so, as a recap, we were selected by a sweet EM that lives about 5 hours from us. we have traveled to see her several times, and all visits have been great. she is due in january, which makes her just over 26 weeks pregnant.
here's where things get rocky... she has yet to go to a doctor. when she came to our adoption facliltator, she was taken to a free pregnancy testing clinic where the pregnancy was confirmed and an ultrasound was performed. we were told that because of her not having insurance, she would go to the doctor when her medicaid was finalized- sounded good to us. well, she had an appt last thursday with her OBGYN (our facilitator accompanied her since we were not able to make the trip) and she walked out of the appointment, reportedly furious with the wait time and rescheduled for this past Monday. now, we are completely unable to reach her, and have no idea if she made the appointment or not. she isn't at her mom's house, where she is supposedly staying, and they aren't returning messages. our lawyer/facilitator has tried on several attempts to reach her on her cell phone (which we provided for her- it's just a monthly pay as you go phone from walmart) and nothing. we have called and texted her and have gotten nothing. we haven't spoken to her since last friday, and we are getting a little freaked out!
so... i guess my question is this. what can we do? anyone have any similar experience and advice? i feel like we have a right to know if the baby is safe and healthy, but do we? this has all happened in the past week and a half or so, so we haven't really gotten down to brass tacks with paperwork (which is extra challenging since we live so far away). so there isn't really anything other than a verbal commitment between us and her. there isn't really anything legal for us or her to "back out" of, you know? we also have reason to believe that the she is involved with drugs, which while not at all ideal, we have expressed that we are willing to work with. we think that may be why she is distancing herself from us. i dont know, of course i fear the worst here, and i just don't know where to turn. i know we are driving our lawyer crazy, but she isn't able to contact her either, so we are all kind of stuck. what would you do? would you cut your losses and move on? or try like hell to work this out? needless to say, this has all happened so fast and i have never felt this range of emotions so quickly- from extreme jubilation to fearful panic all in a week's time. trying to remain positive and hopeful, but things are kind of crazy... we don't even know if baby boy is healthy, and i feel like that's a huge piece of the puzzle. any advice?
trying for #1 since May 2012... we're adopting! bringing home baby boy in january 2015!