bears ~Nov 6, 2013 BFN :(
    FET # 2 with 2 more polar bears ~March 19, 2014 BFP!!!
    Beta 1= 276
    Beta 2= 662
    4/19/14 ~ baby A became an angel
    5/02/14 ~ baby B became an angel
    5/3/14 ~ D&C
    FET #3 with 1 male polar bear ~October 3, 2014
    October 13, 2014 ~ BFN
    Fur Children:  Memphis 3y, Dutch 3y, Marcel 2y, Meadow 1y



    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    January 2015 Siggy Challenge TTCAL
    Animals Interacting with Snow

    image


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  • jms627jms627 member
    I'm so, so sorry you're going through this :(

    ***Siggy Warning - loss mentioned***

    image

    Pregnancy Ticker

    *S15 Siggy January Siggy Challenge - Happy Dance*

    image

    ME: 32   DH: 38

    BFP#1 - 7/18/14; EDD 3/23/14; MMC 8/11/14 (passed naturally on 8/17/14)

    BFP#2 - 12/29/14; EDD 9/10/15 *PLEASE BE OUR RAINBOW!*

    image


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  • MyFirstRaspberryMyFirstRaspberry member
    I wish I had more to offer than ((hugs)). Thinking of you.

    * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

    TTC #1 since June 2012
    Current Status:  IVF with ICSI and PGS
    Genetic, RPL, SA and Fertility testing = Normal/Good        HSG = All Clear
    BFP #1 12.30.2012  ||  Blighted Ovum 02.05.2013  ||  D&C 02.11.2013
    BFP #2 09.10.2013  ||  c/p 09.12.2013
    BFP #3 12.1.2013  ||  mm/c  01.15.14  ||  D&C 01.21.14  chromosome abnormality
    May 2014:  Residual HCG and retained tissue found
    05.13.2014:  Hysteroscopy D&C to find and remove retained tissue
    June 2014:  Tissue sample results indicate a partial molar pregnancy
    May - Aug 2014:   TTA for monitoring and testing
    08.21.2014:  Hysteroscopy to remove minor scar tissue - the result of 3 D&Cs
    Sept/Oct: IUI #1  Femara + Bravelle + Ovidrel = BFN
    Oct/Nov: IUI #2  Femara + Ovidrel = BFN
    Nov/Dec: IUI #3  Femara + Bravelle + Ovidrel = BFN

    My Ovulation Chart  || *~*~All AL Welcome~*~* ||  DIY Blog

    imagehttp://i59.tinypic.com/v5ztqr.jpg  image

    image image 

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  • ellebelle2384ellebelle2384 member
    I'm so sorry.  Huge ((hugs))
    Me: 31     DH: 33
    Dx: Me: Recurrent Pregnancy Loss; DH: Low Morphology (2%)
    BFP#1: MC 3/1/11 at 6w1d - EDD 10/21/11
    BFP#2: 5/3/11 - EDD 1/9/12 - DD Born 1/6/12
    image
    TTC #2 since 12/13
    BFP#3: MC 2/8/14 at 4w5d - EDD 10/13/14
    BFP#4: MC 5/6/14 at 4w4d - EDD 1/9/15
    BFP#5: MMC discovered 8/4/14 at 9w1d - D&C 8/5/14 - Baby Boy with Trisomy 16 (maternal origin) - EDD 3/8/15
    BFP#6: CP 11/6/14 at 4w2d - EDD 7/14/15
    IVF #1 with ICSI & PGS: May/June 2015, ER 6/3/15, 17R/17M/15F
    IVF #2 with ICSI & PGS: July 2015, ER 7/16/15, 16R/11M/9F
    PGS results = 6 normal embryos (4 boys, 2 girls)
    FET 9/23/15 = BFFN
    Natural FET 11/4/15 = BFP!
    Beta 9dp5dt = 92

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  • natalie115natalie115 member
    I am so so sorry (((hugs)))

    Started TTC Nov. 2011 

    1st clomid cycle June 2012- No response :: HSG August 2012- Left tube blocked, right tube clear :: 2nd clomid cycle Aug. 2012 BFN :: 3rd clomid cycle Sept. 2012 :: BFP Sept 30th :: DS born 6/15/13 :: BFP #2 7/29/14 M/C 8/5/14 :: BFP#3 10/20/14 DD born 7/1/2015 :: Applied to be surrogate April '17 :: Transferred 1 Embryo for IFs Dec. '17 :: Surro Babe born 9/11/18 :: Started 2nd Journey May '19 :: Transferred 1 Embryo for new IFs 9/24/19 :: HB 138 at 6w6d


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  • StephieMKStephieMK member
    I'm so sorry! (((Hugs)))
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Married April 9, 2011
    TTC since October 2011
    Me 34, DH 40

    IUI #5 w/ Tamoxifen+Ovidrel+Acupuncture Oct 24, 2014-->BFP!!! EDD July 17, 2015. Panorama=low risk...and it's a GIRL!
    DD born July 10, 2015
    --------------------------------------------------------
    Trying for baby #2!
    IUI #1 w/ Tamoxifen+Ovidrel+Acupuncture July 10, 2017-->BFP!!! EDD Apr 2, 2018. Panorama=low risk...and another GIRL!

    BabyFetus Ticker
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