Step parent issues

andrea0418

I know not many of you are in my situation with step children but I'm still going to ask your opinion.

DHs ex told him about a month ago that since the kids don't have school today or Monday that she was taking them to New York to visit her sister. DH said that was fine since it is her weekend anyway.

(They never went to court for custody. The arrangement they agreed on is every other weekend and they sleep at their moms house on week nights to ride the bus near her house. They ride a different bus in the afternoon. I get them off the bus and they spend the evenings here till their mom gets off work around 8.)

We assume she is taking them thurs after school till Monday sometime. Great, long weekend! No, she finally told us that she wasn't bringing them back till next weekend. DH said no they don't need to miss school. They discussed it, argued and then she took them anyway.

I know since there is no court custody order that there's nothing we can do, right?

Do you think that's shitty of her or am I just overreacting because I hate her?

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KMRR86

We also have no court order, so I understand where you're coming from. No, there is nothing you can do. I do think it's shitty when parents don't agree and instead of compromising one parent just goes ahead and does whatever. I have been there. It sucks. >:D<

cuterusaurus

I would be upset about the lack of communication about this week. But in the grand scheme, missing a week in mid October isn't going to affect their education negatively. >:D<

I do think that if it can be done amicably, maybe the agreement needs to be formalized just to aid in both parents being respectful of each other.

In the meantime, enjoy this one on one time with Ty >:D<

Also, I thought you should know my phone auto corrected formalized to fireballs. Wtheck? Lol!

[Deleted User]

No idea about the custody etc., sorry but I would be very upset if I were your H. 

I disagree that missing a week of school for a holiday is NBD. It's different for sick or bereaved children, if course, but healthy children should be in school. It's unfair to the teachers - and other students when their classmates hold them back because they've missed material. I also think it sends the wrong message. School is a child's job - parents should instil good work ethic in children from an early age. They have all those weeks off in the summer! 

andrea0418

Thanks ladies. The girls went to New York for 2 seperate weeks over the summer too which took away from our time. She does things like this often. But when we are later than she wants us to be dropping the girls off she threatens to call the cops. I just bite my tongue. She's gonna be in my life forever....

andrea0418

Oh and the missing school thing:
Their mom lets them miss the entire day of school when they have any appt. dentist, eye dr, so they miss a lot of school. Also, Olivia isn't doing very well in school right now. She's having trouble with math and spelling. I just don't think she needs to miss 4 days of school. I can see if a vacation was planned and a hotel paid for but they are just going to their aunts house. The trip could be shortened.

andrea0418

Not to mention Ty freaking loves his sisters and is gonna miss them!

martyn17

I would be totally annoyed. My mom is a teacher and would =D> @picklex. I tend to agree as well

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miss2697

My school (title 1) has a very strict attendance policy. Vacations are not excused absences. You can get prosecuted for letting your child miss too many days. And yes, it is annoying. I currently have one student on a week vacation and I have to wait to turn in my county assessments until he comes back and re-takes it.

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PrimRoseMama

PickleX said:

No idea about the custody etc., sorry but I would be very upset if I were your H. 

I disagree that missing a week of school for a holiday is NBD. It's different for sick or bereaved children, if course, but healthy children should be in school. It's unfair to the teachers - and other students when their classmates hold them back because they've missed material. I also think it sends the wrong message. School is a child's job - parents should instil good work ethic in children from an early age. They have all those weeks off in the summer! 

I agree with this. ^^^

[Deleted User]

I'm with @PickleX‌ and @maryanneapier! I can't even imagine missing school for a vacation being the least bit ok in our household.

andrea0418

mystererae said:

andrea0418 said:

Oh and the missing school thing:
Their mom lets them miss the entire day of school when they have any appt. dentist, eye dr, so they miss a lot of school. Also, Olivia isn't doing very well in school right now. She's having trouble with math and spelling. I just don't think she needs to miss 4 days of school. I can see if a vacation was planned and a hotel paid for but they are just going to their aunts house. The trip could be shortened.

Red alert! Get a formal order. Was their mom any good at school herself?

No she sucked in school DH says. He had to tutor her in math.

andrea0418

Thanks for rationalizing my frustrations everyone! I agree that something formal from court needs to be in place to prevent this from happening over and over!