co-hosting headache

NTBx4

co-hosting DDIL's shower w/her mom and my son's stepmom; one is cheap and the other's taste is, shall we say, questionable...I was just trying to be nice and now in a slight mess...trying to have a classy cohesive theme, but working...any suggestions how to get it together?

jennypolkadots

Are you planning to split the costs 3 ways? If so, try not to think of one person as cheap, they may really want to help but not be in a position to afford much of anything. Even if they seem otherwise, sometimes you just never know. Offer to pay more for the things that are important to you.

As with the bad taste - Make a pinterest board and then have that person pick their favorite from it. Is the taste just tacky to you or do you know for sure your DIL would also hate it? It's hard to say because her mom and sister probably know her pretty well. 

Disneygeek77

Maybe split up the duties ?  One person in charge of games and prizes, one person in charge of decorations, one person in charge of food and etc. ?

neverblushed

Agree with pp.  Theme is not that important, so don't get too wound up over it.  You can even pick a color and just coordinate around that.

If you're splitting the costs evenly, you have to go with a limit that everyone can afford and just be economical.  You can throw a classy, tasteful, shower without spending a ton.

The other alternative is to divide the responsibilities and let each hostess spend what she wants. If you have a bigger budget, take the big-ticket item: food/decorations.  Suggest that the hostess who is most likely to be "klassy" handle the invitations and RSVPs, which involves more time than judgement.  You can even offer to buy the invitations and give them to her to send out if you think she'll pick something atrocious.

Perhaps the person who has a low budget could handle games and favors, if you have games.  Alternatively, she could do the cake, the beverages, or the plates and napkins.

Remind the other women that the most important jobs: meeting and greeting guests, making sure the party runs smoothly on the day of, and helping the MTB enjoy her day will be shared by all.

SingleMom31

neverblushed said:

Agree with pp.  Theme is not that important, so don't get too wound up over it.  You can even pick a color and just coordinate around that.

If you're splitting the costs evenly, you have to go with a limit that everyone can afford and just be economical.  You can throw a classy, tasteful, shower without spending a ton.

The other alternative is to divide the responsibilities and let each hostess spend what she wants. If you have a bigger budget, take the big-ticket item: food/decorations.  Suggest that the hostess who is most likely to be "klassy" handle the invitations and RSVPs, which involves more time than judgement.  You can even offer to buy the invitations and give them to her to send out if you think she'll pick something atrocious.

Perhaps the person who has a low budget could handle games and favors, if you have games.  Alternatively, she could do the cake, the beverages, or the plates and napkins.

Remind the other women that the most important jobs: meeting and greeting guests, making sure the party runs smoothly on the day of, and helping the MTB enjoy her day will be shared by all.

I'm not sure I'd trust the "klassy" one with invites - you're liable to end up with a diaper raffle on them that way.

dufferoo

Unfortunately, when you're co-hosting, you can't have stuff exactly how you want it. Like you, when I host a party, I like to have things just right, and don't mind going over-budget in the process... Which is why I would never volunteer to co-host with two women I knew I wouldn't see eye to eye with! But you already did volunteer, so at this point I would just do my best to compromise, and probably defer to the mother of the mtb when necessary, because it is, after all, her daughter you are trying to honor. Also, let her name be listed on the invite first, so people will know she's to blame for the hodgepodge theme and crappy paper plates.

NTBx4

Hello Ladies- Thank you all for the support...we are splitting the costs three ways, we are all "assigned" different tasks, and we are all getting along just fine, I am just way to picky I guess...Darn Pinterest....Makes me think everything has to be perfect! lol....Thanks So Much...You all made me feel better and less control freaky!

NTBx4

oops  "too picky"

neverblushed

SingleMom31 said:

Agree with pp.  Theme is not that important, so don't get too wound up over it.  You can even pick a color and just coordinate around that.

If you're splitting the costs evenly, you have to go with a limit that everyone can afford and just be economical.  You can throw a classy, tasteful, shower without spending a ton.

The other alternative is to divide the responsibilities and let each hostess spend what she wants. If you have a bigger budget, take the big-ticket item: food/decorations.  Suggest that the hostess who is most likely to be "klassy" handle the invitations and RSVPs, which involves more time than judgement.  You can even offer to buy the invitations and give them to her to send out if you think she'll pick something atrocious.

Perhaps the person who has a low budget could handle games and favors, if you have games.  Alternatively, she could do the cake, the beverages, or the plates and napkins.

Remind the other women that the most important jobs: meeting and greeting guests, making sure the party runs smoothly on the day of, and helping the MTB enjoy her day will be shared by all.

I'm not sure I'd trust the "klassy" one with invites - you're liable to end up with a diaper raffle on them that way.

Hmm.. that's true.  I was just thinking that it was a pretty straightforward clerical role, but it does open the door to throwing stuff like a diaper raffle on there!  They'd have to agree on the wording beforehand, maybe?