NWMR: Appropriate Age for Cell Phone?

jasminelorraine20

Interesting debate at work today on when it makes sense to give your child a cell phone. I didn't get one until I was in High School (when I had a job and was a little more mature). However, a co worker said given the way society is now she would probably give her kids a track phone in elementary or middle school so they can call in case they have to stay after school, etc. I disagree and I feel like that's way too young and why not use an adult's phone to call home? Curious on what your thoughts are.

IrishTraveler

My niece is 12 and just got an iPhone for her birthday. I thought that was too young for a smartphone. I think 12 is probably okay for a standard phone.

Mustardseed2007

10-12 sounds reasonable to me. I can't go off of when I was a kid. I had a pager in high school...a purple one.

jlaOK

I didn't get a cell phone until I was 16 and driving.  That being said, I recognize that times and technology are waaaaaay different now. 

I'm thinking middle school but they will get a basic phone (no smart anything) and won't have any sort of text plan.  Cell phones will also not be allowed in their bedrooms.  Phone calls, photos, etc. will be closely monitored.  They will earn more privilege as they show responsibility.  Technology is a huge part of our world and can't be ignored but can also lead to bad/dangerous situations.  It is my hope to teach my kids how to use it, but to be responsible with it. 

jasminelorraine20

jlaOK said:

I didn't get a cell phone until I was 16 and driving.  That being said, I recognize that times and technology are waaaaaay different now. 

I'm thinking middle school but they will get a basic phone (no smart anything) and won't have any sort of text plan.  Cell phones will also not be allowed in their bedrooms.  Phone calls, photos, etc. will be closely monitored.  They will earn more privilege as they show responsibility.  Technology is a huge part of our world and can't be ignored but can also lead to bad/dangerous situations.  It is my hope to teach my kids how to use it, but to be responsible with it. 

This I can get on board with. If I MUST get him a cell phone in middle school, DS will be going by thse guidelines.

SunAndRain

I didn't get a cell phone until after I'd graduated college. Wow, doesn't that make me feel old.

I wouldn't be surprised if smartphones ARE "basic" cell phones by the time DD (26 months) is ready for her own.  She already knows well how to talk to her grandparents on my iPhone, and she Facetimes with my ILs all the time!

As for WHEN we'll get her her own...I have no idea.  I'm sure social norms will have changed by then too.

CarrieB.

Our kids have an iPad that they share now. I don't really see kids using phones to call friends in the near future. That's old technology.

Our kids are 3 and 10 months. It is too hard to know what technology will be like in the next 10 years to know if they will get a phone or whatever. I guess we'll just see what happens.

I got a cell phone in college and it was pretty awesome, because I'm old and no one else had cellphones back them (late 90s).

skibunny59

I didn't get my first cell phone until I turned 17 and got my license.  At that point I was driving around with friends so my parents wanted me to have one in case of an emergency.

Before that, an adult would drive us to the mall or movie theater or wherever else we were going to and if I needed to I would just use the adult's phone.

I want to hold off on the cellphone as long as possible for my kids but I also realize that times have changed.  I am thinking maybe 13 or 14?

I agree with PP that I never understood the argument of kids needing one if they stay after school.  Why can't kids use the phones in the main office to call home?

2chatter

DD is getting one right before starting 6th grade (she will be 11.5).  She will be walking with friends to/from school and I cannot see the school from our house (elementary is in clear sight).  We don't have a home phone and most people we know don't, so when she pet sits, she takes my phone.  I am looking forward to getting her a phone - her borrowing mine is already getting old!  SD got one in third grade and I thought and still think that was pretty idiotic.  She never used it, really, until she was older, but it was like an entitled little cachet item. 

jlaOK

CarrieB. said:

Our kids have an iPad that they share now. I don't really see kids using phones to call friends in the near future. That's old technology. Our kids are 3 and 10 months. It is too hard to know what technology will be like in the next 10 years to know if they will get a phone or whatever. I guess we'll just see what happens. I got a cell phone in college and it was pretty awesome, because I'm old and no one else had cellphones back them (late 90s).

This is a really good point.  I have a pair of younger siblings so my parents have raised teenagers in the 90s and the 10s.  My siblings have no parental controls on any of their (multiple) devices because I feel like my parents are stuck in the mindset of the 80s and don't realize that they need to be more aware of what their teenagers do.  My ultimate goal as a parent is to be aware and learn about what the "new" thing is that way I'll know how protective I need to be.

litzo27

Right now there are kid phones available which can only call 911 and 4 or 6 preset numbers. We may get this for our kid soon. We already leave him at activities and drop off parties so I would prefer he has a phone if ever for whatever reason he is uncomfortable or scared to ask adult for one.

shannm

SunAndRain said:

I didn't get a cell phone until after I'd graduated college. Wow, doesn't that make me feel old.

I

Lol, that's what I was thinking. I was in grad school.

Having said that, we don't use home phones so I can imagine giving DS a phone as a preteen. I bought him an itouch when he was three.

fitmom82

I'm curious how old everyone is.  I'm 32 and got a phone at 17.  My parents were pissed but I bought it myself, I just had to hound them to get it hooked up for me.  I didn't think many of us were from a time when you could get a phone much younger than that.

I teach middle school in an urban area.  Most kids get free lunch, but most of them have nice phones.  Just the other days they were teasing a kid because he has a flip phone.

I plan on getting my kids a cheap phone when they are doing things on their own.  If I feel they can walk home from school on their own or to a friends house, they can get a basic phone.  PP made a good point about pay phones being hard to come by, although it is a good idea to teach them to ask to borrow a phone at a store.  It is also so important for kids to actually learn their phone numbers.  I can't tell you how many kids have to pull out their own cell phones to give me their parent's number because they don't know it.  You never have to remember a phone number anymore, which I think is dangerous for kids.

The last time I upgraded I asked if they still make that kid phone that calls out 4 numbers and they said it doesn't exist anymore.  I would have loved to have gotten that for my kids.

minirella

I am 33. I got my first cell phone at 18 but I paid for it and there wasn't a "contract" back then...I could cancel anytime. I didn't keep it long - a couple of months - and then a year later when I was 19 I got another cell phone due to me traveling for work. It is still the phone number that I have to this day.

We will have to look at circumstances when my children get old enough. Right now, I'd say high school is appropriate age.

Xtine22

Last month I went to get a new phone. DD was with me the sales guy was trying to sell me on getting DD a phone saying how they like to say "you are never too young to get a phone". I was like a 2 year old does NOT need one. 

I don;t know when we will get her one. I'm 32 and got my first phone for high school graduation. Before that I just took my moms when I went out with firsts. 

umma4babes

PrivacyWanted said:

I'm 34. I got a pay as you go phone at 15 it was to be strictly used to call my parents
I imagine my kids will get them once they start going to after school activities. No data plan though. And I'll have them locked to prevent game buying etc.

Yeah this is how I'd go about it. I can't imagine not giving the kids at least a basic cellphone by the time they are old enough to start after school activities. It seems like there are less and less basic phones, so it would be interesting to see what options will become available in 10 years.

NADA-H

I'm 26 now and only got my cell phone when i was almost 18 and was starting university. That changed however for my younger siblings, they got their phones in high school. I honestly don't think a kid needs a cellphone before they are out on their own and there is absolutely no other way to call home (adult's cell or landline phone) i see however a lot of kids getting iphones and ipads now and they are little teeny kids where i live and it seriously makes me mad. How would i handle it though when my baby starts school and sees other kids with phones i have no idea but i want to delay technology as much as possible.

Oh and i absolutely hate it when those parents say we had to get him a phone because everyone else in his class did and he is 6-7 years old and how they tell me that i will end up buying my kid a phone so early because of peer pressure. Remind me to buy her a pack of cigarettes too when she is a young teen so she can cope with peer pressure too! Stupid

BeachBum73

Lilki said:

I'm another oldie. I'm 40 and didn't get a cell phone until well into my twenties. When I was in college there was no internet, so all research was done *gasp* in the library. I'll most likely get my daughter a basic phone once she is responsible enough not to lose it. I don't want her having to depend on other people to get ahold of me.

Me too - 41 and I didn't get my first cell phone until I was 27 or 28 because I really didn't think I needed one. A close friend of mine has 3 kids, her youngest being the same age as my oldest. Her plan is to give them a phone when they start middle school (grade 6, age 11/12) and start participating in after school activities. Her reasoning is based on a bad experience when one of her daughters was in the 6th grade and got off the after school activity bus at the wrong stop and wasn't able to call anyone. I'll probably do the same depending on what my daughter is involved in.

amieeyoung

My son was trying to convince me he needs one for his upcoming bday in Jan (he will be 10) b/c he has friends that already have them... ummm no too early for me. Now when he is heading to MS he will get a cheap flip phone without a lot of options and in high school a bit better- but when he is old enough for a job he will have to help pay for it. Some ppl. think that sounds strict? IDK

I work with high schoolers and I know what kids do on phones... I also know what kids can do in MS on phones so it makes me nervous. Around MS is when I expect him to do more after school activities (that he might not want me there every minute for unlike now), staying at friends houses more often, staying home alone for short periods of time etc. so it makes sense for him to have one. 

amieeyoung

sctiger said:

I honestly don't get why people are so anti-phone for kids?  Obviously, it has to have rules on what is allowed and privacy is limited when younger but other than that....what's the big deal?  

Exactly. Times are changing. This is how we communicate now. It's not like when we were younger and cell phones were more of a luxury. Comparing a phone to smoking cigarettes is ridiculous. I'm not going to give in just due to peer pressure but I will look to other parents to help me figure out what is reasonable.

My issue is that I work with high school kids and know what they manage to do on phones. I would rather play it safe than have my kid in trouble for sexting pics later- I know ppl don't think kids do stuff when they are young, but they do- much earlier than most ppl realize. Kids (even teens) don't always understand what the repercussions are of decisions until it is too late. Also, their brains are not fully developed in the decision making process area.

That being said you have to trust your kids some and there are very valid situations a phone works well- home alone, watching a sibling, after school activities etc. My advice is to not get them the latest greatest tech unless you have a way to supervise/ set parental controls.

dashofreality

cjcouple said:

I honestly don't get why people are so anti-phone for kids?  Obviously, it has to have rules on what is allowed and privacy is limited when younger but other than that....what's the big deal?  

This. I have no problem with my kid having a basic phone at a 'young' age. Personally though, my kids will not have a $600 smartphone until they can afford it on their own. I also will do my best to restrict data/internet until a later age (teenager) but I agree with PPs that technology may not make that feasible.

fitmom82

NADA-H said:

I'm 26 now and only got my cell phone when i was almost 18 and was starting university. That changed however for my younger siblings, they got their phones in high school. I honestly don't think a kid needs a cellphone before they are out on their own and there is absolutely no other way to call home (adult's cell or landline phone) i see however a lot of kids getting iphones and ipads now and they are little teeny kids where i live and it seriously makes me mad. How would i handle it though when my baby starts school and sees other kids with phones i have no idea but i want to delay technology as much as possible. Oh and i absolutely hate it when those parents say we had to get him a phone because everyone else in his class did and he is 6-7 years old and how they tell me that i will end up buying my kid a phone so early because of peer pressure. Remind me to buy her a pack of cigarettes too when she is a young teen so she can cope with peer pressure too! Stupid

Why does it make you seriously mad that little kids are getting iphone and ipads.  If you don't want to be judged for not getting your child a phone at a young age, why is it ok to judge others?  I teach middle school, so I wouldn't cal my students teeny kids, but alot of them pull out iphones and tablets to read.  What's the problem with that?

NADA-H

fitmom82 said:

NADA-H said:

I'm 26 now and only got my cell phone when i was almost 18 and was starting university. That changed however for my younger siblings, they got their phones in high school. I honestly don't think a kid needs a cellphone before they are out on their own and there is absolutely no other way to call home (adult's cell or landline phone) i see however a lot of kids getting iphones and ipads now and they are little teeny kids where i live and it seriously makes me mad. How would i handle it though when my baby starts school and sees other kids with phones i have no idea but i want to delay technology as much as possible. Oh and i absolutely hate it when those parents say we had to get him a phone because everyone else in his class did and he is 6-7 years old and how they tell me that i will end up buying my kid a phone so early because of peer pressure. Remind me to buy her a pack of cigarettes too when she is a young teen so she can cope with peer pressure too! Stupid

Why does it make you seriously mad that little kids are getting iphone and ipads.  If you don't want to be judged for not getting your child a phone at a young age, why is it ok to judge others?  I teach middle school, so I wouldn't cal my students teeny kids, but alot of them pull out iphones and tablets to read.  What's the problem with that?

Hi fitmom,

it does make me made to see preschoolers at the age of 3-4 each with his own latest Ipad (they aren't the household Ipad, to each kid his own) and to see 1st graders with their own Iphone 5s!! it does, that's the age I meant with tiny not middle school kids. A first grader does not, at least to me, need a smartphone!

I live in Qatar, one of the richest countries in the world, and expensive electronics and smartphones, etc, have become a legit "toy" for kids here that you can't say no to your kid when they ask for one anymore, it's like your denying them food or something hence why I said people keep telling me that I will "give in" and get her a smartphone when she is a very little kid which I think is ridiculous, that's why I said peer pressure is not a good enough reason to do something with or for your kids, not because having a phone is similar to smoking at all. 

It has got to a ridiculous point. Kids here don't play anymore unless they are playing on their phone/Ipad, no conversation skills and they do not like interacting with anyone much, their faces are glued to those little screens from a very very early age (preschoolers) that it just can't be healthy. They even use it to tease each other, a regular flip phone wouldn't even suffice as a phone anymore it has to be a smartphone or your kid becomes the class's joke!!! (unfortunately we dont have "no texting" or "no internet" plans here) 

my 16 years old's Iphone has become so attached to her that I think it would need to be surgically removed, she would skip dinner although hungry just because she can't put her phone down for a second, she lost her phone privileges so many times because of that. It has gotten to that much of a sad situation where I live, that's why it drives me mad to see parents get their kids these gadgets at a super early age because they have helped make it "the norm" not because I'm judging them but because they are contributing to an unhealthy phenomena where I live