Has anyone thought about

purplehaze11

Adoption?

purplehaze11

DH and I briefly talked about it after my loss in July. We also talked about being OAD. After receiving a diagnosis of the believed cause for my losses, I've mentally been thinking it over again. How much heartache do I want to go through, with an already healthy, beautiful, kiddo. Just wondering if anyone else has thought about it!

barackollama

We talked about it after my loss also. I got the beginning information. It's at the back of my mind but we'll try iui first.

BootsOrHearts

We started to go down the path last year but DH said he wasn't ready. 

ellebelle2384

Yes. We weren't able to start the process this year as our house was under major renovations and would never pass a home study. If we have one more loss we are doing IVF. If we have two failed IVFs or a loss after IVF we will pursue adoption.

purplehaze11

What about the process put you off @dani_brewer‌ (considering we are your neighbours, lol) please pm me if you don't want to post if at all possible.

purplehaze11

Ugh, that's terrible I've heard the process here is not great either, and can take a long time domestically. But like where you are, private isn't an option due to legislation. I think we would try to adopt within the 2-5 age range if we did it, but I'd like him/her to be near DD's age, and due to the wait times who the heck knows.

purplehaze11

So you can't adopt a child older than the one you have @dani_brewer‌ ?

megastar007

I've known that I've wanted to adopt since way before even thinking of having our DS.  I had always said that I wanted to have a son, adopt a son and then have a daughter.  Well... I have my son and now we for some reason can't conceive.  I wonder if I put that notion out into the universe for too long?  If it weren't so expensive, we'd do it in a heartbeat.  My DH only wants to adopt a baby (his sister was adopted as an older toddler and he thinks lots of her issues stem from that), so it will be really pricey and unfortunately we just don't have the funds for it right now

BookishMomma

DH brought it up shortly after my last loss. Like the day we found out about the MMC. I told him I wasn't ready for that conversation. We recently talked about it again, where we ranked our preferences for no more kids, adoption, or IVF if we ever get to that point. I said my preference was: IVF, no more kids, adoption. His was: adoption, no more kids, IVF. Yeah, we're not on the same page about that.

I used to think I would want to adopt, theoretically, before all of this shit happened. But I'm one of those weird women who love being pregnant. I want to be pregnant and give birth again. I'm not ready to give up that dream yet.

purplehaze11

@bookishmama‌ , DH and I are on different pages as well. I haven't quite decided my rankings yet, depends on what plan is developed at my OB appointment next week. We both have a biological child as number one for now, then he's OAD, and I'm undecided.

lilmac2929

I definitely have.  We have even gone to the meetings/research etc. We are saving up just in case. It will likely be another year before we pull the trigger but I am definitely open to it. 

Millimeter

We want to adopt whether we have any more biological children or not. A friend has adopted two special needs children from China once his kids were a little older, and we'd love to do that. As long as we can afford it, we'd love to do so as well.

barackollama

@sarcaztic10‌ We're leaning towards giving little girl an amazing childhood. Not that she'd be deprived with a sibling. Just that we'll take more trips and do more activities with a single.

purplehaze11

@sarcaztic10‌ and @PrincessPetunias‌ , I think that is where will will go if my fertility after all this fibroid craziness still leads to another loss. I need to mentally decide to be done and stop focusing on ttc at some point, and I'm getting closer.

barackollama

It's tough but I know I'm 4 cycles away from being done TTC (including this one that should end this week.)