What to do with Big Sister

Baby Sister is arriving in one week via scheduled RCS!  Can't wait to meet her!

I felt like recovery went really well with #1, despite the fact that I went all the way through labor and pushed for 3 hours and was completely exhausted.  I'm hopeful that this recovery will go smoothly since it's scheduled and I won't have to go through all of that beforehand.  

My biggest fear is with my 2 year old.  I'm SAHM, so we do everything together and she loves her snuggle time!  I'm worried about how she's going to handle all of this change, especially since I won't be able to pick up her for a bit.  And I'm nervous that she'll unintentionally hurt my incision if she climbs up next to me on the couch or whatever.  

Do you have any advice on recovery with a 2 year old in tow?  My parents live close by, so thankfully between my husband, parents and MIL coming for a week, I"ll have someone with me for the first 3 weeks, but I'm still nervous...

Re: What to do with Big Sister

  • We talked a lot about me having a boo-boo on my tummy and how she needed to be gentle with me. I said this every time she would run up to me and it would slow her down. Mine was a little over two when DS was born. She got it pretty well. For the most part, DH just entertained her in that first week and she didn't really have any issues.
  • Just make sure you make some special time for her whenever possible. It can be simple things like, I painted DDs nails, we made brownies, and read books. We also had the baby bring DD a present, a big sister book and the nail polish because she was a big girl now. She was 2.5 when DS was born.

    And just remember she may want nothing to do with the baby. DD was all about the baby coming out of mommy's tummy, but when he actually got here she wanted nothing to do with him for about a month.

    Good luck, its hard at first, but so much fun to see them interact and play together.

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  • I have a two year old and also a SAHM. I'm two weeks pp, I still have to remind her to be easy bc mammas belly has a boo boo. Try not to pick her up, DD fell last week and I thought I could hold her bc I wasn't really hurting anymore, and I busted a vein above my incision that turned into a huge bruise and it took much longer to go away.

    I also had my mil here last week and she chased DD around, changed her, bathed her. She pretty much did everything that was harder for me to do.
  • I am dreading this part actually. My DD1 is 2y7m, will be 2y9m when baby arrives. She is SUPER attached and clingy with me esp lately. It is just RIDICULOUS esp at school drop off time. We will not have any family to help, and MH has a stupid busy work schedule so not sure what will happen. I might have to have a sitter come in help daily. Though lately DD throws a full on hysterics loaded tantrum when she has to stay with the sitter - same person we've been using since she was 16mo. Ughh... Kids...
  • Talk to her DD#1 was 23 months when DD#2 was born and I'm a SAHM so after 2 weeks of help from DH I was on my own. Before that we still talked to her about why I was hurting and let her sit with me while I nursed. I always keep a boppy on me while sitting until I feel better to cushion any whoopsies.
    Me - J.R. - 05/1986
    DH - J.I. - 08/1986
    Married - 09/22/2006
    DD#1 - A.E. - 12/15/2009
    DD#2 - N.R. - 11/07/2011
    DD#3 - S.R. - 05/20/2013
      DS - R.E. - 10/03/2014

    Absolutely in love with our 'big' family!

    I'm also a proud Auntie to a crazy little girl, her brand new baby sister, a little man on his way in the next month, and a sweet little mister we will miss forever!!!
  • I would start talking to her ASAP about what things will be like when the baby comes out. You will have an owie on your tummy and you won't be strong enough to pick her up, etc. When you are feeding the baby she will have to be very careful, etc. And try to think ahead of things you will be capable of, activities you can still do together so she doesn't feel totally shafted. Colouring?


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  • I know it's a little different but when dd was 2 I had to have my galbladder removed. We told her that mommy had a really big owey on her belly and for the most part she was good about it. She did accidentally bump me a few times but the main thing to remember is not get upset with them. I'm having a RCS on the first and we just told her the same thing(she is now 4 but she remembers when I had my galbladder out). Good luck :)
  • edited October 2014
    We start prepping the kids 2 or so months ahead of time. So that by the time the baby is born, the way we cuddle is different. The lifting is not happening, and there is no crawling over mama. We do talk about a lot when new baby comes, mommy will have an ouchy on her belly. I think with one child, we actually had to show it to them. It made it more real and easier for them to understand. Now, they still forget, so some gentle reminding is needed, but they will live. There was some jealousy, but at 2, the child should be able to get in and out of a car with little help. Maybe a hand to hold on to and steady her. Same with getting into her car seat. Be sure to give her big sister jobs of maybe fetching diapers or something. Ours always LOVED helping mommy that way and it helped to lessen the jealousy. 

    My kids are 14 months, 13 months, 26 months, 23 months and the last set will be just shy of 14 months apart. All Csection. So I feel you! 

    Edited in: You can still color together, do some small easy crafts without to much work, play tea party or with toys (do so on the couch so you are not getting off the floor or bending to much) read together (have her sit beside you and do an arm around cuddle, it will hurt less), you can still take her to play places like at the mall or playground if you are in a warmer state. Have her help pick up things off the floor. We had one child who likes to sweep and clean so we got them a child sized broom. Sounds funny, but at 6 he STILL asks to help out with sweeping and picking things up.
    DS1 - 6/07
    DS2 - 8/08
    DS3- 9/09
    DD1 - 11/11
    DD2 - 10/13
    DD3 - Csection Scheduled November 29th
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