Baby Naming Stress

reschwemer

Our baby girl is due October 23, just 3 short weeks away.  We are having some major stress related to baby naming that has lead to us getting into some pretty big fights.  Since I was 14, I have wanted to name my first born after my grandmother, Murial, by using the "M" for the first name and use Rose as a middle name in honor of my maiden name "Rosenwald".  My husband is totally on board with it and we have a short list of first names to go to the hospital with.

It may seem like what is there to fight about but here comes the newest issue. Being Jewish, we will be giving our baby a Hebrew name as well.  Since my family is being honored with the English name, my husband wants to use names from his side of the family for the Hebrew.  I am on board with that which again might beg one to ask, where is the issue.

The issue comes down to my parents.  They assumed that in naming the little one after my family, that her Hebrew name would also be after my grandmother Murial and my other grandmother, whose last name was Rosenwald.  When I told them that was not what we were going to do, all hell broke loose.  Now everyone is upset and some pretty mean things are being said causing me major stress.

I just want everyone to be happy but there is no way to win here.  Either I upset my husband or I upset my parents.  I know people say "she is your baby with your husband so do what you think is right." How do I figure this out without sacrificing on both sides?  Help please!!!!

DaisyZH

Stick with your DH on this one.  Explain nicely to your parents one more time that your DD will be named for your grandmother and therefore her Hebrew name will honor DH's family.  Both families are being honored.

  If (or when) they freak out take a step back and let it go.  Unfortunately you might need to avoid them for a while until they can be respectful to you.  They shouldn't be stressing you out and saying hurtful things to you, much less when you're weeks from giving birth.

I'm really sorry you're dealing with this.

PB&J714

^WSS

Also, maybe your family needs a gentle reminder that it took both you AND your DH to make this baby, so it is therefore appropriate to honor both of your families with your LO's name(s). 

As stressful as it may be, stick with your H on this. Your family will get over it eventually.

Helenahhandbasket

Stick with your original plan-- create a united front with your husband.  Do not discuss names again with your family.  If they bring it up, end the conversation abruptly.

Sorry you are dealing with this - Good luck to you.

nmrd

Ask your parents of they would rather have both the English and Hebrew name honor your husband's side?

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zebrapanther1311

Do not discuss names with your family anymore. If they bring it up, say you don't know yet and change the subject. They will get over it once the baby is here.

le bebe xo

reschwemer said:

Our baby girl is due October 23, just 3 short weeks away.  We are having some major stress related to baby naming that has lead to us getting into some pretty big fights.  Since I was 14, I have wanted to name my first born after my grandmother, Murial, by using the "M" for the first name and use Rose as a middle name in honor of my maiden name "Rosenwald".  My husband is totally on board with it and we have a short list of first names to go to the hospital with.

It may seem like what is there to fight about but here comes the newest issue. Being Jewish, we will be giving our baby a Hebrew name as well.  Since my family is being honored with the English name, my husband wants to use names from his side of the family for the Hebrew.  I am on board with that which again might beg one to ask, where is the issue.

The issue comes down to my parents.  They assumed that in naming the little one after my family, that her Hebrew name would also be after my grandmother Murial and my other grandmother, whose last name was Rosenwald.  When I told them that was not what we were going to do, all hell broke loose.  Now everyone is upset and some pretty mean things are being said causing me major stress.

I just want everyone to be happy but there is no way to win here.  Either I upset my husband or I upset my parents.  I know people say "she is your baby with your husband so do what you think is right." How do I figure this out without sacrificing on both sides?  Help please!!!!

You don't need to make ANY outsiders happy. Don't get it twisted, this child belongs to you and your partner. You are absolutely correct, there is no way to win when you try and please everyone, so don't even go there. For me it is a no-brainer: go with your gut, make a decision that you and your partner are happy with (not parents). 

Beevol

Your family is making a big deal out nothing - don't let them stress you out. 

saham07

Is it custom in your faith to give the same "honoree" both the English and Hebrew name? Is that is what is upsetting them? I am just curious. If they bring it up again, just say to them," our decision has been made, you know what it is and we will not discuss it further. DO NOT say I am sorry in any part of that statement! If you do this, it will set the ground work for you and your DH on doing it your own way without others trying to interfere. Be strong and confident!!

stahlop

We never discussed the Hebrew name with our parents. We did look for mars that could be used for honoring the same relative we were honoring with the English name, but in the end we went with what we liked. Tell your parents this is your baby and you will be naming it what you like.

MichaelaMTP

Hubby takes precedent. Your family will get over it.

llambrose

I would stick with the original plan. They seem to be being totally unreasonable. I think your original plan perfectly honors both families.