I'm not sure if i'm just overeacting here, but this has confused me and now i'm not sure what to do. Note this is still a while away!
So my best friend is planning my shower, she wants to plan it by herself and i was fine with no co host as long as she was, my SIL did SEEM to want to be involved but never actually talked to my best friend or myself about it so i figured that she will let us know if she does.
Today my partner says 'If your best friend and her mother are coming to the shower then my family wont, they will throw you a second shower.' I was totally shocked! His family, bar my SIL, has never had anything to do with my best friend and especially not her mother but suddenly they 'hate' them enough to not go to a shower with them? I don't actually have enough guests (Was going to be 12-13 all up) to merit seperating the showers and to be honest i don't want to have two, especially with so little justification as to why the sudden change of mind. I also feel it's a little rude on his familys part to suddenly say that they wont attend if my BF does.... It's only a few hours!
Has anyone else had anything similar happen? What did you do?
Re: confusion and arguments over shower!
If it was going as planned i wouldnt even have to worry about it at all.
Your SOs family seems really immature and your SO could have explained that to them rather then dumping it on you.
If it were me I wouldn't give a shit if they didn't come if that's the type of attitudes they are having.
I assume he told me so as not to upset the host to be honest, but telling me has only made me worry. I find their reasoning a little rude too, especially being that they barely know her.
I told him how i feel on the matter and hopefully he talks to them or they get over whatever it is that is making them act like this and i can just go to the shower in a few months blissfully ignorant.
BUT it is up to you if you want to accept a 2nd shower, though. If they offer, you can decline. This is up to you.
And w/o his family, how many people will the shower be? Honestly- there i snothing wrong w/ a small shower. I like smaller events - it's more personal and I'm able to talk to more people.
Traditionally, you needn't be involved in the details of your shower. And I can understand if you SO wanted to give you a heads up about this happening....but it may have been better for him to tell you closer to the day so you don't stress over it.
I agree with PP's. Life is too short to worry about these things. In the end, your SO's family that chooses not to come will regret it later on. But its certainly not something that you need to worry about.
Now, this is just me, and it also depends on the relationship you have with his family, but I do understand the want to know why his family feel so strongly against your friend they barely know. If you really wanted to know, you could ask, or you could have your SO ask. Whatever the answer may be, don't let it bother you and just respectfully awknowledge their opinion. That's just what I would do. It probably better if you don't say anything though. Their loss....