A friends judgement on telling.

Deebaz720

So I have been really bothered by what one of my friends said to me and it s making me crazy! My husband and i understand the risks of m/c early in pregnancy so we decided not to tell the world until after 1st trimester. We are however telling closest friends and family. The advice i received and loved was to "only tell people the great news, if you'd want them to know about and support negative news." To me this includes my maid of honor, sister, parents and 1 set of grand parents. We explained that its really early but it's my first pregnancy and were excited! We also asked them not to tell anyone else or post anything about it on social media. Ok so everything was great this I had my maid of honor tell me "I can't believe your telling SOO MANY PEOPLE." I'm now freaking like i did the wrong thing and am hurt that she's not flattered more to be in this top elite group of people in my life , and judging who I tell and when. Isn't that my choice? It's not like I facebooked my positive pregnancy tests! Sheesh. What should I do?

itsmevkb

Even if you had Facebooked your positive tests, that's your choice and really none of her business.

And, the idea that there is a "safe" time to announce is ridiculous.  The unfortunate truth is that women lose babies at all stages of pregnancy.

Helenahhandbasket

Everyone tells when they are ready.  Some are ready earlier than others.

FWIW-- I do think you are being a tiny bit sensitive.  Let it go.

PrimRoseMama

It's your news to do with what you choose. I am kind of side-eyeing this perception that anyone you tell should appreciate being part of "an elite group".

That sounds overly self-important & self-centered. Yes, it's great news & congrats, but placing your friends/family into first & second strings of importance is bizarre. It's even more questionable to get indignant when they don't react the way you think they should.

Cool your jets.