Monday Bitchfest

TheOtherJacobsons

Do we still do these? I have something to bitch about and it's Monday.

[Deleted User]

I can't bitch when I see such cute pics of your LO. I have serious baby envy.

pnwlover12

Fuck yeah.

Still pregnant. I-)

TheOtherJacobsons

Ok, I am going to make this quick. Baby is sleeping and I want to take a shower before the crack of 2pm.

I had baby furniture on my registry, not because I thought anyone would buy it for me, but because I wanted the cash back from my registry when I did buy it. My MIL offered to buy the baby furniture for me as her gift to us as that is what she did with her daughter's baby. Totally awesome! She told me to pick out something nicer. We picked out what we would have been able to afford, since that's what we were going to buy, but she wanted to give us a nicer set. So, I found a nicer set and ordered it. This was at the end of August.

The night stand and dresser arrived in September and the crib was in transit. The shipper (UPS) showed the crib as being delivered and on hand at their location. I didn't really know what that meant, so I contacted BRU to see if they could get more information. They had me on hold and contacted UPS. Apparently UPS could not locate the crib and since there were no other cribs in stock, they could not ship another one to me. They opened an investigation and gave me a reference number and told me it would be 10-14 days for a resolution. Mind you, I had just had my baby, so I didn't have time to babysit it.

About a week ago, I contacted BRU to see if there was any news. Instead of contacting me for a resolution, they issued a refund minus the shipping as the item had been returned to BRU by UPS... After a lengthy phone call with BRU, I got them to refund the shipping. However, they do not back order items and would not send me another one or track down the crib that had been returned. Apparently they do not have the ability to do this or anything useful for that matter. 

They told me that I should work with my local store to see if they could ship one for pick up in store from another store. Long story short, there is only 1 in stock that is a display model. I contacted the manufacturer who assured me that more would be shipped by the end of the month. BRU is unable to guarantee that I receive one. It's a fucking shit show. I have no idea how they are in business.

I contacted my local store and the customer service with them is like 1000 times better than the online customer service, however, they also cannot back order it or do anything but tell me to call back every week to see if they can find one in stock for me. After talking to the manager more he told me that they would have been able to order one for me, but there are too many people in line ahead of me. I guess they have 12 orders to fill and he said he can't even put an order in with that many. Not sure why, but I was at least getting more info. I told him how angry I was, not at him, but at the situation. I mean, I now have two pieces of furniture that I no longer want and cannot return and my options are to wait and see if I can get one of these cribs or order something that is not part of this set. 

Now yes, I could order some random white crib, but I feel like BRU should get me one of these damn cribs. It's not like it's popular and if it is, I did NOT pick it because of it's popularity. 

[Deleted User]

@TheOtherJacobsons‌ Wow, that sucks I'm actually a little surprised BRU is giving you all this grief. From a customer service standpoint, they seem head and shoulders above Target and Kohls. Hope they get their act together asap and you get the crib you want!

golfingdarwinfish

sweetadeline31 said:

Bitch away! I will join you! The radiating electric shocks on my back are seriously getting old. They happen regularly at this point and take my breath away and cause me to tear up every time. Ouch! ( Also, I was out and about looking for a cute onsie or something for baby to wear for Halloween and I couldn't find NB sizes or 0-3 in anything! I went to 5 stores! I could order one online tomorrow, I suppose. What the hell? Stores, don't you understand my need to pose baby by a festive pumpkin and/or mum for a photo op?

The Halloween stuff sold out in September!  Crazy!

golfingdarwinfish

@theotherjacobsons

That's really frustrating!  Have you googled the manufacturer to see if it's one of the few that are currently going out of business and as such having supply issues?  it sounds like a manufacturer issue with them having enough supply to even give a crib to BRU, and maybe not a BRU issue?

MuffinMom14

crawford411 said:

My MIL is insanely jealous of my sister's MIL (will call her Di for ease) because I have a good relationship with her. My MIL is finally coming down to meet the baby Saturday. Di, who didn't know this, posted on FB that she will be in town this weekend and would love to meet the baby. I posted back that MIL had first dibs this weekend but we would try to squeeze her in. MIL makes a nasty comment about how Di is trying to steal HER GRANDDAUGHTER (all caps too). Let's just say that I calmly and respectfully shut that shit down over the phone with MIL. She will be issuing an apology to Di and changing her attitude, as Di has been a good family friend longer than I've known MIL and DH. I also made her remove her comment and I let Di know that she can see the baby whenever she wants. I am determined to shut down the MIL shenanigans from here on out, because baby is not going to be another thing for her to be nutty about. I'm just pissed that she would take a happy thing like a new baby and turn it into a pissing war to assuage her own insecurities. Next time, she gets a throat punch. But for now... Crawford 1, MIL 0.

Teach me how to do this with my mom, please.

MuffinMom14

MrsCunningham22 said:

I feel like nowadays there is SO much info of what you shouldn't do for you newborn it's amazing FTM don't go crazy with worry.
From breastfeeding to flat head etc it can be overwhelming at times.
Last night my mom was telling me she is glad she raised us when she did when moms used their instinct more. I am glad we have all this info now but man it can really mess with your head sometimes.

I'm 100% freaked out about flat head now.

Because that's what I choose to freak out about today. I'll let you know what tomorrow's freak out is.

MuffinMom14

@TheOtherJacobsons, I would be PISSED THE FUCK OFF. Yes, you can order something else, but that is NOT THE POINT. ALL THE CAPS.

I'd honestly be like "ok, well, cancel that order, and come pick up this other furniture that is supposed to match it. I don't have a reciept, and it's been used, but come get it, and refund me, and I'm going elsewhere." I would be a LUNATIC.

I bitched about Target endlessly, but they did ship my shit in like 2 days. It was bumped and scratched, but they gave me $100 off because of it. When I bitch, I demand results. Start big, and they might meet you in the middle. I would be using the "I have this baby ALREADY, I cannot put her in a trash can to sleep" excuse OVER and OVER.

Phew. I feel really flustered after this post.

golfingdarwinfish

Awesome work @crawford411!!  Way to put your foot down and set a precedent!! 

My MIL referred to LO as "our baby" on DH's facebook wall today.  It's the first time she ever did that, and I didn't even notice it for a bit.  I texted DH to see if he noticed (he can be oblivious), and he said yes, and that he almost deleted it.  

I really hope this isn't the start of something ugly.  She also told my mom she bought him multiple holiday outfits, and can't wait to have him over for Christmas Eve (which we told her isn't happening as we will start hosting this year.). /sigh/

lrobi13

@TheOtherJacobsons‌. Seriously? How is all that even possible. How is one of the biggest box stores in the country unable to fill orders. That would drive me even crazier. Sorry that they suck.

If it makes you feel any better my lo is over 2 weeks old and his "nursery " still looks like a guest bedroom. The crib we will use is still occupied by a 3 year old.

TheOtherJacobsons

I really feel for the people with grandmama drama. I have already gone through some of it myself with both of them and I am sure there's more where that came from.

My MIL told me that she wanted to be there for the birth of my baby. She said she wanted to be there to hold my hand. I should have addressed it when it came up, but instead of ruining mother's day dinner, I told her I hadn't really given any thought to my birth plan. Fast forward to the day of delivery. We had intended to talk to her about our plans for delivery, but our kid showed up 3 weeks early. Instead we had to tell her the day of that we just wanted it to be DH and the doula there. She was so upset that she didn't show up to the hospital with FIL. Instead she said she was too busy and went to the 49ers game. She told us she was really upset we couldn't set aside some time just for her and wanted to know what she had done to deserve that. Uuuum, what? This really upset DH. He was super sad that his mom was behaving this way.

Then there's my mom... Called her the evening of the day I went into labor so she could be ready to come up to visit the next day. Told her we wanted visitors the next day (we told this to all our immediate family). She came up and about 10am we texted that people could come by the hospital. She showed up first and had a good half hour before anyone else visited. Both SILs came and my mom was a total bitch to the SIL who offered to throw me the shower. Had her back to her the whole time and made shitty remarks. They all left and the next day we had to deal with the jaundice stuff so we told my mom to hang back. MIL decided she wanted to visit after all so we told her to come by about an hour before we were discharged. My mom had offered to cook us dinner, so she was at our house when we got home. She told us during dinner that she had been depressed all day that we had had visitors when she was here. We didn't have visitors, we were in the hospital worried about our baby and unable to console her while she was in light therapy.

I wish someone would have told me the grandmothers would lose their fucking minds as soon as the kid showed up.

asarem93

I am so tired! I know we all are but ugh! Today is my last full day at work, and my due date. If I don't have this baby by Thursday I will only be coming in for a couple hours to avoid starting my maternity leave until I have him. Luckily I'm off the next 2 days. I need sleep!

Lindzoid

I'm sick of the daily calls and or text messages from people asking if I am still pregnant. Yes. I'm still pregnant. Don't you think I would have told you if I had the baby?!?!?!?!?? Ugh

pnwlover12

Grandparents get so weird and possessive over babies. I remember when DD was born, the day after we got home from the hospital, DH went and picked up MIL and brought her to our place to see LO. She was there a good hour or two before we all piled back in the car to take her home, so that FIL and great-grandpa could meet her.

When we got to their place, I got my camera out and took a picture of FIL meeting and holding Layla, and MIL threw this giant shit fit about how we must not want any pictures of her and DD because I never took a picture of them at our house - keep in mind this is the first time I got my camera out period. So I tried telling her I just hadn't gotten a photo of them yet and I would take one right then. Well, I took the pic, and it is hilarious. MIL looks so pissed off in the picture and she's not looking at the camera at all. Sometimes I'll open that picture up on my computer just to get a giggle.

lotsobabies

@TheOtherJacobsons‌ Is the manufacturer Baby Cache by chance? I heard a rumor yesterday that they were possibly going under. This could possibly be the reason for the limited availability

TheOtherJacobsons

@swayda‌ Well, motherfucker. Yep, that's them.

pinkshades05

I'm in the camp of wishing my MIL actually wanted to get to know her grandchildren. She's the type that likes the idea of them and will hold the babies but as DD1 has gotten older, she doesn't interact with her at all. DD1 has no idea this lady she sees once a year is her grandma.

As I've been posting pictures of Chloe on Facebook, she comments about wanting to snuggle with her. In my head I think how she has the chance every year to spend time with her grandchildren but chooses to focus on other things instead. And it's not our fault she moved across the country for no reason. I hope she understands one day that you can't buy relationships.

MrsSarahRenee

My DHs boss said they would pay him one week paternity leave or two weeks half pay each week. Nice of him. This was like 6 mos ago. I asked DH to follow up on that. He didn't until Fri and his boss said no paternity leave. Fuck him. So I was a wreck all weekend thinking about bills and how we would figure this out etc. Would DH have to leave me at the hospital to work a couple days etc.
Today, he said "don't worry I will cover your paternity leave one two weeks whatever you want."
Perfect! Right? No, he was drunk and there is no guarantee that he will remember. Sigh.
Also he calls what we women do "calving." Did I mention he is single?

Nichole7041

I can now join the lovely ladies who get to deal w all day contractions and still no baby

MorganWP

I just LOVE spending most of the weekend at SO's parents' house. Especially when it comes after "We'll just be here for an hour. I have to get some work done".

lotsobabies

@TheOtherJacobsons‌ Ugh, that sucks!

From what I know about the stores I've worked at in Michigan 80% of the furniture is not kept stocked in the store and has to be ordered from the warehouse. The back rooms just aren't big enough to keep all of the furniture stocked on a day to day basis. So recommending you check another store would probably prove pointless.

However, sometimes, TRU and BRU operate out of different warehouses. So I would recommend calling your local TRU and see if they are able to order for you

Good luck!

ETA: The reason they can't order is because there aren't any in THEIR warehouse. Just adding clarity for my second paragraph.

Lindzoid

Sorry @Nichole7041‌ it's a terrible feeling....is this it? Nope....is this it?? Nope. I just remind myself someday it will end.

Jennifer18131

I'm reserving my bitching for after my appointment tomorrow if there's no progress. 

MrsSarahRenee

Jennifer18131 said:

I'm reserving my bitching for after my appointment tomorrow if there's no progress. 

Because you only get so much in a week? Come on lady we are pregnant. I have a quota for the day I usually fill

windwithfingers

I thought I had a bitch, but it's more of a sad, I guess. I'm just pissed that I have this sweet little boy, and he has no daddy. Or rather, he has a dad, but he's dead, and I have to figure out how to keep DH alive for our boy as he gets older and asks what happened to his daddy. And the truth is, we don't know. His death certificate says "natural causes" which really means they don't know/there's no medical reason why he died. And I have to try to explain that to DS when he gets older. And I hate that.

Some days I just feel like I could drown in all these feelings. This might be an over share. I'm just so tired, physically and emotionally. This board keeps me sane most of the time.

MrsSarahRenee

@windwithfingers‌ Lots and lots of hugs for you and DS.

Nichole7041

@windwithfingers‌ we will do our best to keep you entertained

On a serious note I can't imagine what you are going through. Lots of creepy internet hugs and t&p coming your way

MuffinMom14

The professional advice being offered in the flat head thread is making me crazy.

MuffinMom14

I was thinking about you today, @windwithfingers‌. I think about you randomly a lot. I just thought that most of the time you seem so upbeat and like you are really holding it together for your kid, even though I know this is the most difficult thing in the world. I just think you are really brave. I wanted you to know.

angeltennis3

Every time I have a contraction, I can feel a pain in my lady bits. I am hoping this means that they are at least productive contractions...maybe?

pnwlover12

SPurp13 said:

The professional advice being offered in the flat head thread is making me crazy.

My DD slept in her swing the first 10-12 weeks. She literally would not sleep elsewhere. Her head is totes fine. I know that is anecdotal, but try not to stress over it too much. Just keep baby in other positions during awake time.

pnwlover12

SPurp13 said:

I was thinking about you today, @windwithfingers‌. I think about you randomly a lot. I just thought that most of the time you seem so upbeat and like you are really holding it together for your kid, even though I know this is the most difficult thing in the world. I just think you are really brave. I wanted you to know.

^WSS. You are amazing.

MuffinMom14

My bitch is so stupid. I've posted about how FIL kind of doesn't care about our lives (he's nice, he's just never in touch and refuses to visit even though he's only an hour away). Then I've posted about my BIL and his useless wife.

Well I just lost it today when BIL'S wife posted pictures of her new house on Facebook. They never even told us they were buying a house. They are so out of touch. They do not care about us, and dint want us to be a part of their lives (yet we planned their second wedding reception with no thank you). And I just felt like shit that BIL, wife, or FIL haven't asked about the baby at all. They just don't give a shit. I just keep thinking how nice it must be to not have to worry about a newborn and to buy a new house and they don't have to worry about not getting sleep or having hospital bills.

I'm so lucky to have my MIL. I know that. But my feelings are hurt. I want them to be a part of our lives. And the FIL thing is worse, since my dad would have loved to have met this baby.

These people will show up for pictures and leave. And I don't want to let them. Fuck them. I want people to know they don't care about us and I won't fake a relationship if they make no effort.

I had big ugly cries. It just felt like no one cares about this baby, and with this depression, I'm trying to force myself to care about her. Logically, I know I will love her. But the depression is not making it easy to feel it. My husband says it will change once I see her. But that's not always true. My doctor suggested upping my dose. I'm going to do it, I think.

windwithfingers

Thanks, ladies. I have less time to wallow in my feelings now that DS is here, plus I have this sense that since nothing I can do will bring Brett back, I just have to keep surviving as best I can. It's sort of a way of honoring his memory, I guess. Some days I can almost joke about it in a dark sort of way. Almost. Today is not one of those days.

@SPurp13‌ :x

MollyC20

Ladies with difficult MILs stay strong and don't be afraid to speak up! I didn't want to "ruffle any feathers" with my MIL when DD got here, and things like MIL holding Caroline while taking the very FIRST pic of her putting an ornament her first Christmas, me not seeing my daughter at all during her baptism or party because of ILs hogging her, or literally taking pics with Caroline and anyone else in the family BUT ME (seriously I told DH if you looked at her pics you'd think Caroline didn't have a mom), or both ILs making little comments about when am I going to be done BFing so they can have her, etc....

I will say 2 yrs later it is (a bit) easier... But now dealing with "stop feeding her chocolate cake!!! She's had 3 pieces thanks to you!!" Or "no! She's never had soda and doesn't need any!!!"


All I have to say is try to grow a pair sooner rather than later!!


@SPurp13‌ I'm sorry you're having a hard time I wish I could say something to make you feel better. Once she gets here you'll realize how she's more worth all of this than you can even imagine right now.

@windwithfingers‌ I truly cannot even fathom what you go through and how much of a roller coaster it must be (I have tried and it breaks my heart). Don't feel bad for sad days, you are beyond an amazing mother and have your husband with y'all every step of the way watching over.

TheOtherJacobsons

@windwithfingers‌ bitch away my dear. You have a lot to get off your chest. I think about you often and have also tried to understand your struggle. I cried when I read your story to my husband. It's one of my worst fears and I am so sorry that it happened to you. You are an amazing strong woman and I know you will do an exceptional job teaching your kid about his father.

SarahJ517

My husband always says that as soon as that baby falls out of you, grandma's brains fall out of her ears. My favorite is when they shriek "my baaaaaaaby! My baby!" Wait, he's YOUR baby? Glad we cleared that up.