Doctor's appointments (for me) and parenting related guilt

RondackHiker

How do you guys deal with frequent doctor's appointments and guilt about dragging your kids along.

Ds is super busy and active. He can hike three miles, spend hours at a playground, and still be bouncing off the walls. And lately I've been dragging the poor kid to appointment after appointment due to my PPD/PPA issues and now my thyroid issues.

Right now I have weekly support group meetings and will have therapy every other week. I managed to snag an appointment for my thyroid this morning, and will have a bunch of follow ups for a while. I've had some OB appointments thanks to the PPD, and am supposed to have another.

DS is struggling with them. Waiting in the waiting room, waiting in the exam room, and then being quiet and patient during the exam and any blood work and follow up is hard for him. He's squirmy and interrupts and is impatient. I can't blame him. I felt like he was disruptive in support group yesterday, but DH doesn't want me to stop going.

I need advice about how to entertain him (electronics aren't working well right now) and how to deal with guilty feelings about how often he has to be patient right now. These things are becoming a major time suck for us. I feel so bad because I know that him being quiet and still this often and for that long is unreasonable.

He tries so hard and is so good. He was in tears at my last OB appointment. They had a toy there, one of those spinning seats. He was just using it correctly and not yelling or laughing and some bitch made a snarky comment about loud kids and hurt his feelings. It's a loudish toy but that's what the office had. He wasn't being loud on purpose.

I'm at a loss about how to help him stay quiet so he doesn't disturb others, while being fair to him.

RondackHiker

This is going to be a post and run, due to the last minute appointment. I'll be back later.

Have a sitter regularly isn't an option. He will be with a friend this afternoon because we'll be discussing my rape in therapy and I don't want him there.

MrsT0514

Im sorry, Rondack. I dont have any useful advice for you, just commisseration. I feel your pain with having to drag your kid along to personal appts, bc I have to do the same with my 21mo. Ive been dragging him to OB appts with me as well as any other personal appts that may come up, since i SAH with him during the day and we have no sitter or local family around. Its tough.

He's big enough that he doesn't usually want to sit still in the stroller, but too young still to follow my direction and not run all over the place/touch everything in the dr office...so usually I have to stick him in the stroller with a snack and a book and hope for the best.

But most of all, I agree with what others have said here. I doubt your DS will remember sitting thru all of your appts in the future, and havi ng a healthy mom is the most important thing. Try not to let the guilt creep in..you're doing what you have to do to be your best self. And no one can fault you for that!!

littlemermaid

I know you said electronics aren't working but instead of games have you tried having him watch a movie on an Ipad?  Or bring a bunch of books for him to look through, coloring books and crayons.  A white board with markers to draw pictures on.

I know he's young but kids do have to learn that the world doesn't revolve around them and this is a good teaching moment that sometimes they need to learn to just sit and be quiet while mommy gets through her appointment.  Even have his dad talk to him about being good during your appointments.  Sometimes boys listen better when the message is coming from an adult male figure.

RondackHiker

Thanks all.

I'm reading these and will respond more later, but I've got to run to the second appointment of the day.

Ds did okay this morning. It ended up being an hour plus of sitting, between waiting and tests and talking to the doctor and waiting to schedule follow ups and do paperwork and all that. Poor kiddo did his best!

wino2006

I use multiple things. I store crayons and cars that propel when you wheel them backwards in my purse. The kids only see these things at places like MD appts etc. So they ask for them and get excited. It's usually a combination of the cars, crayons and games on my iPod touch that seem to work.