Am I overreacting?

mrr5058

So I picked DD up from daycare around 10 am. She had only been there for 4 hours. She goes to a licensed in home daycare. She has been there for 3 months and we have never had an issue before. When I picked her up today I noticed blood on her lip so I looked more closely and noticed that she had a cut to her lower lip and a scrape on her chin. I asked her daycare provider and she said she hadn't noticed it so it must have just happened when she was in the next room putting the baby down for a nap. She then said she didn't hear her crying or anything. I shrugged it off initially because I know that accidents can happen and she can't have her eyes on her every minute she is there. I picked her up and we left. On the way to the car I also noticed that she smelled like poop so when we got to the car I checked her diaper and it was clean so I took it off and required her to make sure she was adequately clean, which she was. When I went to pull her pants back up I noticed that she had dried poop all over the inside of her pants. I was immediately pissed then. Like I said I realize that accidents happen but two things in 4 hours was a little too much for me to handle rationally this am. Would you say something or just wait it out since nothing like this has happened before? If so how would you approach the situation? I am very nonconfrontational.

Puck1182

Oddly enough I'm the opposite of @lrtrauth‌ on this. A little scrape? Meh. My kid takes after me in the clumsiness department. She aaaalways has a collection of cuts, scrapes, bruises, and/or goose eggs. It's basically impossible to know where they all come from, so as long as it's just a minor cut/scrape, I wouldn't be inclined to get worked up. The dried poop inside the pants though? Eww. :-(

jbatch

I think bumps and bruises happen so it is very possible the DCP just didn't see that something had happened(possibly something happened and your child didn't cry).

 I would personally be more upset about the poop. How do you change a diaper and not see the crusty poop in the pants? I don't think it is pulling from daycare worthy but I do think it is worth bringing up and asking that she check her more closely when she changes her in the future.

Rynleigh

What bothers me is the lack of attention. Yes, kids get bumps and scrapes. Yes, sometimes a diaper leaks. What SHOULD NOT be happening is the provider being oblivious about both conditions. The provider should have been able to say, "I am so sorry, we've had a little chaos here this morning - she bumped her chin a little bit ago, and we had a diaper leak - I was getting her cleaned up, but I didn't find clean pants before you got here - if you would like to wait just a moment, I will find a pair we can put her in until you get home!" 

The failure to notice the scrape or the soiled pants is what would frustrate me. I would bring in a spare pair of pants when you go back (even if you have a pair in her bag or cubby already), and tell her you want to be sure she's got an extra set because she had leakage in her pants when you picked her up the week before. If you don't already have a habit of it, always be sure to communicate any bruise or scratch she might already have when you drop her off, to demonstrate how important it is to you that everyone knows when and how an injury happened, and set the standard so that she sees that the expectation to be told when and how an injury might have happened in her care, as well, is established. 

tamarar5

100% agree with @Rynleigh‌ on this one. A scrape I wouldn't be upset about. Kids are kids. A leaky diaper I wouldn't be upset about. But both together and not one mention of either? Something happened. Maybe or was just a random crazy day, but you are paying her top notice these things. I'd probably mention it to get, but from the stance of, "hey, this happened, is everything okay? Is there anything I can do?"

singingsea

For me it depends on the severity of the injury. Maybe I'm super relaxed but Kieran gets hurt aaaaaall the time. He's got my clumsiness.

I'm weird but the poop thing bothers me more.

Rosebean

The scrape wouldn't bother me... Although my DCP tells me about the smallest marks I would never notice. The poop... It happens. However, with all that said, my last DCP I thought was really wonderful. But towards the end, she really started to check out. He was getting pushed around by another little boy, I was getting reports about him picking on another little girl and pulling hair... We were constantly battling a diaper rash. Now I understand it was all signs of her checking out. She had plans to move and didn't let us know she was closing down until 3 weeks before hand. Since he has come out of her place, he hasn't had one diaper rash... He goes to a new day care with the same LB who used to bully him and I have heard of fewer instances between them. So, as much as I liked her at the time, looking back now I realize that he wasn't being watched the way he should have been. She wasn't keeping enough of an eye on him to keep him from being pushed and shoved and she wasn't watching him enough to keep him from hair pulling. And she wasn't changing him enough. That all irks me now when I think back on it.

SummerLove21

I think it's never a rude thing just to mention, hey, I noticed this last week, just so you know. No big deal, but just so we're all on the same page, can you let me know if I need to bring a change of clothes for pickup?

She admitted to not knowing how the injury got there; is it possible you just beat her to the punch of letting you know? My DS always has some scrape or so from falling while walking, but it would be nice to know if they cleaned it or what they did when they did notice it. So maybe you can ask what protocol is for minor injuries?

mrr5058

Thanks everyone for your input. I called her yesterday and we discussed the situation. She was very apologetic and said that she obviously didn't notice the poop but Emmalyn was fighting her diaper change so she was trying to hurry and must've missed it. She said that she would be more careful in the future. She also felt very bad about her lip and said she had been worrying about it since we left. She was able to get one of the older children to tell her that they were running and bumped heads. The little boy didn't want to get a warning for running so he was scared to tell her. I feel much better after discussing it with her.