Stay at Home Moms

What do you think re: FAS

A mom I know from my mom group has announced today her son has been diagnosed with fetal alcohol effects I think. I know it's thought to be a spectrum now, kind of like autism. I think her pretty brave for putting it out there. Her son has some emotional issues,a long with LD. Her doctor just told her his eye site, where his eyes are located I think, is a sure sign, along with other physical indicators. She was very candid on facebook today. Said she did drink wine before she knew she was pregnant but never drank after 6 weeks. Also, she mentioned something about the father being drunk at conception can cause it as well. Some of my friends are asking her questions like, exactly how much did you drink, are you sure you didn't drink more etc. would you be so brave to announce it? I honestly don't know if I would. I did have an occasional glass of wine while TTC so I can't judge.

Re: What do you think re: FAS

  • I agree that my gut is also that she is not telling the truth.  I am not an expert, but that seems pretty unlikely. 
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  • I think that is why people keep questioning her. She linked a lot of studies, etc. I had never heard the male being intoxicated could cause it.
  • meglewmeglew member
    edited September 2014

    I think that is why people keep questioning her. She linked a lot of studies, etc. I had never heard the male being intoxicated could cause it.

    Were her medical sources Wikipedia? Seriously though, I have never heard of men being drunk at conception a significant factor in FAS.
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  • I don't think I'd be so open about it, especially if it wasn't the truth. (How much I actually drank)
  • From what I can find with my ninja google skills lol, the fathers intoxication can lead to deformed sperms and then learning disabilities later on. But most things I read state the child would not have the physical characteristics associated with FAS. I'm not super close with her so I don't think it affects our relationship. But I know deep down I can't look at her the same way. I feel wrong about that.
  • If a doctor told me that, I'd get a second opinion ASAP and definitely wouldn't be making any announcements on Facebook.
    This, absolutely. I agree that it sounds like there is more to the story.

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  • Also dr google tells me that you have to be drinking a significant amount of alcohol to develop fas--
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  • If a doctor told me that, I'd get a second opinion ASAP and definitely wouldn't be making any announcements on Facebook.

    I would be getting multiple options as well. If I was certain of the diagnosis, I could see posting on fb. It is so much easier to control information if you put the info you want out on fb instead of waiting for rumors or unplanned conversations to occur. You can plan what to say, how much information to give (or not give), and take the pain out of having a million tough conversations. I bet she already feels like shit so the people piling on probably doesn't help.
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  • catycatecatycate member
    edited September 2014
    I'm not sure I buy it, but. I don't think I would question her- that's just rubbing salt in the wound, kwim? No matter how much she drank at 6 weeks or beyond, she caused her son to have a lifelong disorder. That's hard to wrap your head around. But DS was a nuva ring baby, so it didn't even occur to me that I was pregnant until I was 11 weeks. I both drank and smoked pot and I was freaked the eff out something would be wrong with DS. So far he seems to be fine, but the thought lingers in the back of my head and I would be devastated if he started to show effects of fas. I'm not sure I would be as open as to put it out on Facebook, but I'd probably be open with close friends and family. Eta: just wanted to add that I stopped both immediately but was pretty scared of the damage I had done in the 11 weeks.
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  • Pretty sure DH & I were drunk. Not an issue here.

    She's not telling the truth. 
  • Your friend is a closet alcoholic.
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  • I did my senior thesis on FAS. Granted it was some years ago, but I still remember most of the research. She totally drank more than she's fessing up to.  It's not recommended that men drink during conception but there isn't conclusive research saying this causes problems.  The kind of effects where eyes are affected and where philtrum is flattened comes from repeated exposures to alcohol.  However, you don't have to drink at alcoholic levels to affect the baby. some people metabolize alcohol slowly, usually women.  This is problematic. Also, ACOG does not want to give women mixed messages about alcohol so they error on side of caution by saying none, That and since it lowers inhibition, one drink leads to another in lots of people, better to not get started. She must feel guilty and is therefore bringing it up.  This is a sad but real problem, current numbers say FASD affects 40,000 newborns each year.  :(
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  • Lurker-loo here: I'm pretty sure that sperm is not a made as needed thing. I think it takes something like 3 months for them to mature and be ejaculated; it's why when people are dealing with MFI they generally take samples 3 months apart to see if any treatment is working. Unless the father drinks so much that all of his sperm have a deformity, which I have heard of happening, I don't think that's it. I don't think you just get wasted one night and all of a sudden it changes sperm that have already matured.

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  • That doesn't jive with what I've heard, which is that at 6 weeks the umbilical cord forms and before that what you drink is unlikely to affect the baby. But I also know FAS is not well understood so I can't say for sure that she's lying.

    The male factor thing seems like it would be a long-term impact, not an issue that would develop in the moment. I say that because it takes 1-3 months to declare a man infertile after a vasectomy, meaning that the sperm that is ejaculated during sex wasn't formed that night. So I guess if her partner has a serious drinking problem and has for a while there's a chance that was a factor, but I don't think there's a risk of conceiving while drunk causing issues otherwise.

    My instinct says that either she didn't stop drinking when she says she did, her dates were off so she drank later into the first trimester than she thought or she's a closet alcoholic and is trying to cover it up.
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