To tell or not to tell? — The Bump
Pregnant after 35

To tell or not to tell?

Hi, All. This is my second pregnancy. I am about 8 weeks along and there is no doubt that I am clearly and obviously showing at this point! I mean, absolutely no way to hide it any longer. Even in the morning before eating and after going to the bathroom, it is obvious. But add to that the bloating and I look about 4 months pregnant by late afternoon on a bad day. I am lucky in that I have a job where I only have to see my boss about once every couple of weeks. However, tonight is one of those nights. There is a dinner and meeting scheduled tonight where not only my boss will be present, but alumni, students, etc. (I work in higher education). I have not had an ultrasound yet so we don't really know if everything is "okay". Do I: 1) Try to talk to my boss over the phone today to let him know I'm pregnant before tonight's meeting; 2) Say nothing, go to the dinner and meeting, and let my belly announce it for me, or 3) Call in sick for the dinner and meeting? What would you do? TIA.

Re: To tell or not to tell?

  • I wish I could stay in the same seat the whole time! Dinner is at a dark restaurant. No biggie there. Meeting is in a large, well-lit lecture hall. I have to stand up in the front of the room and take photos! Too bad...
  • I would go and not say a word.  Hopefully no one has the audacity to actually ask you if you are pregnant.  Personally I wouldn't want to annouce before the sono but I know others feel differntly.

    Good luck!  I was at a party this weekend and everyone wanted to know why I wasn't drinking - told them that I was nursing a hangover from the night before. :D

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  • I would go and wear a flowy dress. One that has a belt right under your boobs and the rest flows down and away from the belly area. Or-- I would wear a lose fitted wrap/shaw over my top.
    Don't tell anyone until you are ready to.
  • Thanks, good ideas. Yes, I think I may have to sacrifice professionalism (pencil skirt or trousers and a blouse) for something better at hiding my belly... Empire waist sundress with a cardigan, perhaps. Running pretty low on options at this point. I wish it were colder out and I would wear a big sweater, but it's going to be 80 degrees today.
  • Lady2010Lady2010 member
    edited September 2014
    I would go but not announce anything until I had my ultrasound (that is a personal decision though).

    You can still wear a skirt or slacks.  (use a belly band if you need to for the skirt/pants) Wear a looser, slightly longer top and pair it with a jacket or wrap.  Trust me, I doubt anyone will notice. I have found that work clothes hide the bump better than every day clothes that tend to be more fitted.  

    Good luck!

    Edited to add note re: belly band
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  • I would not announce until the US. You would be surprised what people do not notice. i did not tell ANYONE I was pregnant with my last until 18 weeks. I am only 5'4 and 105 lbs prepregnancy. I was obviously pregnant to myself, but others do not really pay attention. They may think you gained some weight. I would be surprised if anyone said anything.
  • This is my experience.  I work in an office with a casual dress code so I wear jeans EVERY DAY!  I could no longer fit into them at 8 weeks (really before that but I toughed it out) and the belly band wasn't comfortable for me due to all the bloating.  I was not willing to tell anyone until after the 1st trimester was over, so I raided my closet for long forgotten maxi dresses and wore light sweaters over them.  I did this until after my 11 week NT scan and I a well defined bump by then. 

    My office houses about 65 employees and not one single one of them said a word to me about my expanding waistline.  Once the 1st trimester was over, I started letting my belly flag fly and only then did people tell me things like, "I wondered but I didn't dare ask".  So up until the time they knew, they probably thought I was just gaining weight! LOL

    So, if you're not ready to tell then wear something flowy to hide it a little.  It's no one's business unless you want it to be. 

    That's my 2 cents.  Much luck to you tonight.  Please let us know tomorrow how it went. :)
    1/1997 - DS
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  • You got good advice! Good luck! Update us!
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