How long does your SO take to finish.

hooligans4

I know this is a personal thing but I just had to ask.
My husband takes at least 45 min to ejaculate when he is able to finish (he has ED). We have no quickies in my house. I always liked that he took so long to finish because who doesn't like 45+ minutes if pleasure. Because we are at it for a while sex used to be a once a week thing. Now that we are ttc once a week obviously isn't cutting it.
I managed to get him to have sex Saturday and Monday but we need to do it again Wednesday or
Thursday to get better odds of catching an egg. But he is going to protest I'm sure. He wants another child but he is more of if it happens it happens kind of guy.
It's just so frustrating.
Anyone else have this problem and if you do do you have any advice.

kelley72

Well, my dh occasionally will not be able to reach climax.  It is so freaking frustrating.  He is a generous lover so I'm not left in the cold, but when ttc that is obviously Not the point!  I perform oral on dh, we switch positions, sometimes even stop and wait until later to see if he can ejaculate.  If his blood pressure gets too high pretty much nothing will get him to completion.  The only thing I can suggest is what I've stated we do... just commiseration from me.  I so hope you (he!) is able to successfully finish the job.

Davie813

I've mentioned this on another thread, but when we need to procreate but are really, really not feeling it, we've had DH retire to our room with his iPad to watch whatever strikes his fancy and get juuuuussst about ready to finish.  Then I come in and we're done in less than a minute.  Probably not a great relationship builder, but desperate times = desperate measures.  I hope you find something that works for you!

One caution: I've read that if your DH has any sperm issues, you might want to avoid performing oral sex because saliva damages sperm.  You wouldn't think there would be much contact between the two, but there you have it...

sonpetitlapin

We average about 20 mins.....two to three times. I usually take the thunk on my head in the middle of the night as my cue. Yeah,I know, very romantic. But it works with our crazy selves. Occasionally we will get up there to those lengthy sessions but I have severe ADD and my attention span can only last for some time.

@Davie813 has a great point.  If it to much could he get himself to the point of ejaculation much faster himself and then you guys finish?

tlc35

Usually it is fine though last cycle he wasn't able to finish on O (and we had skipped -1) so that sucked.  We tried again but it just wasn't happening.  So frustrating.

WinoGrrl

We are usually around the 30 minute mark but I think mostly because H likes to make sure I'm having a good time first. He's already a little sensitive to "scheduled" sessions so I'm trying to figure something out for this month.

meredithcarole

Generally 20 - 30 minutes from start to finish.  Twice this week he hasn't finished, but he is a bit under the weather and I tried Pre Seed (or astro lube as DH is calling this) and he says it was almost too good.  Fabulous.  Anyway, he can be quick (10ish) if he is in the right frame of mind, but the other night when nothing came of it (heehee) we were at it for about an hour before throwing in the towel.

tmorash

It seems to vary for us a lot -- sometimes a marathon, sometimes a sprint.

It's good to hear of everyone else's struggles, and especially their solutions! It gives me a little hope for our chances going forward.

wannabmama23

Ours is all over the place, too, usually less than 20 mins. I do find with DH it's usually not going to happen for him if things go on too long. I'm all about a quickie, so that works for me.
I need to find ways to get more sessions in, tho, esp in the FW. I don't want to make it stressful for him so I keep the details fuzzy...but that means sometimes he doesn't notice my subtle encouragement when we need to get to HIO, ha!

hooligans4

@Rumbera28‌ tell me more if this ring you speak of. If it will help him I'm all in! [-O<

hooligans4

I'm envious of all you ladies who can get quickies.
It seems that we do all have our issues. I just wish this was easier for all of us.

TAT2MAMI

My DH would love to do it all day, every day if he could! Our sessions don't last as long as he would like to. Usually because he finishes quickly, OR I do and then he feels like he needs to finish.

Samuelismomma

Lurking..@hooligans4 there is a ring a man puts on as has little vibrator attached. I think it was first design really for Ed until the sex toy industry took it over. You don't have to get it at sex shop I think KY makes one and sell it by the lube plus if you have a store called Spencer's in the mall they have them. I know nothing sexually I seen these and H just told me what it was! Hahahahaha...

hooligans4

Thanks @Samuelismomma. I'm going to go to the store tomorrow and look for one.
Say hi to that little lady in your belly for me.

C_Girlie

I'm the quickie queen. Mist of the time I'm drained so 15 minutes us ample time for me. DH always finished. The only times he had trouble is when he had to produce specimens via ejaculation

siennamom

before TTC, DH has always been quick, too quick for me...  now that we are BD a lot on a regular basis, I'd say it takes him 10-15 min. 

Teenie16

I am so glad to read all of your responses! I don't know why I thought we were the only one having these kind of issues.
If we are doing it just because we want to we're clocking in at about an hour. But if its when it counts WHO KNOWS! He is so concerned whether or not I'm going to finish sometimes he doesn't and it's so frustrating. I don't want to put pressure on him but I think he does it to himself.
One thing that has worked for us is if he can't finish we take a breather for a few minutes and then we cuddle and I gently rub my bum against him. Then it's pretty quick after that. (Sorry if it's TMI!)

mcodea88

So my DH also would focus on waiting for me to finish first, but let's be honest... BD has a single goal, and that isn't it. However. To take that worry away from him, I use a vibrator on me while he is getting himself ready, he watches which helps him, the I finish and he is left with just one simple task. Easy peasy... Although it's never really a quickie. He has always taken a long time... 20 + minutes most times.