Hello and a question if I may

lovelyplanet

Hello everyone and Happy Tuesday,

This is my first post to this forum although I have been lurking and learning from you for a few weeks now. We are interested in DIA and are in the process of researching the various paths to decide what's right for us. We are pretty sure we would like to sign up with an agency (or agencies) but also advertise on our own. 

I am curious if others on this forum have pursued similar paths and if you have, did you choose an attorney first or the agency?

Thanks so much!         

nlscroggins

hi! we decided to seek a private adoption (without an agency) but instead found an adoption attorney that also does placements. she's sort of an adoption facilitator. i assume that you will probably be provided a lawyer (or at least a list of local options) through an agency? (someone correct me if i am wrong there!).

as for advertising on your own, we certainly recommend it. pass-along cards are great to make (think of little business card sized cards with your information on it and that you are looking to adopt)- they can be left at churches, hair salons, dr. offices, etc. also, it really does help to tell everyone you know that you are interested in adoption (if you're comfortable with that). you never know who may know someone looking to place a child. we recently even met a couple that bought a billboard advertising that they were looking to adopt- and it worked! never hurts to get your name out there! 

excited for you! good luck! 

jenbabe

We went with an agency the first time and a lawyer that facilitates matches the second.  Both times we were told the wait would be long and it wasn't.  I'm glad we went with the agency the first time because we had no idea what we were doing.  It was great that they held our hand every step of the way and provided us with training.  They were there for every meeting with the BPs and at the hospital.  The second time with the lawyer they provided us with no training and very little guidance with the BP relationship.  They attended our first meeting and after that we were entirely on our own.  Which was great because we were comfortable growing our relationship on our own with bmom and I think our friendship is stronger than it is with our first bmom.  The biggest difference and stressor for us was that the agency required the majority of their fees paid at time of placement so if we left the hospital without a baby we were not out a lot of money.  The lawyer required all their fees at the time of matching and we were paying bmom expenses for several months.  None of which we would get back if we left the hospital without a baby.  Going privately did save us about $10k overall.  So although we had a great experience with the law firm, I suggest an agency the first time for the guidance and less financial risk aspects.