PPD and anxiety increase due to TTC... ** Losses mentioned

Dannie138

So after 4 boys and 4 losses's, (including my last son, who was said to be a girl and I found out in the OR they were wrong!), we are looking at IVF with PGD for the girl. Between my losses and my surprise, I have PPD still (he's 14 months old). It's been okay recently, but we had our IVF consult yesterday and my anxiety is awful since. Really, to the point I was crying last night and my husband was concerned--- I should be happy that we're moving on towards a potential girl.  I am, but I'm thinking of all the "what if's"...what if I can't have a girl for whatever reason, or what if I go through all these miscarriages again..

It's bad enough that I just have the urge to throw in the towel, which is totally not like me...I've always dreamed of a daughter.

deanna1313

Have you been talking to anyone whether it's a support group or a psychologist?
I don't know that I can give you any advice or help because I'm a FTM with PPD and I'm having trouble with the thought of having another baby. My Son is only 4mths old. I've always wanted a lot of kids and always wanted a boy and a girl at least. So I don't blame you for wanting a girl.

Dannie138

No, I haven't. I have a degree in counseling and I keep thinking that I'll try to analyze the psychologist too much. lol...

I'm on Zoloft, which has seemed to help with the PPD, but this level of anxiety coming back is terrible. I've been trying to workout more and eat better, but I think part of it is that in about 2 weeks, all the evaluation testing begins again, the same testing that I had done when I had my losses... and of course, the unknown of the future.

How are you helping your PPD? Is your doctor and family being supportive?

deanna1313

I am a FTM and my don is just 4 mths old. So I'm not that far out. I had a fabulous pregnancy with no anxiety or depression.
My family and friends are extremely supportive. I also go to a support group, see a psychologist and my family dr for blood work.
Everyone of those people have helped greatly in there own way and it's been great. I can't believe how understanding everyone is.
I did a lot if anxiety relieving things like diaphragmatic breathing, exercise, sitting in the sun, etc. the depression is slowly getting better in it's own. I'm not on meds and it's just been time that's helped.
it's really been a struggle and although I'm doing better I'm not 100%.

Is your family supportive and are you getting any help?

Dannie138

My husband is very supportive, however he thinks I need to be doing more. I fought meds for months, then when it began to effect my job as a teacher, I decided to see how I would do on it...It took some getting used to, but it's helped.

I just did my yearly physical and found out my vitamin D is "severely" low. I have to take 50,000 units a week now! I do feel better when I exercise (3-5 times a week) regularly. Those weeks where I just don't have the time, I feel pretty lethargic. 

I wish there was just a magic pill to "snap out of it"!

deanna1313

Me, too! I just want to feel like me again.
I think vitamin D can have a lot to do with anxiety and depression. I think I read that somewhere. Hope that helps!!!

Dannie138

I'm going to keep taking it and see if that helps. Hopefully!

deanna1313

Magnesium is an important supplement when it comes to anxiety and depression.
Good luck!