Discipling humorous/funny things?

fancynewbeesly

I think I fail at this part. Reese for the most part is a pretty good 3 year old. However, one of her character traits (and most likely out of necessity/everything going on); she has no problem relating to adults; and taking the "adult" role in the activity/with friends/etc.

For example, she REALLY thinks she is in charge of the younger children at the babysitter. (There are two other kids--around 2). Her babysitter says that she could leave to get coffee and Reese would have everyone in line. She reminds them of the rules. Reminds them they need to eat healthy. The amusing thing is they listen to her.

Fast forward to today. i went to pick her up at the babysitter's, and about 5 minutes before I got there, this scenario happened:

Boy: (was kicking the door)

Babysitter: Please stop we don't kick doors.

Boy: (continues to kick)

Reese: Stop ____. I am in charge.

Boy: (continues to kick)

Reese: Don't Cross me. 

WTF! How can I even discipline or talk to her about it because it was SO humorous and truthfully, she probably didn't even think she did anything wrong. I did remind her that the babysitter is in charge and to use kind words to her friends, but who knows what she actually got from that. 

fintin

That is so cute I would not have been able to discipline for that either. My ds was and still is like this. He is the oldest of the grandchildren so he is always watching out and making sure they behave.

cyprissa

T constantly corrects G in a very similar way and when I tell him to mind his own business and let me take care of G, he says in a really huffy voice "I take care of my brother!"

SouthernAcorn

We were at a cookout when C was about 3 years old. An older girl was climbing up the slide and if C had some pearls she would have clutched them. As she sat at the top of the slide she repeatedly told the girl "No! We don't climb up slides!" The older girl didn't listen and climbed over her when she got to the top. She had her back to C talking to another child and C began to internalize the situation. I watched from a nearby picnic table as C looked at the girl, looked at her hand, licked her finger, wiped it on the back of the girl's leg, and slid down the slide. It was one of the funniest things she's ever done and I didn't reprimand her for it.

YogaSandy

Haha. Here is the adult version. My sister is 10 years younger than I am and 7 years younger than my brother, so growing up we often had to babysit.

My brother has always been very protective of my sister. He often thought he had to discipline her etc too. My sister was prob about 17 and wanted to do something or other. My mom let her. My brother was mad because he didn't think she should. He was seriously mad, not pretend. My mom told him that she was the parent and it was up to her. My brother's answer was he should get a say, because he spent all that time raising her too. I don't remember what the way issue was, but my sister was still allowed to do it because mom let her.

fancynewbeesly

-auntie- said:

It's hard to say.

Cute as this is at 3, it has consequences even as early as preschool. Peers will be put off by this behavior which for most kids is an excellent natural consequence from which to learn. 

By 6, the kind of kid who is the rule police outside of her own siblings is pretty universally reviled.

For DS, it was a function of his ASD and anxiety. It was a manifestation of not "getting" that he was a child; feeling her had the responsibility of making other kids behave upped his anxiety. We constantly reminded him it wasn't his job and worked on the difference between telling and tattling.

Oh, I agree. I am an educator and I see it in the classes I teach. And unfortunately, I believe with Reese it is more circumstance. We had to delay preschool with her AND many social activities. She goes to a babysitter, but she is the oldest there--there is two other kids, and they are 2. So, she just feels she is in charge. And when she is at her doctor appointments, the doctors/nurses/child life/etc talk to her as an adult. 

Mostly we just reinforce that she isn't in charge. Unfortunately the other kids listen to her a lot; which doesn't help her ego---she really THINKS she is in charge.