PPD check in - 5 October

yepyepsms

How are you? Vents? Positives? Questions?

yepyepsms

I hate weekends because they always prove to be I'm not better. I feel great during the week but I think it's because I am not with my kids all day (I work full time). That sounds horrible but I know it's true. I don't want it to be that way. My anxiety is sky high all weekend and I am so irritable and just feel like I could flip out at any moment:( and don't enjoy most of the day. It's just a feeling of dread all day.

I have two questions for everyone?

1. Does anyone have a physical manifestation of the ppd going on? My body aches and my joints are so stiff. I also have tons of tension in my neck and shoulders. I got a chair massage at work the other day and the therapist said it was the worst she'd ever seen (maybe they say that to everyone). I have no other reason for my body to feel like this. I am active with my kids, walk avg 5 miles per day, eat healthy and drink water so just wondering if it's the PPD.

2. Who is in therapy? Like counseling? Has it helped? I am thinking about it.

deanna1313

I am doing okay. I feel like I really fluctuate. I stopped breastfeeding for two weeks and I have my period. Not sure if the combination is bad or if I'm doing a little worse.
I stopped seeing the psychologist because she said ob really didn't need to come anymore. That's great, but I'm not 100%.
I am still feeling upset, down, regret, missing my old life and etc. I take good care of the baby, don't have the crazy anxiety I was having before. My depression isn't that bad, but I am still getting depressed, but not as bad. I wonder how long this will last since I'm not medicated. The psychologist said that I'm recuperating quickly. My LO was 4 mths on the 30th.

I have the worst back problems I have ever had! People with anxiety and depression are known to have aches and pains, but I really feel like that stupid car seat is my problem!!!

I really enjoyed my time with the psychologist. She is understanding and helps me to process/understand things in a way I would never thought of.

lrmrtn

I definitely have physical side effects. I basically go to bed around 7pm once LO is settled. I've also pretty much had a headache for the past month due to the stress. DH is doing better with the paranoia but our marriage is really suffering. I'm pretty much angry at him all the time no matter what he does. He also can't find a job which is taking an emotional toll on both of us, not to mention our finances.

yepyepsms

Thanks for sharing @Lissiehoya‌. Sounds like it's going really well. Good luck. I also "suffer" from trying to be a perfectionist plus had/have a shitty mom so I am sure there is some feelings deep down about motherhood? Well, guess I am starting my counseling right here:)

yepyepsms

@Lissiehoya‌ - I love lists. I get a lot of satisfaction from them. Interesting idea I might have to try. Good luck, I am sure it's really hard.

jenb_99

I thought I was getting better, but last week was awful. I've been feeling a lot of anger, and at times I hate DH. I'm also still having a lot of anxiety.

My counselor thinks I need a stronger dose of Wellbutrin, but I haven't asked my OB about it. I don't want to take more while I'm breastfeeding, so I just keep waiting it out. I might need to find another solution if the rage doesn't let up soon. Le sigh.

@MK1013 I, too, experience shortness of breath during periods of high anxiety. I yawn a lot and feel like I can't take a complete breath. It's really bad right now. I've never met anyone else with the same symptom! I hate that you have to deal with it too, but it's comforting to know I'm not alone. Even doctors think I'm nuts when I describe the problem.

deanna1313

@Lissiehoya‌ my psychologist always did the same thing. She said "what would you like to talk about today?" I really wanted her to talk about things and ask questions that she thought were important or would be helpful. I always felt like I didn't know what to say.
Maybe this us why she told me I don't need her anymore.

lrmrtn

This is exactly why I'm resisting seeing a therapist. It just feels like one more obligation that wouldn't be very helpful.

deanna1313

@lrmrtn‌ just my opinion, but I enjoyed my time with the psychologist and felt that she did help me. Just saying.... I know a lot of people feel differently.

lrmrtn

@deanna1313‌ a lot of people have recommended that I go see someone. Right now though I feel like it is one more thing to do. I'm not opposed to it, I just don't think I'm ready yet.

deanna1313

@lrmrtn‌ I understand. Yes, you have to be ready and open to it.

elizabe519

Hi ladies, I've been "gone" for awhile now, but still lurking. I was diagnosed with PPD in early July. I ended up, after a lot of recommendations, going into a special mother and baby ppd program at a psyciatric hospital. It helped greatly. I was put on Zoloft, Ativan, triazidone, and take sleeping pills. I hate taking all of these meds, but they do work. I had and still have physical manifestations of my ppd. I mostly deal with nausea, terrible terrible nausea. I have been seeing a therapist since early July and it is helpful. I was going once a week, but am now going once a month. Last night I had a meltdown and a panic attack, something I haven't had in awhile. It was terrifying to know that after so much forward progress I could still be pulled back to what felt like square one. I have a therapy session in a few days and will defiantly be reevaluating my plan for treatment. I think my zoloft needs to be upped for sure. Anyway, I just wanted to share my story and journey thus far.

deanna1313

@elizabe519‌ glad to hear that the hospital and psychiatrist have been helpful.
I'm kind of curious to what they did to help besides the medication. I'm not in anything and although I gradually getting better I still wish I could do more to help the process along.

Good for you for seeking help and for being brave enough to go into the hospital.