How to make older brother understand

mamayo26

Hi All,

It's been a long time since I've been active on the boards, but I was hoping those who are moms of 2+ or are pregant with their second could help me find a way to try and help DS who is just over 2 understand or at least recognize that there will be a new member joining the family...are there any books or movies/shows that you found helpful. I know he is young, but he understands babies and his younger cousins and things, I jsut don't know how to help him grasp that this baby will be around forever...

TIA.

ashiscute

Daisy covered it for you.  

My DD was only 19.5 mos when DS came but we didn't do much to prepare her because honestly there is no way to.  I did buy the book "I'm A Big Sister" by Joanna Cole (they do have a brother version) and we read that.  She already had a bitty baby so we bought her some of the the accessories (pac n play, pumpkin seat) that we could play together. 

I think the best thing you can do is just talk about babies and answer any questions he has.  Once the baby is here keep to his schedule as much as possible.  It will be a rude awakening for sure but my DD adjusted to the new baby pretty easily.  After the first day or so when she realized the crying was pretty normal she didn't pay him much attention.  

mamayo26

Thanks Ladies! DS just didn't do really well when a new baby joined the sitter last year and a new one is about to join again, so I guess we'll see how he does with that...he loves his new baby cousin, so hoping for the best. You both had some nice insights...thanks for not being snarky or shooting down my insecurities either (it is refreshing).

ashiscute

theresat858 said:

We started reading these books a few months before DD2 was born:
https://www.amazon.com/Waiting-Baby-My-New/dp/1846432758/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1412963588&sr=8-3&keywords=baby+sibling+book
https://www.amazon.com/My-New-Baby-Rachel-Fuller/dp/1846432766/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1412963588&sr=8-1&keywords=baby+sibling+book

DD1 knew that there was a baby in mommy's tummy (I tried for a while to correct her to the correct term "uterus", but it didn't stick), and knew the baby would be coming home soon.  She started asking to hold the baby about a week before baby arrived, and I told her the baby wasn't out yet, but would be soon. 

I don't think she knows the baby is permanent yet, but so far she has done decently with the transition to being a big sister.

Congrats on the baby!!!!

Hijack over

emberlee3

Ditto PPs.  DS was almost 3 years old when DD was born.  He didn't even seem to notice my belly until 3rd tri.  I told him there was a baby in my tummy, and she would be his sister.  I answered any questions he had.  We didn't talk about it a lot.  He didn't really get it until DD came home with us.  I don't think there's a lot you can do to prepare them.  They just have no concept of why another person would join their family until it actually happens.

MommyAtty

I have a DD and added a DS when she was 21 mos old. We got her a baby doll and, at our pediatrician's suggestion, spent a lot of time on the concepts of "soft" and "gentle" touches. We also practiced not poking eyes or putting things in ears/mouths. She's done great. I agree she didn't totally understand that we were keeping the baby, but she's adjusted well and they love each other to pieces. (At 5 mos, he already idolizes her... Who knew it happened so early???)