Hitting when frustrated

lulamagoo

So I know I am not the only one dealing with this.

DS is hitting me when he is frustrated, generally when I don't let him do what he wants.  It is not when he is hungry or tired.  I tell him no in a stern voice and he laughs.  I have tried showing him how to stomp his feet and say mad in a loud voice as way to give him an alternative way to express himself.  I think he is still too young for time out, but I really want him to understand that this is not acceptable behavior. (I do know that developmentally, this is normal)

Have you all tried anything that has seen positive results?

OhBaby+2013

I'm right there with you. Most of the time I tell him no hitting and that it hurts and ensure I stick to my guns on whatever it is that has him mad (I.e no more food or not going outside). Sometimes I will hold him in my lap for a few minutes and explain why he can't hit or can't do something. Sort of an intro to time outs. I feel a lot of time outs in my future!

Mom2anAngel2

DS does the exact same thing! He is slow in the talking department and I think he just gets frustrated when he can't express himself. Usually I say no hitting in a stern voice and then say that he gave me a booboo. He understands that and knows he gets kisses when he gets booboisie, so he will come over and give me a kiss. I have really left it at that for now, but I see many time-outs in his future as well.

bennikki

We do a very short time out.  Like you, he's doing this out of frustration, so I feel like he needs a break.  Often times, I'll even sit with him on my lap during his time out/break.  If he seems really out of control, then I do sit him down by himself for about 30 seconds.  When the time out/break is over, I pick him up or turn him so he's looking me in the eye and say, "I know you're frustrated, but we don't hit.  We never hit because it's not nice.  Can you say you're sorry?"  With the exception of one time (which was an epic battle of wills between DS and I), he says sorry.  Then I give him a hug and tell him I love him.

In our parent discussion group during DS's early childhood classes, we were discussing this very issue.  The instructor brought up also saying something like, "how do you think that makes me/them feel when you hit me/them?"  Yes, they don't totally grasp the concept now, and you're probably going to have to answer for them by saying something like, "it probably hurts them and makes them feel sad," but it's opening the door to handling similar situations in the future when our kids will understand that question.

lulamagoo

Thank you ladies

kepper6000

I second Hands are not for Hitting.  Reading it really seemed to help DD.  If she hits we say hands are not for hitting and have her wave or hug or some other suggestion from the book.