Probably going to have a scheduled c section, need advice and to vent..

AubriasMomma113

FIRST, IF YOU DONT AGREE WITH OR LIKE MIDWIVES KEEP THOSE OPINIONS TO YOURSELF PLEASE, THANK YOU.
Okay well my midwife scheduled an ultrasound to see if my baby has flipped head down yet next week and to see how big she has gotten. I will be 36 weeks on Monday. I already know my baby has yet to flip and honestly I just have this feeling she's not going to. I am totally okay with having a scheduled c section and I'm glad she is taking the precautions that she is but my parents are flipping out over it. They want me to wait until I'm in labor to see if my baby is going to flip and I'm not comfortable waiting like that. My dad is the worst he keeps telling me that if I had an actual doctor he wouldn't already schedule a c section with two weeks left. (When my midwife and I schedule my c section I'll be 37 weeks and we're going to schedule it for when I'm 39 weeks) also my midwife works in an office with two other doctors whom she consults on my treatment also and one of the doctors in her office will perform my c section, not her. But anyway My dad keeps acting like she knows nothing and he knows more than she does! It's driving me insane he also flips out because the baby will come a week early if I have a c section. He acts like its the end of the world. And it's like they want to be in control of the delivery of my child and mind you I'm 21 years old. I'm totally comfortable with the decisions my midwife has discussed with me and it's like they're not taking that into account. I get that recovery will be longer and harder but it's not like they have any other way to get her out! Lol my dad even had the nerve to suggest that my midwife can shove her whole hand through my cervix into my uterus and turn my baby! There's no way I'd even allow that! And he says it wouldn't be any different than the baby coming out everything's stretched out but he's ignorant of the fact that your vagina hole does not dialate! Your cervix does. But yet he knows just so much more than my doctor. Lol okay I think I'm done ranting now. I just have nobody to vent to.

scubakate

I am so sorry you're going through this.  Is there any reason they are scheduling the section at 39 weeks?  Is there any risk to letting you go to 40?

AubriasMomma113

Thank you it's been stressful dealing with my parents. And because she doesn't want me to go into labor and then have the c section because then it's considered and emergency c section so at our hospital they schedule them at 39 weeks to be safe.

nunzchucks

I mean, a 39w c-section for a breech baby is standard procedure where I am from. That's how it is. Sorry, Dad, not your choice.

saraeric

I had a csection for a breech baby who we didn't know was breech....labored for 14 hrs with no progress. Anyway, I had a really easy recovery. So much better than what I was expecting. It sounds like you're in good hands. Sorry to hear your family isn't being supportive, I think you're making the right decision. The goal is healthy mom, healthy baby.

jcrising

It's your body and your baby, and I truly believe you should listen to your instincts. I know it's hard to stand up to your parents, but this is the time to do it. It will also help you assert yourself as the mother of this child. There will be a million little decisions to be made, and some big ones. You are the mommy, and this is the time to make sure your parents understand that. Good luck!

harmonicbabe26

scubakate said:

I am so sorry you're going through this.  Is there any reason they are scheduling the section at 39 weeks?  Is there any risk to letting you go to 40?

With a breech presentation 39w+ is standard procedure to schedule, if nothing else for purely logistical reasons. You can always push it closer to 40w but with a caveat that if you go into spontaneous labor with a breech child there may be some additional complications.

My first was breech, this one is too so far. We tried a version with no luck. Then my doc said if I wanted to attempt a breech delivery that was my choice but he wouldn't be able to assist much really. I guess it is much harder to get a baby out that way. And I wasn't interested in risking both our lives. So CS it was.

Also apparently it is a lot less common for babies to flip head down that far along, despite what many non-professionals (as in discussion forum users) keep proclaiming.

As far as I know even if you do have a cs scheduled for breech, before the surgery they will double check the position of the baby and IF at that point LO has in fact flipped, you can still opt out and wait to deliver vaginally later.

AubriasMomma113

The reason I worry with it is because it's not just them disagreeing with it like my father literally screamed at me over all of it because he doesn't agree with it and he gets me all worked up over it. I try to keep my mouth shut n let him talk but listening to it every time you visit gets to be too much even after I repeatedly tell them that if she doesn't flip were scheduling the c section. But yeah I'm definitely not budging on my decision for them. They like to have control over everything and when they don't it's like the end of the world idk why they're like that but it's annoying. Part of me hopes for a c section just because then it's only me and the daddy in the room n I don't have to deal with choosing people to go in with me lol but I don't care how she gets here as long as she's safe and healthy and I'm safe and healthy and to me going into labor knowing she's sideways isn't safe.

lneice0160

I'm sorry for all the stress from your dad. I had a scheduled c-section and I'm happy that I did it and that I get a second one in April. It wasn't nearly as bad as I anticipated. If it feels right to you then do it, I'm sure you chose a midwife that's experienced and knows what she is doing, I wish your dad understood that. Personally I'm not a MW person but I'm not going to be mean or hateful to someone for it and downgrade their choice. You're an adult, and your dad will understand one day that you are in charge of your child and your body, maybe he's being protective in a way or just terrified and doesn't want to show weakness...my mom was skeptical of my drs until she sat down and basically drilled them on their knowledge, now she recommends them...maybe your dad could talk to your MW about his concerns?

beaniousmaximus

This is my second pregnancy. I had a csection my first pregnancy at 41 weeks after failure to dialate, and this time I'll be having a scheduled csection at 39 weeks. I honestly don't think that having the baby a week early will make a huge difference. It's definitely not something that I'm worried about. It's nobody else's business other than your own. If you feel comfortable with this decision and you trust your midwife, your parents should be supporting you. You should feel as confident as possible and I completely agree with how you feel How YOU feel about the whole thing should be your parent's top priority. (Maybe remind them that causing a pregnant woman extra stress isn't good for the baby either??) He certainly shouldn't be screaming at you about it. 

AubriasMomma113

Thanks ladies!! I'm glad to know I'm not crazy lol I'm not sure what exactly his problem is and I wish I could have him talk to her but he's so opinionated and closed minded that he'd probably just be rude to her n not listen to what she has to say. It's sad really. I wish they'd let me be an adult and just leave my choices alone but if it's not their way they don't like it so pretty much I have to listen to them flip out and just not respond or it turns into a fight

okayestmom12

nunzchucks said:

I mean, a 39w c-section for a breech baby is standard procedure where I am from. That's how it is. Sorry, Dad, not your choice.

Exactly what she said.  With DD, I was scheduled for my c/s due to breech position at 39w.  

Ardmhs83

I had my son at 38+1 by a c/s due to him being breech.  I was scheduled by my OB at 39 weeks, but contractions kicked in sooner.  It is standard practice, whether it is a midwife or OB.  Your dad is wrong.

However, I must say...I've heard of some babies turning super late...so anything is possible!  If you are interested in trying a vaginal birth you can look into chiropractic care, moxibustion or possibly a version.  If you are totally wanting they c/s, then do that, but I didn't try these things and just rolled with the punches and now I regret not trying.  Now I'm dealing with trying and praying to get my VBAC.  I am one of those who absolutely HATED my c/s though!  Everyone is different.

Good luck!

AubriasMomma113

usernameedit said:

My older sister's OB scheduled her CS for 39 weeks due to breech, so it's not just midwives.
Your dad has no clue.

The fact that he's screaming at you over it is ridiculous.  You need to tell him that it's your pregnancy and your healthcare and he can either respect your wishes or you aren't going to visit him until the baby is born or he stops acting like a child about it. 

Seriously - don't go visit him if he's going to yell at you about this.

Yeah I'm not visiting with them much more until my daughter arrives I went to visit once since then and got into another huge argument over this stuff. Once again throwing in my face that my midwife knows nothing bc she's not an md.

AubriasMomma113

Ardmhs83 said:

I had my son at 38+1 by a c/s due to him being breech.  I was scheduled by my OB at 39 weeks, but contractions kicked in sooner.  It is standard practice, whether it is a midwife or OB.  Your dad is wrong.

However, I must say...I've heard of some babies turning super late...so anything is possible!  If you are interested in trying a vaginal birth you can look into chiropractic care, moxibustion or possibly a version.  If you are totally wanting they c/s, then do that, but I didn't try these things and just rolled with the punches and now I regret not trying.  Now I'm dealing with trying and praying to get my VBAC.  I am one of those who absolutely HATED my c/s though!  Everyone is different.

Good luck!

Thank you! I am on the fence about what I want though I did definitely want a c section but now that I know I can't have immediate skin to skin contact with her with a c section and I'll only see her like 10 minutes her first hour of life I'm not so sure I want a c section. I have my ultrasound Thursday n I highly doubt she's flipping between now and then so then we'll schedule my c section but I'm hoping we get lucky and she flips before the 27th. And I may look into the other things but I won't try a version. It scares me too much lol and only works like 60% of the time.

britb618

Good Luck @aurbriasmomma113. I hope you get whatever outcome you are hoping for. It was really only the first 30 minutes of her life that I wasn't around for due to the c-section. I've been "told" that depending on the hospital if its not an emergency c-section you can actually do skin to skin immediately. I am going to ask about this at my next doctors appointment. Either way as you know the best thing to do for you and your baby is to get your baby delivered safely so whatever the doctors recommend I would do  

runningal220

I found out my baby was breech at 38w4days, went in at 39 weeks to try a version and it didn't work so had a section. They told us standard procedure for breech is 39w so you don't risk any complications (like the cord dropping, etc) if you go into labor. Also they had my husband go shirtless under his sterile suit so he could do skin to skin until I was stitched up and ready to go to the recovery room. They cleaned off baby then handed him right over to my husband who was sitting beside me the whole time, as soon as they transferred me to a hospital bed they put baby with me skin to skin to wheel to recovery.

AubriasMomma113

Well we're scheduling my section on Monday and I'm sure she'll answer any questions I have then. Ultrasound today confirmed baby is still transverse, which I already knew lol and she's got her back laying low and her feet high. I asked her at my appointment last Monday about skin to skin n everything n she said I can't do it in the or but as soon as I get back to my room for recovery I can.
I never thought of asking if my fiancé can do skin to skin instead I'm also not looking forward to being left alone in the or while they stitch me up. But I refuse a version so c section it is! Lol I'm actually more worried about the catheter than I am them cutting me open

HeavenBlessedMom

U might be talking to him too much. Try keeping distance awhile. these actions are great.. I've had two. After my daughter, I was running in 10 days. No actual recovery..after the triplets, it was a different story but the recovery was easy.. Just severely hemorrhaged Due to the amount of baby but the C section was fine.

runningal220

The only time I was alone was when they were prepping me, even then all the hospital staff were there and very good about keeping me calm and encouraged. Baby and husband were right beside me while they stitched me up!

lm-oquinn

I saw a midwife for most of my pregnancy (whom I loved) and ended up having a scheduled c-section at 39 weeks with a doctor from the same practice. It really was the safest option for us and I have no regrets about it. I know it varies based on the hospital and the doctor but the only time my husband wasn't with me was for maybe 3 minuets when I first got into the OR, other than that he was with me from check in until they brought me to my hospital room. I hope everything goes well for you and I'm really sorry that your dad is giving you such a hard time.

lcloffredo

I did not have a section with my first but will this time. I will have it at 38weeks at my OBs recommendation because I am carrying twins with a breech baby a. My mom had a scheduled c-section with me and is still freaking out about my surgery. She wants to meet the doctor, be at the hospital (she can't be in the OR). She worries are they waiting too long, are they not waiting long enough, you name it and I'm sure she has thought it! I think part of what you are dealing with is parental anxiety on your dad's part. (Which you will experience yourself someday soon!) It's annoying, but not too much longer till you delivery anyway!