Article to discuss

kcisthebombdotcom

...along the same lines of the spouse vs kids debate... https://qz.com/273255/how-american-parenting-is-killing-the-american-marriage/

fintin

I feel like society is so extreme. If you aren't a great parent you're a bad parent. If you aren't a great spouse who puts their spouse first all the time, you're a bad spouse. If you put your kid in time out you are ruining your child emotionally. I just can't anymore. @-)

Aussie45

fintin said:

I feel like society is so extreme. If you aren't a great parent you're a bad parent. If you aren't a great spouse who puts their spouse first all the time, you're a bad spouse. If you put your kid in time out you are ruining your child emotionally. I just can't anymore. @-)

Pretty much this. There are so many extremes with parenting, relationships, and marriages that I just roll my eyes. What works for me with my marriage and my parenting, doesn't mean it'll work for others. I'm sure some people wouldn't like my methods. As long as you do what works for you (within reason, no hurting anyone), then what the fuck ever dude. I just don't care.

Keeptruckin

I think I am in the minority where I do not believe there is one true love for everyone. I am realistic. I love my husband and hope our marriage lasts. But at least half of us on here will divorce. I know I could be happy with another partner. It would take time and healing. It's not that I think I could replace him, it's more I don't think there is any way I could replace my daughter at all. I cannot imagine a future without her. If I was forced to I could imagine one without DH. I don't want to imagine it but it's possible. I think it's silly to think anyone would have to choose between being a good partner or a good mom.

kcisthebombdotcom

Keeptruckin said:

I think I am in the minority where I do not believe there is one true love for everyone. I am realistic. I love my husband and hope our marriage lasts. But at least half of us on here will divorce. I know I could be happy with another partner. It would take time and healing. It's not that I think I could replace him, it's more I don't think there is any way I could replace my daughter at all. I cannot imagine a future without her. If I was forced to I could imagine one without DH. I don't want to imagine it but it's possible. I think it's silly to think anyone would have to choose between being a good partner or a good mom.

Statistically that just isn't true. The chance of divorce for a college educated couple making over $50k a year is somewhere around 8%. Divorce is disproportionately high among low income couples/young marriages but that isn't the "average" poster here. #randomstatisticsftw

But yeah, I agree in parts with the article--I do think sometimes couples do let children put a wedge in their marriage and make them grow apart, not together. I agree with the pps though that it's too far out there and there's a happy medium.