Hello! I am new to adoption. H and I have been through IUI, IVF, donors, etc over the past 8 years with no success. We found out we were unable to have children. We had discussed adoption, but hadn't made any decisions whether or not to move forward with it. It has been a little over a year now since our failed IVF, and I had started praying for guidance on whether or not to adopt. Out of the blue, last Monday, a young close relative came to us announcing her pregnancy and asked us to adopt! That couldn't have been a clearer answer to my prayers... This past week has been a roller coaster, but we are very hopeful that this will all work out. The BF is on board with adoption. Our next step is counseling, and talking with friends and family who have also adopted. Suggestions?

Re: Intro

  • Welcome and congrats! If you have any specific questions, feel free to post them and we can share our experiences. If you  haven't lined up a lawyer yet, i highly recommend.

    What state are you in?

  • Missouri. Thanks Dr. Loretta.
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  • What am I in for with the legal process? What should I expect, and what can go wrong, other than the obvious (BP's changing minds, MC, etc)? I'm cautiously optimistic, but would like to prepare myself.
  • I'd get a lawyer for you and a lawyer for them. If everyone's on board, it's just a matter of making sure the paperwork is done correctly so you can avoid potential problems down the road. Making sure they have counseling pre- and post-placement would be a great idea as well. Find a lawyer who is knowledgeable about adoption, and start there.

    Are they in the same state?

  • Yes, they are. Thank you for the advice!
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  • Welcome! I can only give advise on the personal side- even though it's a family/friend situation, I rec coming up with at least a minimal post-placement plan. I have a very open adoption. We have a wonderful relationship but a lot of stress and pressure came from not really knowing what to expect. We still probably would have had a lot more visits and contact than planned, but would have helped all of us to know that we'd have a visit at least every "x," update at least every "y," and anything in between would be an added bonus if it happened organically.
    Birthmom to A, 1/8- the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

    A Journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. -Lao-Tzu

  • Thanks! My husband and I are really close to her, so we definitely want to make sure everyone gets counseling. I set up a consultation with a lawyer today.
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