Before- Hopeful and about ten weeks pregnant. Our last family photo.
Now- Forever changed by the loss of Ben. The empty crib still waits in the room they were supposed to share. The quote was above the crib when dd used it too. It just seems more appropriate now then it ever did before.
Before - hopeful and excited to be new parents to our first child, our son. Washing his clothes, installing the car seat and getting everything ready for his arrival. Now - missing him always and carrying him in our hearts. Putting together a scrap book of all the pictures I have of him - knowing I will not get to take more pictures or make more scrap books for our son.
#captureyourgrief Day 3- Before: This is the very last "Before" picture I have. This is the last picture before our world came crashing down two days later...before our fairy tale ended. The simple, easy joy and expectation was overwhelming. We were so close to getting everything we had been wanting and then nothing. I miss the innocence of that time. That time when the constant fear of death and losing people I love was not overpowering me. Yes, everything wasn't always perfect then, but it was full of life, not death; hope, not fear; and a naïveté that allowed for simple, unwarranted bliss.
--LO Mentioned-- #captureyourgrief Day 4- Now: This is our family now. It is not at all what we had hoped for, dreamed of, or planned for but it is us now. We have a beautiful, perfect boy who I know misses his twin sister everyday. He points at her picture, waves and blows kisses to her. Instead of getting to watch them grow, learn and play together, we see him look off in the distance, randomly wave to nothing we can see and babble in the corner to himself. I know she is with him, holding him, protecting him, teasing him and loving him. The "Now" is a rewarding place but with a lot of holes the exact size and shape of Mary. Our "now" will never be whole, but we are all doing our best to always keep her part of our everyday.
#captureyourgrief #day3 #before Sometimes it can be difficult to remember what life was like before losing Izzie. I was a person who believed in living happily ever after. I believed in right and wrong, good and bad. I believed everything happened for a reason. Sometimes I catch a glimpse of the old me. But mostly I have a hard time recognizing her. She isn't bad or good. Just different.
#captureyourgrief #day4 #now Life now is very different. Not only for the life we lost, but for the new life we have. It can be strange to balance the love and joy I have for my son with the sorrow and grief I still carry for my daughter. Izzie's brief life taught me so much about love. I cherish every moment I have with those I love. I struggle not to let anxiety and fear ruin my ability to enjoy these moments. (Note - infectious disease outbreaks do NOT help said anxiety). I like to think that Izzie made me a better person. A better mom.
lexusolsen
member
Re: Capture your grief days 3&4
Now- Forever changed by the loss of Ben. The empty crib still waits in the room they were supposed to share. The quote was above the crib when dd used it too. It just seems more appropriate now then it ever did before.
Now - missing him always and carrying him in our hearts. Putting together a scrap book of all the pictures I have of him - knowing I will not get to take more pictures or make more scrap books for our son.
--LO Mentioned--
#captureyourgrief Day 4- Now: This is our family now. It is not at all what we had hoped for, dreamed of, or planned for but it is us now. We have a beautiful, perfect boy who I know misses his twin sister everyday. He points at her picture, waves and blows kisses to her. Instead of getting to watch them grow, learn and play together, we see him look off in the distance, randomly wave to nothing we can see and babble in the corner to himself. I know she is with him, holding him, protecting him, teasing him and loving him. The "Now" is a rewarding place but with a lot of holes the exact size and shape of Mary. Our "now" will never be whole, but we are all doing our best to always keep her part of our everyday.
****Rainbow Pic****
#captureyourgrief #day3 #before Sometimes it can be difficult to remember what life was like before losing Izzie. I was a person who believed in living happily ever after. I believed in right and wrong, good and bad. I believed everything happened for a reason. Sometimes I catch a glimpse of the old me. But mostly I have a hard time recognizing her.
She isn't bad or good. Just different.
#captureyourgrief #day4 #now Life now is very different. Not only for the life we lost, but for the new life we have. It can be strange to balance the love and joy I have for my son with the sorrow and grief I still carry for my daughter. Izzie's brief life taught me so much about love. I cherish every moment I have with those I love. I struggle not to let anxiety and fear ruin my ability to enjoy these moments. (Note - infectious disease outbreaks do NOT help said anxiety). I like to think that Izzie made me a better person. A better mom.