Feeling a little scared.... — The Bump
Two Under 2

Feeling a little scared....

So my husband and I are thrilled to know we are expecting but I am a little scared...I don't know how am going to share time with my first baby and then my second. Am i going to take time away from my 1st? is he going to feel confused? I don't know how he is going to react...that's why I am a little nervous in that part. Can anyone tell me their experience and anything that I can maybe try? That would really help. :)

Happy Monday!

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Re: Feeling a little scared....

  • I felt the exact same way.  I spent my entire pregnancy with DS worrying about how it was going to negatively affect DD and really it didn't.  Sure she got less one on one time with me after DS was born but she didn't seem to put off by it (she was 19.5 mos).  I've actually found that they seem to get less jealous of the new baby when they are younger than if there was a bigger spacing (2-3 years).  

    I'm sure DD was confused.  We read books on being a big sister and got her lots of toys for her baby so she could take care of her baby while I took care of DS.  Once DS was born I wore him a lot so that I could have two hands to attend to her.  Seriously, she was fine.  And she loves having a little brother.  
  • Basically the same thing. Mine are 19 months apart. I worried about it a lot and it hasn't been too bad at all. There are some moments of jealousy but they pass quickly. DD is happy to be a big sister and the other day I asked her if she wanted another brother or sister and she said yes! So obviously she isn't resentful.

    In the beginning she was really jealous when I was nursing the baby. One tip I found helpful with this was to make a special shoe box of items that I would bring out for her to play with when I nursed the baby. Then it became a special time for her too....
  • Like other posters, I spent a lot of my pregnancy worrying how DS1 would react and how having a new baby woukd affect him. It didn't seem to bother him at all. They are 17 months apart. Now at almost 2 and almost 6 months, there are a few times of jealousy when DS2 is nursing or playing with a toy but for the majority of the time it is great. It's normal to worry and be scared. It all works out and everyone will find the new normal. Good luck and congratulations!
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  • Really, I think one of the best gifts you can give your LO is a sibling close in age. Any temporary lost attention will be made up tenfold when they get a little older and have a built in best friend. Plus #1 will be little enough when #2 comes along that he won't know anything different. IMO that's almost easier than waiting until #1 is a few years older and can really understand what's going on.

    My advice would be to try and set aside time when you can to hang out w each kid on their own. We switch off on Saturday mornings- DH takes one kid somewhere and I take the other. It's nice for all parties involved- it's way easier to do anything w just one kid, and they get special time with us.

    Good luck!
  • Thanks everyone!

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