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Adoption
acciogravidity
member
Intro
acciogravidity
member
in Adoption
Hello! I was active some time ago on the TTGP and 3T boards under a different name. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for 3 years with many obstacles. We had what you might call a "come to Jesus" meeting yesterday and decided that we will no longer be continuing with the fertility treatments and we will start looking at adoption. I have been open to the idea my whole life as I am adopted myself, and that was one of the first conversations I had with my husband on our first date, so I'm very glad that at the very least we know we are on the same page. I am literally in the very beginning stages of looking into our states laws and agencies, so I know nothing at this point, and was hoping to slowly integrate into this board to learn more about the process, challenges, and rewards (I hope that's okay).
We are both in our late 20's and have been married for 3 years. We own a small home with a huge yard that is perfect for our many giant breed dogs (if any of you are giant lovers, yay!). If any of you have any advice along the lines of "I wish I had known XYZ when I first started looking into adoption" I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you!
wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Intro
I usually suggest that people considering adoption should check out an introductory book on the subject, because there are so many different kinds of adoption, each with its own process. I think books like Adoption for Dummies or The Complete Idiot's Guide To Adoption (which I used) are a great place to get started. They provide lots of basic information on adoption, the different types, the processes, and how to research an agency. Other good books are The Complete Adoption Book and You CAN Adopt. Any of these will help you decide which type of adoption best “fits” your family.
If you then decide that domestic adoption is right for your family, you’ll need to find a good agency. I highly recommend researching any agency you are considering to make sure it abides by ethical standards. For domestic agencies, a great place to look them up is on the yahoo group called "AARD" (Adoption Agency Research – Domestic). That group is dedicated to giving honest feedback on agencies. You can ask about the agencies you are interested in directly, and also search their archives and files.
If you choose international, you’ll then need to pick from which country. The US Department of State's website lists the requirements to adopt from each country (https://adoption.state.gov/). Once you've made your country choice, you'll need to find an agency that has a program specializing in adoptions from that country. There are some great agencies that have some really strong programs in countries they've been working in for some time...and some fledgling programs in countries that are new to them. Even though these agencies are generally highly recommended, their newer programs may not work as well as those that are more renowned, because they haven't had the time and experience to figure out all the kinks, establish strong contacts, and become aware of all the pitfalls.
It's also a good idea to find an agency that has a strong program in more than one country you are interested in. Adoption programs can be very volatile, as they are dependent on the laws of multiple countries/compacts, diplomatic relations, public perception, etc. It's not unheard of for a country to drastically slow down their process or close entirely, and if your agency specializes in more than one country you are interested in, you should be able to transfer to another program with limited difficulty or cost (you should make sure of this when interviewing agencies).
The yahoo group "Adoption Agency Research" is a phenomenal resource for vetting agencies, and works the same way as “AARD.”
"Even miracles take a little time"