IFSP meeting tomorrow. updated

PipSqueak0313

So to keep the meeting from becoming adversarial while I "attack" them for trying to update portions of the IFSP during home visits when dh was not present (something he has previously objected to last year) and to bring up our feelings that they are treating ds as if he's not worth their efforts......I need to make sure to use "I feel like....." and "the message I'm receiving is........" type of statements. Anything else? Also, how do you bring up a text received 3 days before the IFSP meeting that asks what grasp ds is using to self feed and if he's holding his cup yet given that all of those are related to a goal that they never worked on with him. My issues with the text are 1) if they had worked with him on it they would already know the answers, 2) why are they asking prior to the IFSP meeting, 3) I question the professionalism of asking something like that by text. FWIW, I have not responded to the text. Any other tips/suggestions to keep in mind as we go in? One last thing: am I wrong in thinking that it's inappropriate to update family concerns, strengths, and similar sections during home visits?

hopecounts

Good Luck!

Yes keep emotion out of this as much as you possibly can.

I would simply bring up the text in a play dumb way 

"i received this text (describe/read it) and I don't understand it as these were goals that were not given attention this year despite being in the IFSP"

I don't know about the idealness but I don't necessarily think discussing Family Concerns prior to the meeting is a big deal, that might be to better prep the team on what goals you are concerned with so they can have an idea of what you will be looking for. 

Were they formally updating or just discussing?

PipSqueak0313

hopecounts said:

Good Luck!

Yes keep emotion out of this as much as you possibly can.

I would simply bring up the text in a play dumb way 

"i received this text (describe/read it) and I don't understand it as these were goals that were not given attention this year despite being in the IFSP"

I don't know about the idealness but I don't necessarily think discussing Family Concerns prior to the meeting is a big deal, that might be to better prep the team on what goals you are concerned with so they can have an idea of what you will be looking for. 

Were they formally updating or just discussing?

It was pulling the current IFSP out and trying to go over it section by section, even after I had said multiple times that dh and I had not discussed it yet a little over a month prior to the meeting (the OT had to step in and say stop to get the person to stop trying to update the IFSP at the home visit and the visit record was written up with "Update IFSP" written in as part of the purpose of the home visit).....and based on previous experience, when I did go over it with them, the input I provided was then typed up and entered onto the draft copy of the IFSP that we were handed at the IFSP. Which was then just read through and not discussed which effectively removed dh as an equal team member with equal input.

hopecounts

yes that's a problem then. Sorry they are giving you wuch a hard time.

PipSqueak0313

Update: They did concede that it would be correct to give advance notice when they would like to have a team meeting during a home visit. The PT acknowledged that she also was sensing issues during the home visits related to us being on different pages. So the discussion regarding getting them and us back on the same page regarding our expectations for ds was productive. They also acknowledged that they were failing to communicate clearly what they were working on, skill wise, and said they would try to explain things better rather than take for granted that we knew their thoughts or how the skill fits in with other skills. I also asked if we could set the visit schedule to be the same day and time every week so that it was part of our weekly routine rather than setting the next on during the current visit and we were able to get that. So all in all, the meeting went much better once we got the air cleared than I was used to. Even the clearing of the air was more cooperative than confrontational.