FFFC

michelle142

srcr2011 said:

michelle142 said:

srcr2011 said:

michelle142 said:

srcr2011 said:

michelle142 said:

srcr2011 said:

michelle142 said:

I don't see what the big deal is with the weight gain posts. No one is forcing you to share your stats.

No thanks! I don't even want to know my own weight, much less others.

So don't click on it? The post title is pretty self explanatory. No one is making you share, read or click.

Then start one, and we'll see how well it goes.

I don't need to, because (like you) I don't care about my weight or the weight of others. I just don't see what the big deal is about someone posting it when it's clear what it is. Either post or don't post, look or don't look. It's pretty easy to ignore things on the internet.

Wow! Thanks.

And FYI, yes, I do have some days that I feel fat (yes, I said it, FAT) and other days, I feel great. I still don't want to discuss my weight here on TB.

And good for you for not caring....
 

You said: "No thanks! I don't even want to know my own weight, much less others." So maybe saying you don't care wasn't accurate, more that you don't want to know (and neither do I).

I said that because I don't want obsess over it. All I am going to say is this,  I am in a healthy range, my BMI is where it should be for my height and most importantly,  my baby is healthy. I don't want to step on the scale every day to see the changes (obviously they are happening). Just because I don't want to know, doesn't mean I am "ignoring" it because I care so much.

In the grand scheme, that's what's important anyway. Baby is healthy and you're healthy.

It just bugs me when people get all up in arms over a post that could easily be scrolled right past.

michelle142

bhjones1980 said:

michelle142 said:

bhjones1980 said:

michelle142 said:

I don't need to, because (like you) I don't care about my weight or the weight of others. I just don't see what the big deal is about someone posting it when it's clear what it is. Either post or don't post, look or don't look. It's pretty easy to ignore things on the internet.

Many women on this board have shared their struggles with weight issues, body image and EDs in the past.

Having it sitting right there staring them in the face is a cruel tease when they may have the urge to look at the posted numbers, compare themselves to others, and generally just feel crappy about it.

I suffered through anorexia in middle school and high school. I have self image issues. But if I see a post I don't want to read or participate in, I simply ignore it.

I am glad you have that strength to ignore it

but others might not...

not sure why this is an argument.

I didn't try to make it an argument in the first place. As with everything else that gets posted in "FFFC", it turns into one anyway.

jaztastic

FWIW: If you want to comment about your weight say... in the random thread, I have no issues with that. You are making a personal comment. 

If you make a new thread and asking others to chime in about weight gain/weight loss/comparing one pregnancy to another... I take major issue with that. I think its worth letting people know that hey, this thread can cause some serious damage to another persons self image. 

Okay, now everyone kiss and make up. Dont make me tag/call you out

michelle142

jennjilljo

@michelle142 The problem comes in when women with compulsions tied to their previous or current ED's feel the need to look and compare. It's not a matter of will power for everyone because some just cannot help themselves. You don't offer an alcoholic a beer and you shouldn't dangling weight in front of someone with an ED because it is a severe mental health issue on top of being a physical health issue. Saying "just scroll past" minimizes the severity of real and serious condition. I understand that at one point you struggled with an ED and body image and I'm very glad that you overcame it but I think it's important to be sympathetic to those who have not gotten to the same point of recovery as you have yet.

@jaztastic Who are you? Butlers, tuxedos, ice sculptures? For a baby shower? I'm keeping my eyes on People until we give birth to figure out which celeb we're all getting to know  But really, that sounds amazing and I want to see pictures of your baby gala.

michelle142

BTW @jaztastic you're shower sounds more extravagant than my wedding. I can't decide if that's awesome or crazy. But I'm leaning towards awesome.

I feel weird even calling it a "baby shower", it should be like... a "baby extravaganza" or something.

srcr2011

jaztastic said:

FWIW: If you want to comment about your weight say... in the random thread, I have no issues with that. You are making a personal comment. 

If you make a new thread and asking others to chime in about weight gain/weight loss/comparing one pregnancy to another... I take major issue with that. I think its worth letting people know that hey, this thread can cause some serious damage to another persons self image. 

Okay, now everyone kiss and make up. Dont make me tag/call you out

:-* 

michelle142

@srcr2011 your gif is way better to look at than my overly large kissy face.

srcr2011

jaztastic

.

@jaztastic Who are you? Butlers, tuxedos, ice sculptures? For a baby shower? I'm keeping my eyes on People until we give birth to figure out which celeb we're all getting to know  But really, that sounds amazing and I want to see pictures of your baby gala.

I'll never tell!! 

lizjennings81

@jaztastic, that's going to be some shower!

I confess I wish I'd politely refused my shower. It's turning into a logistical and drama llama nightmare. From driving everyone all over the place to pick up supplies/food to entertaining my FIL because he insists on crashing, everyone's relying too much on my husband and me when we shouldn't be involved at all, right?

jaztastic

just the front of the invitation...

jaztastic

lizjennings81 said:

@jaztastic, that's going to be some shower!

I confess I wish I'd politely refused my shower. It's turning into a logistical and drama llama nightmare. From driving everyone all over the place to pick up supplies/food to entertaining my FIL because he insists on crashing, everyone's relying too much on my husband and me when we shouldn't be involved at all, right?

Liz.... the power of NO!! You (and your H) have to be your advocates. 

AshleySparkle720

My family and friends are throwing me a total of 3 showers. One in Ohio and two in Minnesota. Each host has asked for picture ideas and a guest list. I would rather it be this way. I hate traditional baby showers. Plus, each shower will have 30+ people at it because my family and social circle is so large. Luckily for the hosts I get really guilty about picking out expensive things. I got all my high maintenance out for my wedding.

MrsRoy07

Can I do a FFFC? I wish someone would come over and take my daughter to the park or something, so I don't have to feel guilty about how much tv she's watching bc I feel like crap, but I also don't have to be the one to actually take her out. I just don't feel like movinng! Also @jaztastic that sounds friggin amazing!! I'm having a second shower that I'm excited about but won't talk about so I don't get judged by all the shower haters.

srcr2011

michelle142 said:

@srcr2011 your gif is way better to look at than my overly large kissy face.

The ladies who taught me how to gif created a monster.

jennjilljo

FFFC: Today is DH's first day back on day shift and I'm loving it. With him being gone first thing in the morning I feel like I can get things done without being judged. I've already done twice my normal daily workload with him not here. The real confession? Half of what I've gotten done includes picking out a new maternity coat and relaxing. I'm also letting DS have his own off day. I didn't even make him put on clothes. He picked a sweater that he likes, put it on and that's all we're doing for this rainy day.

AF9211

I completely understand where you're coming from @mrsroy07 except ours is a different battle. I don't mind taking DD out to the park or in our yard but she throws the biggest temper tantrums/hysterical crying scream fests when it's time to come back inside, and I just don't have the energy or patience to listen to it.

lizjennings81

jaztastic said:

lizjennings81 said:

@jaztastic, that's going to be some shower!

I confess I wish I'd politely refused my shower. It's turning into a logistical and drama llama nightmare. From driving everyone all over the place to pick up supplies/food to entertaining my FIL because he insists on crashing, everyone's relying too much on my husband and me when we shouldn't be involved at all, right?

Liz.... the power of NO!! You (and your H) have to be your advocates. 

Trust me, we're trying! Starting with his parents this weekend.

jaztastic

AshleySparkle720 said:

My family and friends are throwing me a total of 3 showers. One in Ohio and two in Minnesota. Each host has asked for picture ideas and a guest list. I would rather it be this way. I hate traditional baby showers. Plus, each shower will have 30+ people at it because my family and social circle is so large. Luckily for the hosts I get really guilty about picking out expensive things. I got all my high maintenance out for my wedding.

I thought I got the high maintenance stuff out of the way too... apparently I can be guilt free about this shindig. I hope you get to enjoy each of them drama free!! 

rosieo52

jaztastic said:

I gave the vision of what I wanted to go for... but I had no idea my mom/friends were taking it to this level. Im pretty excited and enjoying the ride. I got an email today with an appointment for the cake tasting on Wednesday and whether or not I can make it. I was very involved in the beginning but now I have taken a step back and Mom&Co are coming to me with finalized details on this or that. 

Just a few tidbits...

1) Its a winter wonderland theme... and its being called the Welcome to Parenting Gala

2)I found out DH picked out his tux already... who the fuck wears a tux?? hence me needing a really awesome dress, I cant be outdone by the guy who isnt doing any of the work (cocktail party attire for all other guests)

3) Assorted butlered appetizers (beef wellington puffs anyone?)

4) Im doing a name reveal at the shower for the baby... Mom decided it should be in Gobo lighting. 

5) My bestfriend asked for my top picks in ice sculptures from the samples emailed over. 

... I am so ready to party... I keep forgetting this is about the baby. 

This totally sounds like a wedding reception! Can we all come? You live it up and enjoy your shower. And I want to see pics!

lizjennings81

jaztastic said:

just the front of the invitation...

That's a gorgeous invite!

logahn4281

Jaztastic that sounds amazing... Can the rest of the ladies and I get a invite and ride a baby party bus with tons of food to the shower.

My FFFC - I really want to go home, I've done all of my work for today and still have until 4:30 til time to go.... Hmm should I have a pregnant moment and hide in the bathroom for 20 mins. Hmm we will see.

jaztastic

My LB can come and represent for all of you. 

michelle142

I'm glad there will be no baby shower this time. I dislike needing to write that many thank you notes. My family, combined with DH's family equals close to 120 people just through female aunts and first cousins. It's just too much.

pitdigger

@jaztastic That sounds amazing and the invitation looks lovely.  

I've got nothing really to confess, except that I'm being generally unhelpful to my mom about the shower.  It's not that I don't care.  It's just that I'm not fussed.  I just want to hang out with my high school friends and have food and drink for an afternoon.  Thankfully, that's all my mom really wants to plan, so it's going well.  She just asked me today what I thought about having a sushi platter because she could accommodate most people's dietary restrictions/preferences and all I said was that sounds nice and cake, but cake is completely optional.

jaztastic

michelle142 said:

I'm glad there will be no baby shower this time. I dislike needing to write that many thank you notes. My family, combined with DH's family equals close to 120 people just through female aunts and first cousins. It's just too much.

Exactly the part Im not looking forward to. I just may go the route of generic printed thank-yous. I cant tell you the last time I got a thank-you card for any event Ive attended outside of a wedding. 

AshleySparkle720

@jaztastic I've been very lucky to have a family that is truly 99% drama free. They're very " don't look at the price. Just pick out whatever you want" about everything. So I have always felt like I give myself a budget when it comes to birthday parties, bridal showers, the wedding, and now this. I hate spending other people's money. Even if I know they have no problem spending it. Haha

twinklymama

Baby showers. I am scared. This is my 3rd baby (DDs are 10 and 11). This is my DH first baby and first baby for his side of the family. DH has a ton of friends, women included, and I have never had that many friends. It makes me nervous because I've had some of his friends say they want to throw a baby shower, but I don't know them as well as I'd like to where I'd feel comfortable being the center of attention. DH doesn't want to go to a baby shower, but him being there would really take a load off my shoulders (and I'd feel like it was for him, not me). I get super stressed over lots of people or being the center of attention, the walk down the aisle was enough to make me ill. How on earth do I handle a baby shower??? Our bridal shower had probably 50 people. And that required ativan! And DH was there beside me the whole time! (Oh anxiety, I wish you'd f off!) can we just skip the whole thing?

lizjennings81

I think I have a crush on the doc I just interviewed. Super smart, dedicated to helping kids, sweet as can be, and pretty handsome. *fans self*

MrsTucker2011

lizjennings81 said:

I voted for Halloween costume fails, but in practice (and with a computer screen that faces my office door), I had to hide signatures for this month. Some are funny, but some border on NSFW. Sorry, peeps.

I'm usually mobile, but just logged on through the desktop. *gag* Going back to mobile...

mommaa1615

@jaztastic‌ holy cow sounds amazing! !!!

foxslaw

michelle142 said:

I feel fat all the time, FYI, but I don't get all butthurt about it because of things strangers post online.

It's not getting "butthurt" when you're struggling with a disorder. The title alone is a trigger for many of us. It's like putting a bowl of skittles on the counter & insisting we can't eat any. @michelle142‌

@jennhillhoite beat me to the punch with a perfectly crafted response, per usual.

stefani103

@jaztastic's shower is way nicer than my wedding. And here I thought my shower was all fancy for being at a nice restaurant. Have a blast! 

My FFFC: A couple years ago, a lady at work was a major AW during pregnancy. It was so bad, it made me determined to not be that kind of person. But as I progress and can actually feel the little ninja regularly, it's becoming tougher and tougher not to AW myself everywhere. Self restraint is hard. (I totally AW myself with family, so they're getting the brunt of it.)

mishka29

AF9211 said:

I completely understand where you're coming from @mrsroy07 except ours is a different battle. I don't mind taking DD out to the park or in our yard but she throws the biggest temper tantrums/hysterical crying scream fests when it's time to come back inside, and I just don't have the energy or patience to listen to it.

When I read this my first thought was "how old is this kid?" Ahhh the same age as my DD which is why this sounded so familiar. It's painful sometimes bc you never know when the next fit is coming. Today I was that mother wrestling my kid on the ground trying to put on her rain coat at the front door of the daycare.

AF9211

@mishka29 it's very painful! I've learned to avoid "trigger" words...like out & outside...because she'll just keep screaming OUTSIDE, OUTSIIIIDE! It's hard because she's still too young to fully understand when I sit her down and explain things. I'm praying she's going through the terrible 2's early!

Angeldcf

FFFC/Whine: I'm still feeling ambivalent towards this pregnancy.  No negative or troubling feelings- just well, nothing.  I see posts of people gushing about their new boy/girl and super excited to buy things.  I can't relate.  Work is throwing me (well, 3 of us/spouses due close together) a small shower and asked where I registered.  Being my 2nd kid, I haven't and didn't expect a shower. The idea of registering (wipes, outlet plugs, ???) is exhausting.

I thought I'd feel more once baby started moving.  I felt flutters/tiny kicks last week but still blah.  At times, I forget I'm actually pg.  With DS, I loved being the "pg princess" and getting attention from my belly.  This time, I feel uncomfortable when it's mentioned and try to change the subject.  I feel fat and unsexy.

I know most of this stems from this being unplanned, and we were in a rocky place- not bad, just feel like we're faking it.  We're basically roommates who co-parent.  We're great as mom-dad-baby, but once kiddo is asleep, we're just here.  Both work full-time so both tired. I got home from work as he was finishing a show.  I showered, we passed in the hall, peck on cheek and he's been asleep for almost 2 hrs.  Had our 9 yr anniv this week- made dinner at home, ate w/kiddo, exchanged generic cards both purchased that day, then slept.  Lather, rinse, repeat for the past 18 wks.

may delete later

jennjilljo

Hugs @Angeldcf‌. I know that weird zombie routine. DH and I have been there so I understand. Can you guys hire a baby shower for a date night or showing maybe? It helped us when we took a trip to his parents house and went on a date. We have since tried to make sure we speak up when we start feeling like that and we try to do a date night every 6 months. It usually helps us to have time as a couple instead of as patents.

mishka29

@Angeldcf‌ Hugs to you! I can relate. Your post has reminded me that I need to put more effort forward. DH suggested going to this game board night on Halloween. There isn't even a tiny little piece of me that wants to do this but I will for him.

Angeldcf

Thanks ladies.  Felt a little down last night and isolated.  It truly is helpful to see I'm not alone.