Abby8279

Into+the+Kitty · October 2014

How have things been?

abby8279 · October 2014

With our grieving? Or my surgery? I am guessing you mean with our grieving. Just making sure.

Into+the+Kitty · October 2014

Just life in general, I guess. Things really seemed to all pile on at once, I just wanted to check in on how you've been.

TJ1979 · October 2014

You had wrist surgery right? I think w need updates to everything.

abby8279 · October 2014

I was scheduled for surgery last Monday. I was supposed to have a hernia repair. I got an umbilical hernia while pregnant w/ DD#2. Which just got worse w/ DD#3. It still hurts me a lot. Esp. when I am lugging around babies who are getting bigger everyday. DH cleared it with his boss to be completely off for 1 week then work from home 1 week since I won't be able to lift DD#2 at all. At the last minute (Sat. before) his boss called him and gave him a bunch of deadlines for Mon. Tue. and Wed. and told him he had to come in for part of the day Wed. The week of my surg.! I didn't have any time to set up other help. My family all live out of town. And DH couldn't even say he would use vacation because he burned it all up for the funerals and when we had DD#3. So we cancelled the surgery. Sucks b/c it was perfect timing before the holidays, our deductible is met, and DD#3 (who I BF) is just below the weight lifting restriction. Pisses me off b/c I am always the one who has to take on everything when he travels for work. Now I needed the help.

I will fill you guys in on the tougher part...our grieving process in a little bit. I need a glass of wine for that.

Into+the+Kitty · October 2014

Hugs, Abby. I can't believe his boss did that, that's really effed up.

TJ1979 · October 2014

Oops, wrist must have been someone else. That really sucks. I can't believe his boss did that to you. Will you be able to get it in before the end of the year while your deductible is met?

abby8279 · October 2014

It surprises me everyday how raw the emotions still are on losing my cousins. Thinking of them can happen at any place at anytime and will bring me to tears. One tidbit I don't think I shared was that my husband and I shared them as cousins. His aunt (dad's sister) is married to my uncle (mom's brother). So our aunt & uncle's kids are both our cousins. Therefore DH and I and both our families are grieving them. The biggest thing the family is tackling right now is getting one of my cousin's 2 kids settled with other family members. And my other cousin's 4 kids settled. Seeing those 6 kids crying in the front row of a double funeral for their moms will forever be seared into my memory. My cousin's husband is being charged for 2 counts for 1st degree intentional homicide. His next court date in Nov. I have no idea why he pled not guilty and is taking this to trial. Based on what we already know there is no chance he didn't do it. It is going to be especially hard because I am sure we will hear all he gory details (I have heard enough already!). My biggest fear is the releasing of the 911 call.

TJ1979 · October 2014

Oh my. I don't even know what to say. Just lots of hugs and T&P for peace.

CLLDLL · October 2014

Oh, this makes me so sad to hear. You and your family will continue to be in my T&Ps.

Into+the+Kitty · October 2014

Gosh, abby (funny little aside, autocorrect wants me to call you baby), nothing but hugs. You and your family are regularly in my thoughts and I really just try to send out love, comfort, and peace every time.

Have you guys considered joining a support group for victims of violent crimes? It may help to hear from people who've been through everything you're going through, and I'd bet they would be able to help prepare for the stress of a trial, too. I'd bet the DA could point you in the right direction, and if there's nothing local you can always try searching online.

I'll continue sending out all the positivity I can.

TJ1979 · October 2014

YGPM.

bumpuser9353653 · October 2014

I can't even imagine the grief your family is going through right now. So many thoughts and prayers for strength and healing, especially for their children.

And what a d!ck move from your husband's boss.

abby8279 · October 2014

Thanks for all the support. I have been kind of vague in my previous threads. I hope I am not giving TMI but it feels good to share. Making sense of this situation is impossible. My cousin and husband had a very loving marriage with no violence. He was diagnosed w/ ALS this past summer. Which forced him to retire as a deputy with the sheriffs office (she was a Christian preschool teacher). They were working together to raise money for ALS awareness (especially w/ the ice bucket challenge). We were all preparing ourselves for his inevitable passing. Then for unknown reasons he took my cousin's life, her sister (my other cousin), and failed a suicide attempt. He has not given any reason as to why he did it. But evidence has come forward in his bail hearing that he had planned it. I don't know if we will ever know why he did it. My cousins were 39 and 38 yrs old. Cue tears.

TJ1979 · October 2014

ElleBeeDub · October 2014

I'm so sorry Abby.

Into+the+Kitty · October 2014

I really wish I could just give you an IRL hug right now.

I may just be an imaginary person on a cloth diaper board, but please know that if you need to just vent or cry to someone or anything, I'm just a PM away.